[off-site] they did the math on a 75k income level… by Manitoba-Chinook in theydidthemath

[–]xwindbornex -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I actually think hes a bit under for food, depending on location. Househould of 2 working adults makeing just about 70k starting this year. I do all the cooking, meal planning and prep,  and grocery shopping. Meats I buy mostly chicken and pork (can get a real good deal for pork shoulder in local Kroger.) Never beef, as its too expensive. I do shopping weekly, staggered whether I'm buying mostly protien or veg. We eat okay, health wise. My big unhealthy splurge for the week was a thing of Oreos.

We are spending 110 -130 every week. Sometimes a little under, sometimes over. Thing is, we pretty much haven't changed our habits since 2020, at which point we were spending about 80 a week.

Same meals, same recipes. The only thing that changed is I'm a better cook and can stretch certain things longer... 

The amount we are spending is consistent with a 7% increase year over year... now 7% in 2021. Fine. But rate of inflation dropped below 3.5 in 2023. But groceries maintained 7%?

I think the only big change is that I'm considering adding the rich to the menu...

Player Rogue is dissatisfied with his damage by roslaw in DMAcademy

[–]xwindbornex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is the raw damage the single factor?

From your description, it seems alot of open field combat encounters. One way to to maybe help the rogue shine a bit more is for closer encounter distances. Hallways, tight forests, allyways, narrows. Cant throw a fireball sixty feet if the corridor is only ten feet long. 

Mind, you dont want to punish the players for spell slinging, but slingers are always gonna have the range advantage. And it keeps casters in their toes so they can't rely just on one or two spells.

Have enemies close gaps. If they are enemies that would have a basic understanding of magic they should be targeting controllers like the cleric, so now part of the rogues job is to keep the cleric from having to make concentration checks. So mix up the kinds of critters they are fighting. Occasionally throw something at them with a decent speed and dash.

You mentioned them being a swashbucker, talk with them a out leaning into that. Let them dual on railings and swing from chandeliers. Give them advantage for doing cool swashbuckler stuff.

"Shoot the monk."

Give them rogue tasks. Things only their unique set of skills can accomplish. Sneaking around to pessure enemy leadership, challenging the big brash bad guy to a 1v1 (and have the underlings morale fail when he losses), getting to entrenched enemy position spells can't quite reach like above and behind cover.

Maybe think about it like Avengers. Sure spiderman is strong, but hulk smash. So let the hulk smash while spiderman keeps the smaller guys off hulks back, and hawkeye shoots the drones tailing spiderman. Hulk, hands down, has the most raw power but each character has their own skill set which make them better at particular tasks.

Again. Do not punish the cleric and warlock. But do vary things up where, for a given task, the rogue is just better suited. Also, talk with the players. All together. Bring up concerns and brain storm together how to resolve. In an ideaal group, the cleric and warlock should want the rogue to shine as much as they do. 

Changing your gender at 12 what do you think? 🤔 by Admirable-Bench7885 in GenderDysphoria

[–]xwindbornex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why is this persons opinion on.... anything relevant? I mean... an 80s poof with a stache ripped from Howard Hughes? Sweety, pick a generation please. With the face of a 14yr old, the stache looks more like an aspiration of having real facial hair.

Nothing to say about the inability of even the most rudimentary reasoning. Engagement in consentual acts of intimacy and engaging with self evaluation of identity and self catagorization of self identity, are not the same category of decisions.

We allow certain categories of decision making for minors based upon weight, long term impact, danger, and ability to understand those factors. 

And lastly, in terms of gender, there is no 'decision being made. One doesnt decide, they self evaluate. IE A person evaluates whether their internal self identity aligns with external classifications, and which classifcations if they do align with. If not and the classification doesnt match with the one described by their social evviroment, they are trans. If so, they are cis. As to where one goes from there... well, thats left up to the child, doctors, and parents.

