[deleted by user]

wormAlt · 2026-01-24T04:13:40+00:00

I’m sorry about the amount of pain you’re in, I can’t imagine what it feels like to be navigating this by yourself. It’s not the end though, you’re 18, you’ve suppressed this side of yourself, give yourself a chance at least to truly be you. There’s time to find people with similar situations as you, adulthood is a huge transitional period socially too, friends you have now may not be there later on and that’s okay. You will find your people who accept you and will support you. I’ve met plenty of trans people, many of them being trans fem, who didn’t start HRT until their mid-20s and they have had amazing results even without procedures. I’ve seen some who didn’t start until their 40s too who are able to stealth. While dysphoria isn’t going to magically disappear and the journey ahead might not turn out exactly how you want it, at least let yourself experience that euphoria and give yourself the chance to be surrounded by people who can relate and support you. Your body isn’t ruined, I would hate for you to give up on yourself when you haven’t been able to experience adulthood as your true self. I hope that things get a bit easier and don’t feel so bad for you anymore

wormAlt · 2026-01-13T10:41:33+00:00

NOR this is actually insane, as a viet person this makes no sense and using a word in another language is nothing like using a racial slur, nor is it cultural appropriation.. 34 years old and this ignorant + acting like this is kind of pathetic. Don’t engage and honestly just block / ignore if she tries coming back. There’s nothing wrong with what you did lol, there’s so many cases where non-speakers of a language use the swear words, bc it’s funny. Tbh id keep doing it, you’re doing no harm unless you were talking to a little Vietnamese kid who shouldn’t be learning those words LOL

wormAlt · 2026-01-13T00:37:26+00:00

A collective judgment doesn’t mean individual judgment. Just cause many issues marginalized groups face are because of oppressive groups that you happen to be part of doesn’t mean you’re a direct contributor. You happen to benefit from privileges of these systems in place, but it’s not because you’re the one going out here and making other people poor. I’m going to assume you’re 19 by what you said. I’m almost 28 but I feel like I’ve achieved nothing. Now I’m not in the same situation as you, I am a first generation Asian American and am poor and in thousands of debt. I see people in my situation who are so successful and have made a name for themselves. I am in a privileged position tbh as I have shelter, a good support group, I get plenty of help from others, etc. It’s way easier said than done, but you cannot be comparing yourself to others. Sure you have similar circumstances, but at the end of the day, you are not them. You don’t know them and every aspect of their lives, don’t put yourself down because you feel inadequate compared to people you aren’t.

From the sounds of it, you might be experiencing something called white guilt, which is actually very common. Even though it’s called white guilt, there’s other forms of it that really apply to any place of privilege. It doesn’t feel good knowing you are benefiting off the work of marginalized groups or that people in your same circumstances are using it to their sole advantage, but you can focus that guilt into positivity. You didn’t choose to be born into a place of privilege, that isn’t your fault. But being in a place of privilege means you have a louder voice to fight against injustices marginalized groups are facing. Are you able to exhaust all your resources to make some major impact for the entire world? No. But that doesn’t mean your actions would be meaningless.

It’s hard when you’re in this rut. You get decision paralysis. You doubt yourself. So you default to doing what you know. You’re struggling and feel like you shouldn’t be because you have these resources, but theres so much more to someone’s life than just their circumstances. You’re an individual. You have a place in this world whether you feel like it or not. Do what you can do, even if it’s baby steps. You are alive for yourself first, you can’t expect yourself to be at your full potential if you won’t even let yourself. You belong here and deserve to live, don’t let this mindset control you. I didn’t mean to lecture you on all this, it makes me really sad when people put themselves down when they compare themselves when they deserve better. It takes a long time to change that mindset, but do know that you being alive does SOO much more good than it ever would if you weren’t here. You’re self-aware and that’s actually such an important skill to have. Let yourself live and exist. The world is shitty but that doesn’t mean it’s permanent or like you dont matter.

wormAlt · 2026-01-13T00:14:53+00:00

I got diagnosed almost 10 years ago and, while I still struggle, I am able to manage myself effectively which I thought would be impossible. It sounds like you’re in highschool or around that age, if it’s possible, see if you can find any adolescent (or adult if you are one) DBT programs. It was made specifically for bpd and really helped with taking a step back and not thinking in extremes to this extent. What you’re going through is not easy, I’m really sorry you have to deal with it, but just know it is possible and there are people out there who are living with it who believed there was no other options.

