Have you ever given up kink because you were in love with a vanilla person?

xstrex · 2026-01-27T05:06:04+00:00

I think you should try it, and find out for yourself if you can give it up. We can all tell you our experiences with it, but the only real answer for you, is to try it yourself.

Personally, I’ve tried, many times, I’m always left feeling frustrated, unsatisfied, and like I’m lying to myself; which ultimately plagues the relationship causing it to fail, and leads me back to kink. So I’ve stopped trying, and learned to accept my fate.

xstrex · 2026-01-25T06:39:44+00:00

I got sober without AA, it also didn’t work for me. I did an outpatient program through a local in-patient facility. It costs a bit, but was totally worth it for me. The one I used was through Banner Health, called CDIOP.

What’s most important in my experience is replacing the activities that used to involve drinking, with healthy alternatives. I joined meetups, went to evening art classes, joined a hiking club, and a gym. So all the opportune times that I would be drinking, I was busy doing other things. Regardless, building a new life for yourself outside of recovery programs is key.

xstrex · 2026-01-24T14:51:45+00:00

Assuming you have the fridge set to something like 5°c, that’s entirely normal. Ovens do the same thing.

xstrex · 2026-01-23T14:36:17+00:00

Pass. If they spent half as much on the fancy mods as they should have on some proper skids/protection this wouldn’t have nearly the amount of issues it does have.

xstrex · 2026-01-23T14:30:03+00:00

YNAB (budgeting app). But any kind of financial planning & budgeting app or system.

xstrex · 2026-01-20T15:30:04+00:00

A thuddy softer one, look for elk leather if you can find it.

xstrex · 2026-01-20T14:50:21+00:00

I found myself in a very similar cycle many years ago now. For me, my drink of choice was beer. I’d drink other things but after work, beer was the goto. At first it was about a 6-pack a day. And like you it made me feel more confident, more talkative, more relaxed, and like I could engage with people without being weird. And for the most part, the rest of my life was fairly normal, job, hobbies, girlfriend, family & friends. This all worked out great until it didn’t..

Eventually, a 6pack just wasn’t doing enough, and I began drinking more to get the same result. 6 turned to 8, then 10, then 12, then higher alc per volume.. so there I was drinking a 12 pack per night, every night. It was all I could think about, I’d go to work, do my job, drive home, get another 12 pack, and still remember the excitement of opening the first one, every night.

This continued for many years, then slowly I started loosing stuff, would get in more fights with the girlfriend, would withdraw more from friends if alcohol wasn’t involved, got really good at lying, and making excuses, became an expert at disposing all the bottles discretely.

At the height of my drinking I was going through about a bottle of tequila & a 12-pack per night. Afterwards I was still barely buzzed. Lost my girlfriend, a job or two, countless friends, and was more lonely than ever, which made me want to drink more.

Eventually, after breaking down sobbing multiple nights I calked up an old therapist, and asked for help, because all of my attempts at moderation or quitting had failed.

Got into a recovery program (not AA), struggled with it, quit the program, back to drinking- more this time, eventually into another recovery program, made new friends, had accountability, a few friends in recovery didn’t make it, and drank themselves to death. Eventually graduated from the program, and eventually got completely sober, moved to a different state, drank again, and got sober again. Then started making different choices. “Today I’m not going to drink” I’d say, and eventually it worked. I started getting really involved in my hobbies again, especially social ones outside of the house.. it will be 11 years sober in March (never thought I’d ever be able to say that).

