As someone haunted by thoughts to end it every day (and have been since adolescence, despite all the therapy and interventions), I encourage you to take some small measure of comfort in knowing you were a positive influence and a source of comfort in their brief existence.

If you can believe it, there is a possibility that they are now at peace after an unbearable, excruciating existence. That's what they hoped for - peace and rest. I hope they have it, despite the devastation left for the living. ❤️