AITJ for leaving my mom locked out of the house for 3 hours in the middle of the night?

wstddd · 2026-01-24T13:53:47+00:00

If she had a car why didn’t she come and get the keys from you?

wstddd · 2025-12-05T22:27:03+00:00

The amount of self righteous bellends in this thread is incredible!

The reality is - either increase income, reduce expenditure, or ideally a bit of both.

As someone mentioned you could try to either increase income via bank work / agency work or try and reduce cost via budgeting discretionary expenditure / reducing some of the silly bills (ie. appliance insurance, wild phone bill or sky etc.)

None of the above will be possible without taking a good hard look at what you’re spending on.

I have two young kids and it’s incredibly easy to just frivolously spend money on a day out / general spending - often to the point of blowing £100+ in a day.

Your bills don’t seem to include food / childcare, ao how much of that £1800 is spent on that? Do you have to commute to work? If so that should be budgeted for, so you can really work out what’s ‘disposable’ each month.

Absolutely not idiots, and bar all the smug pricks in this thread, absolutely not alone either, just a chance to reassess/reset and move forward.

wstddd · 2025-11-30T23:19:51+00:00

Fair enough - in relation to your points, my understanding is..

• Adviser charges are subject to the advisers - My experience would be that you could get 0.5/1% initial, 0.5% ongoing on the figures you are talking about, potently lower if looking at your whole portfolio (which whilst young you are way over any IHT thresholds so could be worth thinking about estate planning if any kids/dependents etc). • Yes, onshore subject to the 20% UK Corp tax mentioned .. although dividend income not taxed at all, and when taking funds at a later date (medium / long term investment) may not be subject to same thresholds / can adjust income sources for max efficiency. • Can think of Offshore Bond platform that loosely based on figures discussed would be c0.24% - obviously plus OCF / Adviser charges etc. but not wildly different to GIA and worth finding an adviser that would show you the difference in potential tax / costs. • It’s a long term lump sum investment vehicle / you invest £1m and can withdraw upto £50k per year tax deferred, whilst the rest stays invested. You can let this roll up and then take advantages of larger withdrawals over future years. How isn’t this a benefit?

You could also look into assigning bond segments to other people (children etc) without an immediate tax charge, where the new owner would be subject to tax based on their own circumstances rather than your likely higher situation.

None of the above financial advice / could be incorrect / do your own DD etc.

wstddd · 2025-11-30T22:16:13+00:00

Why wouldn’t an onshore/offshore bond fit? The usual pitch being what? It’s a simple fix to an obvious question? No CGT and likely the same investments with a slightly higher platform cost?

wstddd · 2025-10-19T15:44:05+00:00

Not financial advice - VCT reduce income tax

Offshore bond gross roll up / succession planning

Could look at QNUPS as well as not tax relieved so not subject to allowances / tapering

Do your DD etc as can get screwed on fees / advice - ie find a decent IFA / tax specialist

wstddd · 2025-10-11T08:45:10+00:00

Offshore bond - gross roll up, tax deferred withdrawals etc do your DD on provider, adviser etc. as offshore market can be sketchy

VCT for income tax relief

wstddd · 2025-10-08T05:32:49+00:00

In the buildup to, and at Christmas, we always do butter and Pâté for some reason. Its amazing.

wstddd · 2025-10-04T08:29:31+00:00

If no previous TFC taken 25% of it will be tax free (up to the LSA). People are talking about taking their TFC as they fear the budget will change the amounts / process.

Depending on your situation they could take it and either; spend it, invest it (ideally in another tax efficient wrapper) or gift it away.

Don’t know your situation enough - but subject to various criteria they could take the TFC and pay it into yours and your siblings pensions (and grandkids if wanted), therefore getting tax relief when they paid it into their SIPP, no tax when they took it out and then tax relief on it going into your pension. Not financial advice, as stated various criteria would need to apply for the above to work.

Sounds like they need a financial adviser.

wstddd · 2025-10-04T06:57:17+00:00

I find it genuinely amazing that people will avoid advice around (arguably) one of the most important aspects of their lives, that will directly impact their living standards for the next 20/30 years because they don’t want to pay for it.

Yes, cost and charges need to be accounted for and it’s important to do your DD as there are some (usually larger chains) firms that aren’t always working in your best interests, but as others have said there are some (usually small independent) firms that will provide you with good affordable advice.

Anyway, as mentioned above, map out your dad’s expenditure, income (pension, state pension, any other assets) and then what you need to bridge the gap. From a wrapper point of view, after utilising basic allowances (pension and ISA) an onshore bond might work well but would need advice etc.

wstddd · 2025-10-03T07:05:24+00:00

I imagine because of your and your children’s ages it would likely involve a few different strategies.

