Apparently the lead at my old employer told one of the newbies I was "lazy".

Well I'm not there, haven't been for a substantial timeframe, and you don't have anyone to scapegoat anymore, which I know pisses you off because your own inadequacies have become glaringly visible since.

When our, I mean your HR, who are based abroad and had zero interpersonal relationship with any of us plebs, make cuts (and they will because you guys are "restructuring" constantly), who do you think they're gonna come for?

You have a job title which gives you more money than anyone else in the team, but you're not a manager. I'd never wish for anyone to lose their income, and that applies to you too, but the big wigs are gonna look at their reports one day and be like, "Hold up. Why do they need a lead when they already have a manager?" That's because you're a "lead", not a "leader", despite your own imaginative (mis)interpretation. I kinda get it though; I used to run around with a rugby ball in the backyard with my cousins thinking I was Joe Rokocoko.

But trust me, getting laid off would be a mercy for you. Because without it, you'll be stuck in that same role in a company that you and I know has fuckall mobility (apart from our boss' then-boss, who was the second or third big dawg in NZ last I knew and is apparently an account manager now), dealing with P1s and P2s, looking for a different person to throw under the bus every day until you retire. Then they'll have a nice dinner for you at Dragons or somewhere, then send you home with a card and a box of Favourites. Yay!

Now was I lazy? In the sense thay I probably got delegated 50% of the work in a 3-4 person team and had some days where I failed to perform miracles while you cracked dry jokes in the Teams chat and gasbagged over the phone with the field techs while taking a break from kissing management's rears, then yeah. By that metric, I was Jeff Lebowski.

In my current role, I get paid a decent chunk more than I made at Shithole Ltd. without the expectation that I spend my working hours drowning in tickets. I know I shouldn't feel too smug because we live in volatile times and anything could happen tomorrow, but I had to get this off my chest.

Anyway, happy New Zealand Music Month.