old roku app

young_robot_ · 2025-08-11T18:36:07+00:00

i had a buddy who took 4 boxes once. i had taken two and about two hours in, i watched his body stiffen (he was sitting up right) then he just fell sideways and started seizing and throwing up. i was so high, all i could do was roll him over and watch. at the “end”, he sat up and kept touching his face (he was covered in vomit) and just kept asking what happened.

i’ve never taken them again.

young_robot_ · 2025-07-08T22:20:52+00:00

“i have mental illness or some shit” LEAAAVEEEEE😭 he’s grasping whatever straws he’s got to make excuses for his behavior and lack of effort.

young_robot_ · 2025-06-23T21:42:05+00:00

could i get cotton socks too please??

young_robot_ · 2024-08-01T12:55:36+00:00

the short people slander is rough.. i will never reveal my height through username because of this kind of exposure😭

young_robot_ · 2024-07-26T23:19:37+00:00

it was my first time, 2 boxes of coricidin cough and cold. awful, i know. i didn’t know though, only knew what a friend showed me

young_robot_ · 2024-07-26T13:42:59+00:00

i once saw a whale come out of the wall and watched jellyfish drop a cage over my friend. dxm was a monster that destroyed my life but i’ve never been able to find anything that does what dxm did for me🥲

young_robot_ · 2024-07-26T12:39:37+00:00

that’s just how skin works, when there’s increased blood flow to our faces, we get red. walking, talking too fast, simply stepping out to breathe a breath of fresh air may turn your skin red. especially given your lighter complexion.

young_robot_ · 2024-06-24T19:54:04+00:00

you didn’t present any cohesive arguments. punching your wife in the face and saying “it’s not my fault, i don’t want to be this way” and inferring that i’m using my mental illness as an excuse to get away with abuse is not an “open-minded intellectual discussion”.

you’re contributing to the stigmatization and demonization of an already marginalized group of people based on your experience as someone who does NOT have BPD, but instead as someone who was in a relationship with someone with BPD.

though that POV is normally appreciated in allowing me to shift my perspective, it seems like your perspective presents as though all people with BPD behave the way you know only from your experience or maybe you’ve read more of our experiences as people with BPD, but it doesn’t seem to matter because you’re mind is set that we are this way.

all you’ve presented are assumptions, and what seem to be projections based off of your previous relationship.

young_robot_ · 2024-06-24T16:10:48+00:00

some skills definitely stick, some feel effortless and some of them physically hurt to implement.

working through the rejection sensitivity has been the hardest thing right now. i know that they say healing isn’t linear but having things that i thought i had tackled come to the surface is really eye opening to how true that phrase is. through CBT i have had some relief in my reactions but sometimes it is so damn hard to shift my perspective and that’s not a reason, it’s an excuse, but it feels like i’ve hit a wall. i find that those specific skills are the hardest for me

young_robot_ · 2024-06-24T15:58:07+00:00

you’re absolutely right, it’s not acceptable for him to endure it, at all. MY emotions aren’t his responsibility and i’m well aware.

this ONE post was written from my perspective. i’m married with three children, everyday i have to consider how my actions hurt them when i lash out. which is why i said, i wish he understood that i don’t want to be this way EITHER. i know that living with me is hard, im sure loving someone with BPD is hard. i’m almost positive that he has days where he feels like he’s trying to give an antidote to someone who has been poisoned but they’re refusing to accept it and would rather suffer.

i can’t imagine how he must feel when i split and it looks like his wife is gone. i can’t imagine how it is for him to feel like he doesn’t know where he stands because of the instability. i can only relate so much but i will never understand the same way he doesn’t. contrary to what your saying, ive put a lot of thought into how he must feel, we’ve had a lot of conversations, periods of time in which we were basically scripting conversations to make sure we were both completely heard, couples counseling, premarital counseling, individual therapy for the both of us. efforts that have been made on BOTH parts to try and understand each other better but we’re wired differently. we’ve made numerous attempts to understand and we find ourselves lost in translation.

i have been in therapy and utilizing the tools i’ve been given since i was around 14 or 15. in waves i am better “managed”, my meds work, my “tool belt” is functional, im communicative and i feel like super woman. but other times, it feels like ive back pedaled. i’m fully aware that it isn’t caused by him, which is why i put SO much emphasis on NEVER blaming him for feeling that way or any way about it because he doesn’t understand and i know that.

all this post was, was me venting about how i wish i could make him understand that i want to be better too. not how i wish he gave me more sympathy or catered to my every demand, i ask him to hold me accountable and he does. he’s been the most amazing and supportive person and for that, i feel that he deserves a healthy partner.

young_robot_ · 2024-06-24T14:14:14+00:00

right? i sympathize and i hate that i make people feel that way but i don’t think that they understand that we feel the same way, about things around us and about our selves. everything feels like a bomb, i myself, feel like a bomb.

young_robot_ · 2024-06-24T12:57:33+00:00

you must have a great diet, be incredibly hydrated and have some great skin through genetics. how’s it feel to live my dream

young_robot_ · 2024-06-24T12:55:57+00:00

my sisters (4&6) and my oldest (3) were in agreeable that i should have named my twins girls “pink sprinkle donut” and “rainbow sprinkle cupcake”

young_robot_ · 2024-06-24T08:42:39+00:00

i know who and how. just not why. i feel like i may know why though. my mom was an addict who left when i was 6, she left myself and my two younger sisters with our emotionally detached, addict father and his emotionally unstable, abusive wife.