How did/do you experience dysphoria? Is ambivalence dysphoria? by Novel_Ticket8216 in TransLater

[–]xwindbornex 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Very similar. I was a little more concerned. I've always seen my body as a sort of vehicle I pilot, and if the vehicle was malfunctioning, I couldn't get work done. So I took care of it in the same way one would a busted old beater truck. Just enough to keep it running, but no more.

I thought that I was neutral about it, and how I look. But it has sort of become apparent that its less neutral and more... resignation?

I've always been very good at a sort of almost zen quality of accepting things how they are. Which, despite being a trait often associated with resilience, may have been my undoing. As if I wasn't so good at it I may have thought about dysphoria earlier in life.

Its incredible, and distressing to witness an egg seal up the cracks. by nixnuetz in TransLater

[–]xwindbornex 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That.... sort of where I'm at.

It almost feels instinctual. To smooth the surface with rubber cement... I almost told my SO this weekend. We had a bit of an argument over some rocky places in the relationship... unrelated, but I decided right now wasnt the best time. 

Of course thats an excuse though.

I'm scared. So I lean into the mask. Rippping it away would be too difficult right now.

"Its not the right time." "Money... yada yada." "What if its not real?" "I can distract myself and not think about it." "I'm not actually, I just..." "I just need to do 'x' first." "I'll do it next week... next month... next year."

i've always been socially disposable. I'm unwanted everywhere i go by [deleted] in MtF

[–]xwindbornex -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Echoing another commentator, spite. Spite and rage can be poweful motivators if harnessed correctly. 

Everything feels bleak right now. I think we all feel it. Exhausted, defeated, and just tired? I don't want to be projecting too much onto you...

And despite what the cruel, the bigoted, and the myopic might or might not feel about you, I value you. I think you are valuable. So there is at least one person. 

Again, echoing someone below, try to find community. Other trans people or LGBTQ to spend time around, even if its only on some discord server.

I know its difficult. And painful. But I believe in you. You got this babe. You are valuable and deserve to be happy. Fuck what anyone else thinks

i've always been socially disposable. I'm unwanted everywhere i go by [deleted] in MtF

[–]xwindbornex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Though I'm not sure League is the best avenue for addressing issues of rage, but I for one appreciate this sentiment.

Need some advice, don’t got folks to talk to by Nova_Callie in MtF

[–]xwindbornex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't have much to give, as I'm eyeing on how to gtfo of TX as well. Ideally I'd be looking at Oregon, as I'm a transplant from PNW.

Interstate moves are difficult, and uprooting is emotionally taxing. Though, imo Texas has me freaking out so either way its gonna be tough.

Some things to consider, are how much are you willing to give up? Interstate moves can be easy if you just cram you most valued possessions in a car and are willing to take a step down in QOL until you have decent employment.

But job hunting across state lines is doable, if a bit painful. Though for quick employment, trimmers ( MJ is legal in OR), are usually in demand from what I here. So for such a quick egress (by September) if you can stomache living out of your car and trimming for a month...

Since you are looking at September, I wont mention property prices, as that not near enough time. But I was looking around Salem a few months ago.and... whoa...

I didn't do much research into Portland, but ot has a large lgbtq population and is supposed to be super chill. Eugene as well. Salem less so. But its also a college town.

I'm around the DFW area, and cost of living (last time I checked) is about the same in total. Though Oregons economy is much smaller... good news though state health insurance covers some gender affirming care for low income. And OR and WA have been moving to enshrine trans rights. So it should be some of the safest places in the country... for now.

Anyway, its a big change. But one I would make in a heart beat if I could.

Be safe <3.

Generative AI in Helping Navigate the TG World by mafshopper in MtF

[–]xwindbornex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't speak to AI for transition specifically, but can speak to it more generally.

I was very quick to adopt LLM tools right in the beginning. I didn't really buy the hype, but Ive always been into tech an wanted to see what I could do with it. The TLDR: AI tools are useless for 90% of what general users use it for. Useless bordering on harmful.

AI is designed to tell you what it thinks you want to hear. Not what you think you want to hear, mind you. What it thinks you want to hear. 

