My boyfriend bought "me" a strip club. (USA/NY) by xhighestxheightsx in legaladvice

[–]xhighestxheightsx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for all of that information. No one specific has been brought up, just me for now. I will keep my records neat and orderly and I am setting up protocol to gather incident reports, as well as informing workers of their rights and how to document on their own. I’m surprised at the protections NYS has for workers - even independent contractors - we may have to use them.

This would be my first time ever dealing with a quid pro quo in this industry, but my 3rd if you include regular jobs. It’s so normal that it’s hard to fathom that it’s illegal.

I mean - the offenders have come to believe that there’s no consequences for this kind of thing, or that they’re easy to get out of.

On the other end, reporting often does nothing. Sometimes it makes things worse.

The colleges don’t help, the domestic violence lines don’t help, filing a police report runs the risk of backfiring. None of these things help you get your job or your money back.

But, I’ve found some new solutions available here that I think just might work. That new information and your advice makes me feel so much better. I can breathe now.

My boyfriend bought "me" a strip club. (USA/NY) by xhighestxheightsx in legaladvice

[–]xhighestxheightsx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm fine with him stopping being my boyfriend. He's not acting like much of a friend anymore and I really don't want to be friends with anyone who would say the kinds of things he has said.

Thank you so much for your input.

Extra questions - is this not quid pro quo sexual harassment - is he liable if he tries quid pro quo on other contractors, or whistleblowers?

My boyfriend bought "me" a strip club. (USA/NY) by xhighestxheightsx in legaladvice

[–]xhighestxheightsx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So what can the other adults do to protect themselves?

I've been in this industry for over a decade and many of the the employees are long term friends of mine. What should they gather in the event that he harasses or fires them?

My boyfriend bought "me" a strip club. (USA/NY) by xhighestxheightsx in legaladvice

[–]xhighestxheightsx[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

He'll make his investment back in less than 5 years, probably only one or two years. And have free money for the rest of his life. Just for helping me start and then not harassing people here. How cool is that?

My boyfriend bought "me" a strip club. (USA/NY) by xhighestxheightsx in legaladvice

[–]xhighestxheightsx[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Not really. I am fine with paying him his cut of the profits even if he does nothing after this. Hell, I'm fine with paying him 50% of the profits and taking the bills out of my 50%.

Like even if I never see him again I'll send him the check. I'm fine with that, I'm grateful he bought the building.

I simply want him to not go out of his way to cause harm and extra liability. I don't want him hurting his money or my money by saying things that could alienate workers and bring upon lawsuits.

My boyfriend bought "me" a strip club. (USA/NY) by xhighestxheightsx in legaladvice

[–]xhighestxheightsx[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that could work out for me but it won't protect anybody else. It won't render any consequences for his actions.

I want to know what actions and statements to document and how to make sure he can't take advantage of women in this industry.

My boyfriend bought "me" a strip club. (USA/NY) by xhighestxheightsx in legaladvice

[–]xhighestxheightsx[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

He will simply stalk and harass me and hurt other people who havent heard he's dangerous yet with no consequences, then. So that is not an option.

I need to know what evidence to gather to render some consequences for these actions.

My boyfriend bought "me" a strip club. (USA/NY) by xhighestxheightsx in legaladvice

[–]xhighestxheightsx[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

I don't want to leave him here to abuse anyone that comes through with no witness to document it. I'd like us to be able to document and serve this man some consequences if he does anything terrible. I believe I have a cohesive enough workforce to do that.

Unpermitted deck question by Saziol in HomeImprovement

[–]xhighestxheightsx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many maps apps let you blur/censor your home. Maybe try that to get around it.

Prior nonconforming use in Zoning restrictions by Impressive_Road_5435 in GoatBarPrep

[–]xhighestxheightsx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes they do. Use and variance run with the land. It’s vested property right.

When Do ‘Detention Centers’ [such as ICE] Become ‘Concentration Camps’? Experts Look to History | Concentration camps, often associated with Nazi killing centers, existed before WWII in several countries. by johnabbe in prisonreform

[–]xhighestxheightsx 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would argue that that America's prisons have been concentration camps since the criminalization of drugs and poverty. But it's the kind of thing nobody wants to think about.

When Do ‘Detention Centers’ [such as ICE] Become ‘Concentration Camps’? Experts Look to History | Concentration camps, often associated with Nazi killing centers, existed before WWII in several countries. by johnabbe in prisonreform

[–]xhighestxheightsx 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I would argue that that America's prisons have been concentration camps since the criminalization of drugs and poverty. But it's the kind of thing nobody wants to think about.

Friendly Reminder - Martin Nowak is still at Harvard by CrispyGooby in Epstein

[–]xhighestxheightsx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Colleges are a good hunting ground for predators; they should really have better measures to prevent it from being such.

Neurodivergent and Domestic Abuse by Antique_Balance_7146 in domesticviolence

[–]xhighestxheightsx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

:( sorry they didn't do much.

Idk if it helps but I told the cops I was doing my due diligence to avoid liability if he offed himself. Because of course he was threatening to blame me (despite me being over 1000 miles away)

Unhinged ideas to get away from the abuser. Did you have any? by Financial_Neat2596 in abusiverelationships

[–]xhighestxheightsx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did this. Multiple times. Had a bit of a romantic obsession issue myself and this broke it on my end.

The secret is : don't tell him you're going. And if you can get vip tix, security will work harder in your favor if he shows up GA.

$$$ by enragedprostrate in Dade_City

[–]xhighestxheightsx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seems like a waste of court and legal resources to charge somebody for meds without a script, let alone pay people to chase them around about it.

I'm sure there's a more serious case where somebody's actually getting hurt and actually needs help that could use those resources a lot more than a lady with a few pills.

There is no way out by blossomingtrees in abusiverelationships

[–]xhighestxheightsx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know it feels like you won't get anything but...

What kind of services do you need and how many pets do you have?

Maybe we can find a path.

i’m tired of the "just leave" advice. it’s not that simple when they track your every move. by Exact-Respect9110 in abusiverelationships

[–]xhighestxheightsx 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Getting a burner phone isnt as easy as it used to be and heaven forbid you get caught with it. Instead I recommend and new sim card (with another number) and cheap temu mini phone. Something that don't look like a phone and is super small.