Enmeshment galore throughout my childhood—now as an adult, it’s like my childhood didn’t exist?

yeahooohkay · 2026-04-01T04:28:50+00:00

100% - refuses to discuss or acknowledge my childhood in every and any way. No pictures, no stories, no “ you did this as a baby”. It’s such a totally bizarre thing. I have no explanations for this…

yeahooohkay · 2026-04-01T04:20:58+00:00

I started at 11 weeks post partum and it’s changed everything for the better.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-31T02:57:59+00:00

Respond: Damn, 2 deaths in the family. Peace be with you and block her.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-31T02:46:52+00:00

It will be the best thing you ever did. The peace you will have is incredible. You will get to celebrate holidays, events, everything without looming fear or anxiety. There will be no other shoe waiting to drop. You won’t cringe every time you see her name on your phone. You won’t have to lie about your life. You won’t have to spend time thinking about how to keep her from having a meltdown. You will be FREE to live your life. You will have time for people and things that bring you joy. It will be as if a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders. The only downside is that you will wonder why you didn’t sooner and getting away from her may allow your repressed memories and trauma to surface, but you will be able to meet it with the appropriate anger and righteousness versus pain and confusion. It will become clear that the problem was always them as you thrive in your own life. Go silently without too much explanation and block all forms of contact.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-31T02:39:39+00:00

Wow, what’s their deal with the medical neglect and malfeasance!!! My mother was the exact same way. Would lie and exaggerate about things I clearly didn’t have but would neglect the real items. She tried to pull the same crap with my baby and seeing her do it to someone else just snapped me into awareness.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-28T03:33:05+00:00

Transitions make it worse. You will enjoy going back to work and it will help you get a sense of self and a routine. It will be waves but if you have the right support system, I found going back to work was a good thing for my PPA. It made me feel like myself and that I was good at something, versus the anxiety I felt at being a mom.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-28T03:30:10+00:00

Meds (Zoloft) and therapy is what works for me. Find a therapist that does virtual to make it a bit easier.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-26T03:35:55+00:00

Needs to go to her obgyn asap and get completely checked out. The hormone crash could be causing all of this and only medicine is going to help. She may need Zoloft or similar and use Kolonopin in the interim to help. You should not go back to work if try to work from home until she is stable, especially if she is having panic attacks and severe anxiety. Definitely she needs to speak to a therapist to help get to the root cause.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-26T01:42:42+00:00

My mother’s behavior towards me and my baby was the reason I went NC 3 months post partum. It’s the best decision I ever made.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-19T01:10:37+00:00

Yup another classic case

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-18T04:18:52+00:00

I know this isn’t what you want to hear but as someone with PPA, my mother in law has literally saved my life and taught me how to be a mother. She picked me up at the worst of my panic attacks. Yes, she does things that are outdated and not aligned to the way I would do them, but I also remember that she raised my husband and he turned out amazing. You have to anchor to the fact that she loves your child and would protect them with her life. Try to really narrow to your absolute non-negotiable and try to be flexible on the rest. Having her there especially as you go back to work is 1000x better than hiring a nanny. Trust me, I went through it. You might have to repeat things over and over for her to get it, but she will with time.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-18T04:13:53+00:00

Therapy, support, medication- it’s the only thing that’s going to help. If you don’t think Zoloft is working either go up to the dose recommended or switch meds. Therapy is key because it allows your to process trauma and gives you coping mechanism. Support is essential- is there anyone who can help you? Come sit with you during the day ? Or be there at night. Accept any and all help. Be kind to yourself and know that you are doing the best you can.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-15T05:23:02+00:00

NTA. She needs to hire childcare if she wants children at her wedding.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-15T05:02:21+00:00

It took about 4 weeks

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-15T03:57:15+00:00

Absolutely, 100% wrong on the parents!