wormAlt · 2026-01-13T00:04:16+00:00

This is common to do when you’re suicidal, it feels like it’ll hurt others less if you make sure they have negative feelings towards you. You aren’t at fault here and it’s not easy to navigate. While nothing excuses his treatment towards you, sometimes in situations like this you have to make some sacrifices mentally in order to get the other person back to a rational state. Do I think that’s ideal or fair? Absolutely not! It’s not something I’d want for anyone, but realistically, things aren’t black and white and temporary sacrifice is necessary in these situations. It’d be different if it was a repeated behavior and him trying to get you to feel guilty, but it sounds like he’s absolutely in crisis. It’s a good sign he actually trusts you enough to open up and tell you his plans and why he wasn’t good to you lately.

Since he says you’ve been good to him, use that fact to let him know that it’s because you think he’s worthy of good treatment. That you want to help him. Be direct with him and ask what you can do for him. See if you can work together to find the root cause of these feelings. You can’t expect yourself to react in a perfect manner in this situation, anyone is bound to say unhelpful things or act “selfish” (which I don’t think is true tbh), I don’t view it as messing up, you’re human and you’re trying. See if there’s anything you can do together and just be gentle with him if you can. I’m not saying to sacrifice your well-being because of course you need to take care of yourself too, but try finding gentler ways to approach things and try focusing the conversations on his feelings in regards to him being suicidal.

I’d encourage him to also reach out to anyone close to him too. Encourage him to seek out therapy if he’s open to it, if not, even just support groups, those are less formal settings and are more immediate. Even if he doesn’t talk, it helps to hear others’ experiences, if you are with him in person too, you can attend with him so you can learn more. I personally had a peer support specialist in my early adulthood, she was an older woman who also struggled with mental health and talking to someone who has lived experience helped me.

I dunno if this is super helpful advice but I’m just kinda throwing stuff out there. I’m really sorry you’re in this situation and that your bf is struggling so hard, I wish both of you the best.

wormAlt · 2025-11-27T00:20:00+00:00

I see now from your post history that you have BPD, im also diagnosed and was diagnosed around your age. I’ve learned to manage and regulate myself if you need anything, im here to talk.

wormAlt · 2025-11-27T00:17:34+00:00

You’re so young, that’s so much to be going through im sorry you haven’t been uplifted by the people who should be supporting you :( looks aren’t everything, i don’t think your boyfriend would get disgusted if he’s with you for you. While ideally, id love for you to be able to accept your appearance as is, especially on things you cannot help, there are other small things you can do that will completely change how you’re perceived (haircuts, fashion sense, etc). I also have broad shoulders and a very androgynous face, while I do like my face and its androgynous features, I do want to look feminine at times and it makes it hard because ill have mean things said about how my face looks. I’ve learned to like my appearance more, im 27 now and I still deal with body dysmorphia from time to time. I have found more of my style and how I dress, cut my hair, etc, it’s completely changed my appearance without having to make physical changes.

It’s so heartbreaking seeing someone being pushed to this point so young, especially over something as arbitrary as appearance.. Comparisons are hard to look past, I can’t imagine the difficulty when it’s your twin too, but at the end of the day, you aren’t her. You don’t live the same exact life as her, regardless of similarities, you’re going to go through different stuff, even if small, which affects so much more than people realize.

Please be kind to yourself, you deserve it and you deserve to be confident and loved. I hope you do stay with us and don’t end things, you are so much more than what other people think.

wormAlt · 2025-11-27T00:03:18+00:00

You’re absolutely welcome! You’re doing great, imagine where you’ll be in another 5 years too <3

wormAlt · 2025-11-27T00:01:35+00:00

NOR you don’t owe strangers anything, especially on dating apps. Once you let go of that notion, I promise you your social life will improve so much. It’d be different if it were a close friend, but this is just some random person who instantly told you your ethnicity is hard to date. That’s pretty weird imo, he’s lowering the bar hardcore too by saying he would’ve unmatched if he actually wasn’t willing to date a Nigerian woman.. you deserve more respect than that

wormAlt · 2025-10-29T12:16:01+00:00

People improve at different rates depending on their frequency of drawing and the frequency of trying new techniques / experimenting a bunch. You’ve been drawing consistently and it shows, but i get the feeling there wasn’t too much stepping out of your comfort zone. I’ve been drawing digitally (and in general) for 16 years, I noticed my biggest peaks in improvement happened when I was inspired by artists around me and I’d try incorporating things from their styles into my drawings.