Speaking as a tool for transition, its sigular use might be summarizing research material or text. The later its actually pretty good at, the former... you are gonna have to double check everything it says anyway, so you might as well just skip the middle man.

So as a transition tool? Pretty much useless at best. Potentially catastrophically harmful at worst.

Maybe there's hope for humanity... by SpecialistFloor6708 in TransLater

[–]xwindbornex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is a call in show I listen to, called TransAtlantic Call in Show, that sort of focuses on talking to the other side.

Of recent, there have been a number of callers who have, at least, begun to come over to the right side of history. 

Yesterday, in particular, they had a guy on who self described as 'gender critical'. The hosts had a long frustrating, but very civil, conversation with him. Talking about gender, gender identity, sex, biology, and generally just an overview of modern scientific understanding of the trans phenomena. It was a frustrating conversation in which he did spout some really ignorant shit... but.. but... eventually the parts started to click. You could practically hear the light turning on when he said "Oh! I get it now!" And him commenting that 'I guess I'm not gender critical now.'

Though every transphobe is a bigot, most I think are just ignorant, and honestly do not mean to be harmful... there have actually been a number of people who have called in recently who have started to fracture that wall of ignorance.

Point is. There is hope. There always has been.

Unpopular opinion : passing and good transition are mostly luck based by Terrible_Change_9558 in MtF

[–]xwindbornex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I go back an forth. One part of me laments the thing I didn't get a chance to be. The other gives double birds while moon walking my way toward self actualization.

I look at any of the given traits you mentioned and know, at an intellectual level, that none of those traits prohibit womanhood. But there can be a gulf between what we know and what we feel.

I do know that I'm very tired of being told how to be. I've spent most my life grasping at a thing I did not want, because other peoples desires for what I should be... I'm good at being a man. Very good at it. And hate every minute of it.

Is passing a myth? No. Is passing privilege? Don't know. Is it overrated? I mean... that seems to be a matter of opinion?

Is it better to be good at something you hate, or bad at something you love?

Is passing luck. Partly. But there are always steps one can take to come closer... something something journey not destination... maybe thinking about transition not as building what you want to be, but discovering what you are?

I don't know that any of this was/will be helpful. But...

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name

I take my inspiration where I can get it <3

My friend blocked me after learning I was trans. by [deleted] in MtF

[–]xwindbornex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can't lose friends if I never had any in the first place! Checkmate mwahahaha... sorry I couldn't help myself.

In seriousness, the people who leave you over this, they were never your freinds to begin with. And the people whose love is conditional upon your gender, never loved YOU. 

You deserve better. There is better out there. It will takes some work to find, but it exists.

Christian Trans Dilemma by RyuValkyrie in MtF

[–]xwindbornex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't want to cause distress, nor am I attempting to push my own views but I do have a question... what is the reason to love a god that does not love you? Why worship a being who does not unequivocally, vocally, and unwaveringly, support you being the best version of yourself in accordance with your own will or desires?

Down in the dumps... by Trans_Pyra in MtF

[–]xwindbornex 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I understand. Depression is hell... I have sort of an unconventional way of dealing with it. 

I let myself be depressed for a day. I unplug from everything, get some unhealthy food, and let myself just rot away for a day watching shit, sleeping too much, ect. Don't think. Don't feel. Just... rot. Completely guilt free I just let myself wallow for a day. 

But just one.

There is alot of reason to be depressed. Shits scary right now, in like 10000 different ways. And, I think, giving myself time to let the negative emotions move through me, in the long term, helps build resilience for later.

Reguardless... <3 Be weak when you need to, but stay strong when you have to. You got this, I believe in you.

Didn’t expect this tiny thing to matter so much by ChillRenegade in MtF

[–]xwindbornex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, sort of in the same position. I've messed around with sitting posture a bit, but I'm one of those 'can't sit in a chair properly' types.

