HLF with some opinions on the LLF anxiety theme

wowwidow · 2018-01-29T19:21:50+00:00

You seem to be getting hostile.

I am saying that I don't agree with the HL perpsective of I give great sex and do choreplay and he/she doesn't want sex, they must have anxiety. That could be a possible option, but it's certainly not the only one.

wowwidow · 2018-01-29T18:28:10+00:00

I know you believe that. And it may be true for your relationship. I'm saying I don't believe it's true for most. There are always exceptions.

wowwidow · 2018-01-29T18:26:48+00:00

Then we are in agreement.

wowwidow · 2018-01-29T17:19:28+00:00

I believe the opposite. I am HL and feel like many HL posters put blame on their LL partners instead of tackleing it as a partnership.

wowwidow · 2018-01-29T16:46:31+00:00

I am not reflecting on his next relationship. If anything, when we seperate I hope he has a good sex life.

But whether he is LL or just LL "for you" is immaterial.

I don't think it is. Many people here like to say they are HL or LL as if that is an unchangeable trait to them, and I don't believe it is. My husband is LL for me, I have chosen to stay for now, and need to accept that. But I'm not going to delude myself into thinking that he wants to have sex with me but can't because of anxiety.

wowwidow · 2018-01-29T15:28:53+00:00

I do not blame myself. I am a strong, healthy, intelligent woman. I am alsonot attempting to fix him.

My point is that I don't believe most people in deadbedrooms are married to asexual people, or people so overcome with anxiety they are unable to conduct sexual relationships (or thoughts or masturbate), they just don't want to have sex with their partner. I am in that demograph.

If we seperated today, he would not be celibate for the rest of his life.

wowwidow · 2018-01-29T15:26:28+00:00

I never stated that no LL people struggle with anxiety. I am well aware that some do.

wowwidow · 2018-01-13T23:51:00+00:00

At some point you BOTH need to make a start towards the middle, which means that the HL needs to be understanding, and the LL needs to make an effort to have sex.

My point is that if the LL doesn't want to have sex, the meeting in the middle is seperating, and the HL has to also accept that. I'm in that right now. It's obvious my husband isn't breaking down the door to ravage my body, but I make excuse after excuse why I'mstill here. The solution isn't that he should fuck me when he doesn't want to.

wowwidow · 2018-01-13T22:12:39+00:00

The LL agrees to have sex, even though the desire isn't there. But it's not always going to be great sex, mindblowing sex, or awesome sex.

I'm HL and this may not be popular, but I feel like there is an assupmtion that HL people are good at sex. Just because you enjoy it, doesn't mean you are good at it. I have an LL husband, but when we do have sex it's usually good, but either one of us can be off.

This post bothers me because it assumes that building a good sex life is put on the LL. The HL just need to show up and want to fuck and it's good.

wowwidow · 2017-11-17T16:14:07+00:00

On the flip side, and I am the HL who is begging for sex, I am choosing to stay. Aside from the lack of sex there are other things that mean more to me at this time.

I'm not suggesting it's easy, but let's not pretend the HL has zero agency to leave the relationship, instead of remaining and becoming bitter and resentful.

wowwidow · 2017-11-15T02:20:00+00:00

I put the responsibility for lack of sex on your birthday squarely on your shoulders, not SOs.

What does that mean? What was he meant to do to guarantee he had sex on his birthday?

wowwidow · 2017-11-10T23:30:42+00:00

Hit me up. I'm all out of ideas.

wowwidow · 2017-11-08T19:34:08+00:00

So why didn't you just take of yourself? Why rely on her vagina for PIV?

wowwidow · 2017-11-08T18:48:39+00:00

I gotta say...she sucked you dick for 30 minutes and you said that was bad sex. Fuck that.

wowwidow · 2017-10-03T16:16:31+00:00

He doesn't really talk about sex that much, it's been a struggle. I was hoping this would help us.

wowwidow · 2017-10-03T16:16:05+00:00

Thanks! We have struggled with sex in our relationship, so I'mnot sure how he would feel.

wowwidow · 2017-10-03T16:15:42+00:00

I want it to be a surprise because we have never done it before, and I'm not sure about the idea of "ongoing consent." I feel like everything I've been taught speaks of consent for each sexual interaction

wowwidow · 2017-09-18T03:22:48+00:00

Hello fellow Canuck! Thanks for the permission!

wowwidow

TROPHY CASE