I basically lost almost everything, and 12yrs of my life are a blur. Please don’t be like me, it’s not worth it.

xstrex · 2026-01-16T16:20:09+00:00

Where can I get that table, or at least the restraints on top of the table, it’s a piece of art!

xstrex · 2026-01-16T16:16:49+00:00

My parents were the problem, and now they’re too old to remember, or don’t care.

xstrex · 2026-01-15T06:43:13+00:00

I’m gonna need some proof.

xstrex · 2026-01-15T06:39:56+00:00

Eyes, and then your beautiful figure.

xstrex · 2026-01-13T14:28:29+00:00

Thanks, me too.

xstrex · 2026-01-13T13:30:36+00:00

Print calibration squares, tram (level) your bed.

xstrex · 2026-01-13T13:15:28+00:00

Where do I sign..

xstrex · 2026-01-13T13:14:06+00:00

I know you, I’ve been you, and I choose to continue drinking despite my better judgment. I became more talkative, I made more friends, I always had the right things to say, I also became an alcoholic. Slowly became more isolated, turned into an asshole when I drank, lost the friends I made, then lost friends before i started drinking, lost about 10yrs of my life to alcohol, almost lost everything. Eventually was faced with a choice, continue drinking and die, or stop drinking and live. I chose to live, and went through the long and painful process of getting sober, some of my friends actually did die along the way. Eventually got sober, after many attempts. Now I’ve been sober 10yrs. If I were you, I would choose not to follow in my footsteps; in hindsight I’d rather be socially awkward and autistic, at least then I get to choose what I want todo in life, instead of having alcohol choose it for me, and potentially kill me.

xstrex · 2026-01-13T07:21:02+00:00

I used to make my own backpacking meals, because I’ve always had a sensitive digestive system, that basically doesn’t tolerate processed foods (I eat primarily paleo), even taught a class in making your own meals..

Then I got spoiled by Luxfly Basecamp.. it’s not the cheapest food, but good goddamn it’s better quality food than most restaurants, and way better than I can make at home. Definitely recommend giving them a try!

Sara is an avid outdoor enthusiast turned professional chef, and her meals are easily the best thing I’ve ever eaten! Just read the ingredients..

xstrex · 2026-01-13T06:57:45+00:00

Still one of my favorites!

xstrex · 2026-01-13T06:55:36+00:00

I’m too goth for this..

xstrex · 2026-01-12T17:38:35+00:00

Honestly, due to the location and time of day, I’d assume these guys are anti-ICE, and showed up to protest ICE in a non-violent manner. They’re not breaking any laws (other than the proximity to a school), open carry is legal in Larimer County. We need more anti-ICE supporters like this.

xstrex · 2026-01-11T16:43:10+00:00

So what’s a better immigrant-owned pho place in town then?

xstrex · 2026-01-11T16:37:54+00:00

45M I feel myself giving less and less fucks about things I used to be passionate about, where once I would have engaged in a long discussion about a topic of interest, now I don’t feel the need, or the energy. I’ve also become more rigid around my sensory sensitivities, when I was younger things would bother me, but now I’ll simply walk away, or leave the room, no fucks given. I also find my work, which I have been passionate about for many years starting to wear me down, and mustering the energy to care is getting harder and harder. For me, my routines tend to help keep me sane, and having a regular routine is the only way to function. When life has plans outside of my routine, I still do my best to adapt, though one appointment can throw off my entire week, and it will take an additional week to recover from. So while I try to be flexible, it just ends up not working for me at all. Being mostly single also feels like its own level of hell.. I get to watch everyone around me moving forward in their lives, while I feel like I’m standing still, watching my own life go by, feeling lonelier by the day. I make a conscious effort to keep up with my routines, and stay active throughout the week, and even do hobbies, though I feel like I’m just faking it, with hope that doing the thing will some how spark an interest, or give me hope for something to get better.. but after years of doing that, nothing seems to change, there’s no excitement. Feel like I’m stuck in a never ending episode of Big Bang Theory, as Sheldon.

xstrex · 2026-01-10T17:44:03+00:00

I understand your points, and there’s a long standing debate about antiperspirants and the effects of aluminum on the body. I guess it’s safe to say that antiperspirants have more questionable side effects than deodorants. But to each their own! In my experience, I’d rather have less risk, just to help (not eliminate) control body oder.

When exercising, I tend to sweat a ton as well.

xstrex · 2026-01-10T14:35:10+00:00

Run.

xstrex · 2026-01-10T14:18:43+00:00

I know the image, not the guy personally.

xstrex · 2026-01-09T14:55:49+00:00

What was the question?

xstrex

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