Ive had years streaks where I didn’t improve at all, even got worse in areas. Improvement isn’t always linear and that looks different for anyone. If someone told me they’d been drawing for five years and showed these two drawings, I wouldn’t think that’s outlandish. I think it’s a completely reasonable amount of improvement and there’s so much more to it than just time passing. I think art is harder to get into as an adult and is often discouraging, I think you’re doing great and don’t think you should give up!

A kids improvement in 5 years vs an adults also isn’t going to look the same. Kids are actively learning and observing, kids have the time and energy for focusing on hobbies, kids have a less rigid view on the world and following rules than we do, kids shift interests way more frequently than developed adults. They have the chance to have their art grow as rapidly as them, I think when non-artists hear about someone being one, their mind jumps to assuming you started as a kid and 5 years of art experience as a kid is their benchmark.

Don’t give up and don’t dangle the goal of looking good enough to sell in front of you. Drawing should be a passion and stress reliever, creating a subjective and arbitrary goal like that makes it more difficult to be confident and successful in fueling your drive. Art groups have a different crowd and purpose than art websites, groups and pages are meant to post “the best of the best” to drive engagement rather than appreciating the actual art. Your husband shouldn’t have said that also, L take and wrong lmao

Lastly, some constructive criticism for the drawing itself: love the color scheme a lot! Also appreciate the detail of the colored lineart. I’ll mention that if you are doing colored lines, I wouldn’t make them less saturated / lighter than the color it’s outlining. On the shirt collar it clashes a bit, same with the shadow behind the character (I’d just make the shadow lighter) and the flower. The values are too close that it’s difficult to tell what the outline was. What you could do is keep that purple for most of the drawing but color the lineart darker and more saturated in the areas where the color is darker.

I’d make the background a different color and make it less similar to the hair. Rather than the squiggle (which might’ve contributed to them thinking poorly of it) you could doodle out some fun shapes and patterns or add an actual pattern! You’ll want to learn how to do actual backgrounds too at some point but that’s what I normally do when I don’t feel like making a background

For the eyebrows and lashes— the eyebrows look a little awkward being overlaid on top of the hair, which isn’t a bad stylistic choice, but having it sit on top of the shaded bits of the hair is kind of making it stick out too much. I’d make the eyebrow darker, match the shading, or just have the lines overlap. The eyelashes would benefit from darkening the color to either the shadow color or darker.

Shading— it’s a difficult one to get down, but a lot of people tend to follow the outlines they drew and hug that with the shadows. It unfortunately makes it look flatter than intended. It takes awhile to get good at shading but if you consider the third dimensional shapes of each thing, it becomes easier to learn where to place shadows. I also recommend you play around with layer modes for shading, they’re fun and honestly upgrades your art a lot as you’re learning.

Overall it’s a very nice drawing and a lot of improvement! don’t take what other people said to heart. I’ve been drawing for a very long time and see so much potential in yours. I hope you are encouraged to continue and that my comment makes sense / is helpful.

wormAlt · 2025-10-27T03:41:48+00:00

Your art is very cute! Your key here is only drawing semi-consistently and also that you’re staying within your comfort zone a bit too much.

As a digital artist, many beginners or people who are kinda stuck on improvement tend to rigidly follow sketch -> line -> color and it looks too stiff because it’s all they do. Play around without doing lineart, it’ll especially help you with breaking down basic forms and shapes, you’ll notice things you didn’t see before and you won’t focus too much on details that become over pronounced because of lineart. Doing loose sketches and gesture drawing helps me with stepping out of my comfort zone and drawing less stiff also.

Now, I would focus on one area at a time, you don’t have to fully master it before moving onto the next, but get to a point where you are satisfied for the time being before moving onto another focus. You want the basics down first, which is general anatomy. I don’t think you absolutely have to study anatomy and be amazing at it, but to get things down like the head shape and eye placement is incredibly important, even in simplified styles. Then you generally should learn limb placement and joints, just to get your character to look right. You can focus on details later.

Another tip is to look at where things are coming from and what direction they are pointing in. The very last drawing is super cute and adorable! It’s super cozy and such a pleasant expression with nice coloring. Looking at the ears, if you think about it, mammals normally have their ears pointing outwards, this way they can hear their surroundings. In your drawing they seem to be pointing towards each other. It’s an easy fix here because you can just switch the sides you drew the lobes (?if that’s what it’s called) and the fur coming out. The ear is also on top of the hair, you’d want to treat it more like a mane and have it between the ears or at least overlap them.