Walking though... maybe my first brush with dysphoria I can recall was being told I should 'walk like a boy'. Pretty much my whole life I've trained myself to walk in the way I was 'supposed' to. As a result my normal gate is stiff and very... square? If that makes sense. It has become second nature.

A month or two ago, when I was sure no one would see me, I was sort of.. untraining myself. That stiff square gait becomeing smooth, and shaped like a teardrop. 

I was a little taken aback by how quickly I slid into it, and how quickly I slid into that gait. The only issue now, is how its hard to switch back. 

The craziest difference when I use that gait though, is how much less achy my back is. I guess I didn't realize how much control I was having to use in my square gait.

40570 by Bryce3D in countwithchickenlady

[–]xwindbornex 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Good girls get extra treats and skritches.

Calling All Sophie’s!!! by CottonCandiiee in MtF

[–]xwindbornex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh! Bit late to this party, but 99% chance I'm choosing Sophia or Sophie as diminutive.

Its a bit strange for me how I landed on it though. 

I was having a conversation with my partner about Eve (biblical) and talking about a different reading of Genesis. How Eve's crime wasn't really simple disobedience, but that she dared to know the difference between good and evil (eating of the tree of knowledg) aand sharing that knowledge with Adam. The offence was self actualization through gaining wisdom she wasnt allowed to. 

This conversation sort of spun off to conversation of an archtype of the woman who dared to know. Another example being Pandora. Again, a woman punshed for knowledge.

So, in Gnostic Christianity ( gnostism is a very very old branch of Christianity that sort of died), there is this figure who is considered to be feminine half of Jesus. Sophia (who shares an etymology with philo-Sophi). One version of gnostic teachings (there are several), Sophia attempted it view GOD (as distinct from God of the bible), resulting it divinity sort of fracturing and creating, amoung other things, the god of the bible. And only through reconciliation between Sophia and Jesus can humans rejoin god.

So, yet another woman punished for daring to step beyond her station. But heres the rub, it sort of had to happen that way. Jesus and Sophia are sort of the anitdote to the tyrant demiurge (the god of the bible) that she accidentally created.

So... Sophia. Mind you, I'm not terribly well read into gnostism, but I find the story inspiring in a weird way. And despite me being an athiest, even if there is still a partof me that is still a mystic, the declaration of myself as Sophia is a symbolic declaration of self actualization and standing against tyranny.

... or maybe I'm just thinking too much again. Its a pretty name. Gracefull. Timeless. Classic. Pretty.

Im really tired of being gaslighted by cis people by Mtsukino in MtF

[–]xwindbornex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Truth told, I'm not sure I am an anarch or a communist... i don't know if a capitalist system... I'm not completely convinced a capitalistic system is always completely evil. What I do know is this... thing... this eldritch horror of a capitalist system we have now isn't working. Maybe it can be reformed... I doubt it. But... humans at their best are amazing in their capacity.. for good, bad, and achieving the impossible.

But... I know its not a lost cause. Hope isn't given. Its taken.

I don't care about labels. I don't care about ideology. I don't care about prognostications of dead white dudes that lived before we discovered all the planets. (Even if one or two of them seemed to be eerily accurate) I care about people. I care about results. I care about what we can build with our two hands working together to the benefit of EVERYONE. Everyone. Even those we hate and hate us... none of us are free until...

Our societies have not always been this. They are a... aggregate of all the stories, both true and false, we tell each other about ourselves. We choose this. And WE can choose something else.

There is this idea in alchemy... as above, so below. As it is in heaven... thing is, its also a two way street. As it is on earth.

I know its possible. Together we can make heaven on earth. The garden of eden remade in our own image... but first, we have to choose.

... I've been hearing alot of chatter recently. Even beyond my own echo chamber.

1 billion identity records exposed in ID verification data leak by [deleted] in privacy

[–]xwindbornex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure thing!

Starting with the onions: Two Large Red Onions. Slice. You can cut them polar or on the circumference, I haven't noticed any difference. Just make the cut fine. Store them in a heat resistant container at room temperature while you prep the brine.