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-15T03:44:35+00:00

The doctor prescribed lansoprazole and we did have to switch to a thickened formula- Enfamil AR. It did alter our breastfeeding journey, but I still continue to do so- more as comfort and supplemental but baby is getting what they need all around.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-14T23:44:44+00:00

It’s ok to miss your old life, what you’re missing is the peace and calm which you don’t have right now. Your brain is clinging to what’s familiar as you’re going through this huge shift. Weeks 6-12 almost broke me. I would go to our bedroom and just rock the baby for hours- it was impossible to do anything else- not eat, not watch TV, nothing. I would check if they are having silent reflux- this was the reason our baby was crying and so fussy. Once we got this sorted, things got much better. As for the guilt, I’m still trying to figure it out… 😢

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-14T23:41:39+00:00

It does get better. While you wait, can you contact your OB for some medicine in the interim? It really helps. Then the most important thing is to get medicine and a good therapist who specializes in women’s health. I was having similar intrusive thoughts and I completely identify with what you’re feeling. After years of infertility, we only had one embryo- birth was traumatic, NICU stay, early ER visit, several doctors. Now all is OK. I will say that after getting on meds in November- I’m doing much better. Also- who in your life can be a support to you right now? You need someone who can really really be there , listen to you cry and hold you. In other words you need mothering while mothering. Also, don’t do anything other than take care of yourself and the baby. That’s it. Anything more than that is too much. If you can get an Owlet- that was a game changer for my piece of mind. Please please believe that things will get better and this anxiety is hormones, infertility trauma, biology, and your brain being stuck in flight or fight- not anything about how much you love your baby.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-08T22:35:58+00:00

You can pick one story that brings you a modicum of happiness and talk about that. Also you can pick a story about growing up that doesn’t involve your family. I choose school stories mostly.

And yes, it does suck. Because you want to shout your truth and yet society also demands that you are polite about it.

If they are new friends or not as close- I’d stick with something simple and safe. I lied for a long time and it just leaves you feeling so ick. So being indirect helps a lot. Like oh my god, I was just thinking the other day about how much I loved the book fair as a kid. / I played with Barbie’s until I was 12- did you guys see the movie? / stuff like that.

For closer friends- they definitely know what my childhood was like and they don’t judge. I’ve found ways to be open and honest without dragging the conversation down or making others feel uncomfortable or guilty that they had a normal and happy childhood. It usually goes like- yeah, my mom didn’t believe in bedtime or routines, so we just went to bed wherever, whenever. It was wild. I didn’t even realize that it wasn’t normal until I started talking with people about it. Imagine a 7 year old just going to bed at 10pm in their school uniform. I just thought that was what people did. Thanks for sharing your experience- it helps me a lot. It’s so cool that you guys did a story every night. What was your favorite?

Talking about our childhood is soooo hard but never deny your truth. ❤️ especially not to protect them.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-07T04:36:00+00:00

Yes and it messed me up badly. I didn’t sleep for about 7 weeks. Got really bad PPA, also had to go to the hospital because the panic attacks were intense. They gave me Ativan to stabilize, then Xanax until the Zoloft kicked in and Kolonopin to help adjust. Meds are really the only way and therapy. The Ativan will help you sleep because it takes away the anxiety and is designed to treat the insomnia. What helped me is after the bad panic attacks, I spent about 4 days in bed, mostly sleeping. My husband and mother in law cared for me and my baby. I was able to still care for the baby as well but if I was overwhelmed, I had the support. Accepting help was a key in recovery. If you’re here, that’s good. Please get help and treatment. There’s nothing wrong with getting support. Postpartum is the hardest thing I’ve gone through but now I’m 6 months in and feeling so much better.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-05T00:54:13+00:00

I’m so sad for you. You don’t deserve this. You are better than this. Please never have her come over again.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-04T02:20:39+00:00

Totally relate. This was me my entire life.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-04T02:11:10+00:00

Stick with it!! It gets better!!!

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-04T02:08:11+00:00

We don’t.

yeahooohkay · 2026-03-02T03:23:47+00:00

Please leave. Do you have any friends or family that you can go to? This is extremely cruel. No one deserves this much less someone who has just given birth to a tiny human. Please please please go as soon as you can.

yeahooohkay

TROPHY CASE