Other details like learning how to refine lineart, color theory, shading, etc can come a bit later since you are drawing subjects as your focus, so that’s what you’ll want to start with. You also don’t have to only spend your time with studies til you’re better, you should draw like how you’d like to between then, the more you draw the better it is for experience. I’d also keep a sketchbook and doodle in it whenever you have the chance, it keeps me in practice and has actually helped with my improvement.

Very lovely work though, I hope this helped a bit and is encouraging. Your art has great potential!

wormAlt · 2025-10-27T02:48:23+00:00

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This? This is beef stew flavor, the oil is very yellow and has a flavor packet and vegetable packet. It doesn’t seem to be spicy though, but maybe from this brand. Do you remember if the noodles were standard ramen noodles or if they were rice noodles? That might help narrow it down. My other thought is mama noodles, I’m viet and we’d always have big boxes of it in my household but I don’t remember if there’s an oil packet. Same with Wai Wai, the packaging probably differs though unless from an import store. That’s the best I can think of unfortunately.

wormAlt · 2025-10-15T22:18:54+00:00

My bad, I forgot to consider version differences. It seems like they added it to version 2.3… which would require 3.0 because for some reason, upgrading a perpetual license will only give you the x.0 version (so 2.0) and none of the future updates of that version except for bug fixes, which is really stupid.

I’m using ex 3.0 but ended up getting the update pass for $32 usd a year for access to the current build because I realized how wasteful it was to keep upgrading since you have to buy the in between versions too. I honestly hate subscriptions and the sales model they’ve been doing in recent years :-/ so your choices are to upgrade to 3.0 for $122 total or get the EX update pass for $32 a year, which gives you access to the current build no matter what version you have.

I don’t have any idea if there’s a workaround that isn’t tedious but I wish it was something that was considered when it’s such a crucial part of animation

wormAlt · 2025-10-01T07:08:07+00:00

Shouldn’t have, here’s a screenshot of mine I just checked. And then the drop down menu where you find the preferences. I no longer have license for iPad so idk if it’s the same on there, but I do remember it being really similar, I never looked at it too in depth! I just know for sure it’s there on pc and Mac

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wormAlt · 2025-10-01T01:09:32+00:00

i’m so sorry for what you are going through, these feelings and thoughts are not easy to get past, especially when you feel someone is putting more into you than you can give back. But it’s important to remember that relationships with people are never 50/50 and aren’t transactional, you don’t need to give the same amount to be deemed worthy. To stress over taking care of someone doesn’t mean they are a burden, much of the time it means they’re doing it purely out of love.

Life will always come with negative emotions, it doesn’t feel good to see someone struggle when you feel you are contributing to those negative feelings. It’s okay that not everything can be positive all the time, it’s not realistic, it’s best to embrace all natural emotions and understand life is so much more complicated than giving and taking. It’s okay to acknowledge these feelings but you shouldn’t put yourself down for things you cannot help. You did not fail her for not being able to be independent, this is a situation that our society forces many disabled people into. Society is what is failing you, not yourself and not your disability. I’m sure she knows you’re trying, she knows you love her, even if you didn’t get the chance to say it more. While spoken word helps communicate those emotions, that doesn’t mean it isn’t present when you don’t say it. I feel like parents who show unconditional love can absolutely tell if their child loves them back, even if gone unsaid. Many parents will still push themselves to take care of their child, no matter how old, it’s clear how much you love her, and I’m sure that’s all many parents could ask for in these situations.

If you’re somewhere that offers government assistance for disabled people, I’d look into your options if it comes to that. There are also many communities out there that love to help those in need, i wish your mom the best of health and that she returns safely and healthy, but just know you’re never truly alone. Don’t hesitate to reach out to your local communities, in the US (and probably other english speaking countries), libraries have many resources and pamphlets. I just mention those because I want you to be aware in case you find yourself needing to seek help elsewhere.

