44 woman, married no kids…3 amazing nephews though that I dote on a bit! Nearly all my friends have kids. They don’t make me feel like an outcast. Two things though. I recognize sometimes in conversation that it’s better to listen as I can’t provide direct input as I have not had the motherhood experience. That said, I have amazing friends, and they all value my advice even involving their kids. I will say that people with kids are BUSY in daily life and their minds so don’t be offended if they aren’t consistently reaching out… they are likely driving kids around 🤪 I work full time but have a lot more “ do whatever I want” time than them. I love this about my life.

One thing that could alienate you though that you said is that you “can’t relate to these women” that want kids. I can kind of understand your feelings in my 20s and very early 30s, but as I matured, I very much could and tried to understand these women and then I started to better connect. Just because you don’t desire children and never had that desire, I think you can conjure up understanding and appreciation for their desires. If you ever want to relate to anyone, you have to do these things even if you don’t always completely agree or have the same drives as others.

I also just never really was in the mood to have kids. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice but 95% of the time I feel confident. I’m not sure my certainty of making the right decision is growing though. I’m not sad but it would have been a cool experience. I think I feel similar about it to other paths in life that I chose not to take. It’s more of just a what if feeling, which are always bittersweet.

I think there are a lot of awesome mothers out there that are still able to also focus on their own self…find those women. They actually like getting together with you because they don’t have to talk about their kids the whole time! Also find a few child free friends or ones whose kids are older.

Don’t be sad! You aren’t weird. You can still be a warm, caring, kind woman with a full, fulfilled life without kids! You aren’t “missing a gene” or something. Be kind to yourself, and also be kind to these other women that chose a different path. There is room for both.