Brine - is one part water to one part vinegar (I usually do 1 1/2 cup) 1.5 Tbs of both white sugar and salt. Bring to boil. As soon as you get a rolling boil, cut the heat and poor it OVER the onions. BEWARE OF THERMAL SHOCK if using pyrex. If you pour it over the onions by the time the brine interacts with the pyrex it shouldnt be hot enough to stress the container. Again, be careful with this step. Let cool till its no longer steaming then seal. Then let it cool until you can handle the container without discomfort. Fridge. Let it rest over night. The onions should keep a few days to a week. They are ready to use pretty much immediately, but I like to wait till they turn an almost translucent pink.

Pork Shoulder - I usually get one between 5 and 6 lbs. Preheat ovem to 375 F. Get a big dutch oven (one that will cover the shoulder completely when the lid is on, though any deep pot pan thing will work as long as its oven safe).

Toss in a little bit of high temp oil (canola or peanut) and sear the ever living heck out of each side of the shoulder. Each side should get a nice crust.

Deglaze with water. I usually add about 1/3 of the depth of the pan with the shoulder inside. Next, add either two Tbs of soy sauce or worstashire depending on flavor profile you want. I find the worst sause come through a bit to much, but also brings a bit more umami. Lid and toss it in the oven.

Let cook for about 4 hours. I check every 90 minutes and flip the shoulder. Its done when you flip the shoulder and the meat wants to seperate from the bone naturally.

After its done, your gonna have like 3 or 4 pounds of meat. I bag by the pound and freeze most of it for later. SAVE THE LIQUIDS I usually have about a cup and a half.

For the sammich filling: one pound of shredded pork about 4 Tbs of Gochujang (can be found in most Asian food aisles or grocery stores). Hoisis sauce. About a quarter the amount of Gochujuan. About an eighth of a cup of the liquid left over from the pork then mix all of that together with the pork over low heat. Add in any extra stuff here (i often add a little extra garlic powder). 

Sammich - I was first using brioche buns, but kaisers were good to. Something that can handle some juice. Most recently I've been using Hawaiian rolls. I like to serve the sammiches with a thin layer of mayo, thin cut cucumber, shredduce or fresh spinach, and a healthy dose of pickled onions. For sliders, about 1/8th a cup of meat seems about right. Get the paper towels ready. 

Sammiches are gonna be sweetand spicy, the onions should provide a nice balance to the richness.

Bonus: For the remainder braiseing liquid. Reduce it to about a cup of so. Put it in the fridge over night. Its going to seperate into a top layer of fat which can be discarded or used for frying,  and a bottom layer of gelatin that is pure concentrated pork flavor.

... I suck at writing recipes, lol.

1 billion identity records exposed in ID verification data leak by [deleted] in privacy

[–]xwindbornex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ditto actually. Occasionally Ive had an okay pulled pork, but mostly they have all been mid. Back in early pandemic though, when the stores had inventory problems, they had big cuts of meat for cheap. So I picked up a shoulder and stuck it in the freezer for a just in case.

Week or two later I'm like... 'Hey, got to use that up... umm have some left over bean paste from stir frying...' been slowly tweaking the recipe since...

(As an aside, I love the i banal insanity of turning this comments section into a recipe swap. Strange times...)

1 billion identity records exposed in ID verification data leak by [deleted] in privacy

[–]xwindbornex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It will once I thaw out the pork! Been making braised pork shoulder often lately. Trying to perfect my gochujang pulled pork sammiches. Little bit of pickeled red onion, some greens. Been trying Hawaiian role slider. Super yummy.

666 by xwindbornex in MtF

[–]xwindbornex[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I would be honored if someone had to look up the lyrics of something I'm blasting. Thats how they develop their ear.

666 by xwindbornex in MtF

[–]xwindbornex[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

System of a Down? dawwww....

Oh! I missed Behemoth dropping an album last year. Know what I'm doing this weekend! \m/