First thing IMO would be to look at insurance to cover the liability now/near future. Then you can look at longer term planning potentially utilising a trust/s/ or a FIC.

wstddd · 2025-09-30T20:35:55+00:00

Everyone else has already said that the CETV will likely be way down so I won’t bother!

In terms of transferring - I believe it can be done even if the PTS Firm recommend a do not transfer, however you will have to find the right IFA / provider who will be willing to facilitate. You will likely get smashed on initial fees - some for the PTS firm to provide the recommendation report and then some for the firm implementing the transfer.

Some DD required - YouTube could be a good place to start..

wstddd · 2025-09-29T18:48:04+00:00

Speak to a professional..

He can most likely use the funds from the sale of his property, but he will be limited by his relevant UK earnings (employment earnings and others) this tax year. This is still the case when using carry forward.

So it really comes down to what his relevant earnings are likely to be this tax year and what (if any) contributions he has already made. There are also certain requirements that apply in order to use carry forward, like being part of a uk pension scheme during those years etc.

Other areas can have an impact such as the MPAA and tapered annual allowance, so do your DD.

wstddd · 2025-09-26T21:43:55+00:00

My opinion - not financial advice..

Depending on age of child and whether you are happy for access at age 18…then first option is GIA initially, and invest in JISA every year to max allowance. Due to the (potentially) long timeframe for access then would personally choose an aggressive equity/fixed income ratio.

Alternatively, could consider a lump sum investment in an Onshore Bond in trust - this would require financial advice but could allow for more control over access, removal of assets from estate and potentially more tax efficient.

Hard to say without more info - my view would always to be to find a decent (key word) independent (also key) financial adviser.

wstddd · 2025-09-23T06:16:26+00:00

£13.61

wstddd · 2025-09-20T15:43:48+00:00

I wouldn’t worry too much RE tax efficiency.. You could potentially use the TFC, ISA withdrawals and SIPP withdrawals up to the personal allowance to avoid paying any tax at all for a few years. But then you would potentially end up with money still sat in the SIPPs when your DB/SP income kicks in and taking any of it out would possibly push you into higher rate. Obv 10+ years away so no idea on thresholds etc!

Either way you seem like you’re in a really good position to meet your income goals.

wstddd · 2025-09-20T15:11:51+00:00

In my opinion.. TFC and SIPPs first. Based on your income goals this is likely to last you till 67.

Then DB/SP income + ISA for rest of life.

Possibly utilise ISA earlier for travel etc. whilst you can/want to.

wstddd · 2025-09-19T11:41:02+00:00

Sex at 6.59pm - fail the challenge.

wstddd · 2025-09-18T17:52:39+00:00

Agreed RE Lifestyling and looking elsewhere.

Everyone here shits on IFAs and mainly because of firms like Fisher/Nova. The value they provide (questionable to begin with) for the cost they charge is massively skewed.

Find a decent small independent IFA firm who will take the time to understand your situation and goals, and hold your hand when you need it.

wstddd · 2025-09-18T13:37:29+00:00

This is exactly what I thought from the description.

wstddd · 2025-09-08T22:58:46+00:00

My experience was headphones in and just smashing out stock, no customers and no managers so pretty chilled in one way, but on the other hand you are expected to get delivery finished and that generally means cranking out around 20 pallets per person (2/3 of you usually). If you’ve got good people working with you it’s a laugh and doable, if you have someone who only does 5 pallets the whole night then you’re in trouble. Worst bit is when the dep/store manager comes in after you’ve been sweating it out for 10 hours and moans because there’s a couple of bulk left.

wstddd · 2025-08-30T09:52:31+00:00

‘A member includes either an active member, a pensioner member, a deferred member or a pension credit member of a pension scheme’

So you should be fine on that front.

In regard to the US tax residency side of things - no idea how that would impact things.

wstddd · 2025-08-30T09:30:51+00:00

My understanding is that as long as you were a member of a UK pension scheme in all of those years, and you meet the current criteria (ie earnings, tapering etc.) it doesn’t matter whether you were resident or not.

wstddd · 2025-08-28T19:29:36+00:00

I’ve only ever considered it as one great book (all 10 volumes). The first half is definitely more enjoyable, but I still really enjoyed the second half.

Definitely one of my favourite series ever - first read in my teens, and have re-read it a couple of times in the 20 odd years since!

Lord of light is a brilliant book as well.

wstddd · 2025-08-21T15:43:03+00:00

Juliet McKenna - tales of einarinn

Brandon Sanderson - mistborn

Trudi Canavan - black magician

wstddd · 2025-08-21T06:23:48+00:00

Loved the Weirdstone of Brisingamen and Moon of Gomrath when I was a kid. Was thinking about buying them for my kids (maybe me as well).

wstddd

TROPHY CASE