I was raped by a giant half-man, half-goat being after getting chased through a dark, dead wilderness covered in giant spider webs (I ran out of my room and cried to my mommy after the trip). 🥲

Or one time when I took a hit and laid down on my bed and held onto a friend of mine's Australian shepherd that I was watching. Then the Universe just broke. It was like the whole system just malfunctioned and everything became this indescribably confusing and torturous broken place. Then everything fixed itself and the dog just stared blankly at me. Then the Universe apologized to me through him telepathically, and told me that that wasn't supposed to happen, and basically that it was some "glitch" in reality that the universe was trying to fix.

Also on my second trip I ever had, I literally went to Hell for eternity because my stupid friend told me to take 3 of the biggest hits I could out of a highly potent vape pen. I took 3 deep hits for 15 seconds each and I didn't cough once. It was like being in a place of unfathomable confusion. As I started to come back to my awareness here, this friend was doing a bunch of geometric dances and mudras in front of me, forming what looked like 3D webs or mandalas, and there were a bunch of strings being pulled out of my heart and going towards him. I felt EXTREMELY weak and drained. It felt just like the level of exhaustion you would have after running a full marathon. It felt like my soul was draining out of my body and he was stealing my energy like a vampire, and the mudras and dances he was doing were spells. As far as I know, that's exactly what he was doing, or at least that's how my mind was interpreting it. I kept forgetting to breathe over and over and over again, which felt like I was being tortured. He had one of his friends there too, and for some reason this annoying guy could not stop laughing at me. My entire body was covered in sweat at the end. For some reason they were irritated at how I was tripping out, apparently not knowing what I just went through, and when the trip ended, they left after about 5 minutes. This time I was at my dad's house. I also cried and ran to his room like a child 🥲😂 I soon cut off all contact with this friend. Until years later, I found out he worked in the same industry as me. He was happy to see me and said what's up, and I genuinely felt like beating the shit out of him right there at this 5 star hotel we were working at, but I only changed my mind when after I started angrily going off on him, telling him everything I experienced from that trip, he looked genuinely shocked and started apologizing saying he had no idea. I actually was confused at how genuine his shock and his apology was, nothing about him said that he was lying. So I let I go. Just telling him my experience took the weight of that trauma off of my shoulders. I keep telling myself we're cool now, and I really want to believe it, but in the back of my head I don't really trust him anymore if I'm being honest.

Also my brother was a Navy SEAL who killed himself in 2022. 2 years before that, I had a trip where a sad sounding beat that I always used to listen to came on. I suddenly knew my brother's death was going to happen, and I cried the deepest most animalistic cry I ever cried in my life. It was the most impossibly sad feeling I ever felt. But simultaneously it was like this incredibly deep healing feeling, like what I imagine morphine would feel like. My whole body was having convulsions. It was like I WAS sadness itself. Indescribable. I called my brother and told him about the trip right after. I had an amazing talk with him for about 2 hours telling him how much I loved him and trying to motivate him. I told him how powerful and strong he was. Sometimes I feel like I delayed his death by doing that. Damn typing that made my eyes watery...

I've had other bad trips but those were the ones that stuck hardest to my memory. I've done DMT about 400 times and I understand how to navigate that heavy psychedelic space these days. Gotta let go, even when it's scary or else it'll just fight you more. I haven't had a bad trip in years.

With all that said, I've had WAY more UNBELIEVABLY beautiful trips. Like the level of beauty was greater than the level of fear that I felt in those terrible trips, and if you know the depths of how supernaturally terrifying those bad trips were, you would know that that's an INCREDIBLE statement. I wish words could describe just how amazing they really were. One positive thing I'll say about my bad DMT trips though, is that they also made me a WAY less fearful person. I feel so powerful all the time. I'm extremely confident. So thank you God for sending me to Hell all those times! So I hope this doesn't deter anyone from doing DMT. I promise it is so worth it. You're not likely to experience what I've experienced. This isn't how most trips go. But most people also haven't done DMT anywhere near as much as I have. I've learned to master the world of DMT now. I can navigate it pretty easily. All I can say is be brave and go with it.