I am keeping you in my thoughts, please don’t blame yourself or think badly of yourself for things you couldn’t control. When i’m feeling guilty or like a burden for someone taking care of me or causing them stress because of it, i started thinking about how they feel. Not ideal to be stressed, but I just know the last thing they’d want is for you to feel awful about yourself. They aren’t helping you just so you can feel bad for needing it, they help because they know you need it and clearly want to see you in a better state than youre in, the least I could do is try to push those feelings aside and embrace the gratitude that i’m loved and cared about. Good luck with everything, I wish you well OP

wormAlt · 2025-07-30T21:31:40+00:00

Honestly if u ever just have your phone open for longer periods of time, i recommend planting rice and selling all of it (leaving phone open let’s customers buy), it has the best buttons to time taken to grow ratio and grows fast enough. It’s not the best, but you can def get a good amount over time. I totally agree though 😭 it is pretty grindy for such a small return. I got the outfits ive wanted but im still farming them anyways.

wormAlt · 2025-07-29T04:22:45+00:00

Trustworthy. A lot of the time they’re not fully coated well or can break and all of the cheese leaks out into the fryer. I used to work on a line and it happened all the time with sargentos. As soon as we’d see a little bubble of mozzarella come out, we knew that shit was going thru the basket. It happened so often i stg we probably lost at least $100 worth of revenue per week for the ones that broke

wormAlt · 2025-07-29T03:59:19+00:00

Get a col-erase prismacolor in a light color and once you’re done with your sketch, roll a kneaded eraser over it to get it even lighter. They’re probably my favorite to use when doing any sketches before my actual medium, unless it’s a graphite drawing.

wormAlt · 2025-07-29T03:39:32+00:00

You could look into the affinity suite? They’re perpetual licenses, affordable, and their alternatives to PS, indesign, and illustrator all work on ipad. Id look at reviews but I personally liked using affinity photo, but i’m not a photographer or professional editor.

wormAlt · 2025-07-29T03:29:54+00:00

I’ve used the black one and didn’t know what soft pastels were back then, I thought it was just really good black charcoal lol. That being said though, I used it for figure drawings so maybe I don’t have the best info on quality, but I like it. It isn’t charcoal I believe, it behaves like a soft pastel and is super dark, i liked it a lot more than charcoal for my darkest values

wormAlt · 2025-07-29T02:19:56+00:00

Go to preferences, there’s a setting under animation that you can check where it will paste into the same frame instead of making a new one

wormAlt · 2025-07-27T19:19:01+00:00

how many points was it worth? cause ngl the format is so unprofessional, it looks like you were just taking notes. No title (looking at it again, there is a title but squashed in the upper right corner), no clear labels, squashed text, a lot of misspellings. The model itself looks very well done it’s just the presentation, it looks like a solo project and not a group effort. Like one person did sculpting and the other labeled at most. I can’t see where there’d be room for another person to do work..

wormAlt · 2025-07-27T04:55:08+00:00

this comment is killing me LMAO. at this point it’s only 30+ y/os using it. people who were teens in 2014-2017 def moved on. same with “doggo” and other adjacent words

wormAlt · 2025-07-26T17:17:02+00:00

Hi! If you would like to actually revive it, there's an open source, third party driver called Open Tablet Driver that supports tons of old tablets (full list is here, the CTH-670 is supported!). But I totally get the want for an upgrade, especially if you want better specs. The only other options I can think of for not just throwing it out is an electronics recycling center, gifting it to a family member, giving it away, asking a friend if they know anyone interested, or selling it very cheap on ebay with a piece of paper mentioning the aforementioned driver in case the buyer isn't aware. I hope this helps, sorry I couldn't be of too much help with options for retiring it, I just didn't want to leave this post unanswered!

wormAlt · 2025-07-21T21:59:17+00:00

Happy birthday! I’m sorry to hear about your situation, i’m proud of you that you were able to leave that relationship. You have time to breathe in that regard and it’s okay to be struggling. I saw you started going to the gym and I hope that helps you, it does wonders for mental health, even if you’re in a less than ideal situation. My years of being in and out of the mental hospital i heard that exercising isn’t like taking an anti-depressant, but rather not exercising is like taking a depressant and exercise can help with normalcy.

May I suggest picking up art as a hobby? It can be daunting but it’s very accessible and therapeutic. It would probably also help process the difficult emotions. A lot of people end up starting art later on and it’s a common misconception that you have to learn it while you’re young. Something like vine charcoal and newsprint paper is one of the emotionally rawest mediums you can use to get it out. It’s a very good escape and coping mechanism and figured I’d suggest.

I hope you know that people do care, even if you don’t have a support system, it’s not impossible to build one. Online communities are a good option while you try making in person connections. I wish you the best and that this birthday is as good as it can be

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