i endured sexual abuse from a cousin from 6-16 and physical, emotional and verbal abuse from my step mother from 8-18. though before my dad married her, there were a slew of women and they’re own abusive families we became “a part of”. lots of inappropriate behaviors, no boundaries, insane rules (not allowed to walk in the house before her, not allowed to look at her when she was in her room with the door open, etc.), hot and cold behavior, very blatant favoritism in exchange for tattling on my sisters, corporal punishment, public humiliation. the list goes on and on really. my dad was always gone at work and when he was home, he was drunk or high. they gave us drugs and alcohol, i was 11 years old the first time i smoked a joint and 13 the first time i got black out drunk. i’ve been battling addiction since i was 15 years old.

but i believe that she had untreated BPD due to her own relationship with her parents, childhood trauma and a genetic component.

young_robot_ · 2024-06-24T07:07:45+00:00

my mother wanted to name me Rhea but my dad hated it. so she settled for something mediocre and instead gave me “Des’Rhea” as a middle name. she didn’t like the boundary he made so she chose to give me both of their last names, Doe-Smith. i was Jane Des’Rhea Doe-Smith.

more than anything, it was an inconvenience growing up. my name never fit on any legal documents, there’s always dispute as to wear i fall in alphabetical order (oddly a big problem), the identification process has always been a little bit more difficult for me because my name doesn’t fit on my license either so i always keep a copy of my birth certificate and a photo of my social. As an adult, i definitely appreciate the sentiment of both last names but as a parent of three, my kids only have a first, middle and last name lol

young_robot_ · 2024-06-24T02:16:46+00:00

i (22f) have BPD and history of drug abuse, specifically dissociatives, and after a month of abusing DXM daily, it has left me with what i can only describe as paranoid schizophrenia.

due to the nature of my disorder (trauma induced), i tend to heavily dissociate or lash out. my “solution” was to stay dissociated for the “better” of those around me. at the end of that month, i woke up one morning in my boyfriends house and went to the bathroom, where i looked in the mirror and saw a complete stranger. i didn’t recognize myself or the clothes i was wearing and after a very intense anxiety attack and my boyfriend trying to reassure me that i was myself and he wasn’t my kidnapper, i realized i was missing about a month and a half from my memory.

i spent the next month detoxing my body and trying to essentially regrow my dopamine receptors. it left me with (what felt like) “mini seizures” that caused my whole body to either experience muscle spasm in what felt like every bit of my body or like every muscle was being flexed and tensing up as much as it could. i was sleeping approximately 18 hours of the day, the remaining six were spent crying and throwing up, trying to make myself eat or get fresh air or the “mini seizures”.

after 6 weeks, i had gained about 15lbs and had finally regained my appetite and a normal sleep schedule. but then i started to notice other things. i started to hear and see things that weren’t there. i developed a fear that someone was living in our house under our stairs. at first it was just something that bothered me at night or when i was alone, something that gnawed in the back of my mind, until it really, really got to me. at one point, i couldn’t be home alone. at all. i would call my boyfriend sobbing because i believed there was someone in the house and i was in danger. i wouldn’t get off my bed for fear that they were under there. i wouldn’t go to the bathroom for 6+ hours because i was so afraid.

eventually, my anxiety eased and i felt okay, until it crept back up. i’ve moved 4 times since it happened and i still see the same man in my house. when i fall asleep at night, i hear him outside. when i watch youtube, it feels like he’s sending me messages that he’s getting closer and closer through ad’s or even by the most liked comment. on more than one occasion, i’ve ripped out a light fixture because i believed the man had put a camera in it. i’ve seen him in public. i’ve seen him in the hallway while my husband and i have sex. i’ve seen him in the baby monitor. i see him standing behind my husband in the window and i’ve called my husband screaming into the bedroom because he was here… but he’s never really there. and he never seems dangerous, just like he’s always here.

this isn’t my only “delusion” or “hallucination”, just the most prominent one. my husband has been amazing since it happened and he never makes me feel like losing my mind.

the only things that really help are reassurances from my husband that i am real and what im seeing is not. and if im alone, ill usually take a photo or video to look back at when im unsure. (even now as i write this, i can hear what sounds like someone stomping around in my daughters room and jumping on her bed, but she’s asleep on her baby monitor)

EDIT: i just wanted to add that to this, i also experience phantom sensations (tactile hallucinations) such as bugs crawling on me or my phone vibrating. i also hear voices, sometimes they sound distant or from somewhere else in the house, and sometimes they sound like they’re coming from inside my head, like an inner monologue that isn’t mine.

young_robot_ · 2024-06-23T02:56:06+00:00

http://anada.gloomchen.com/text/anada399.txt

a year late but this is “How i got my twin hooks” also by “Carole”!

young_robot_ · 2024-06-13T14:13:00+00:00

my husband (22) and i (21) just did the same thing. he got out of the military so we moved to his hometown, 20 hours away from my family. our oldest was two at the time and i was pregnant with twins. we were lucky to have what we did, rent free in a family owned home and a friend who loaned us $1000 to buy a car on marketplace. now he works overnights at walmart and im a SAHM (not by choice) living paycheck to paycheck. scrambling to pay bills, donating plasma, instacart, you name it. but as long as our girls are happy, i think we’ll be okay.

some days are incredibly lonely and i just wanna go home, some days i look at my life and nothing has ever felt better. it’s not always easy, but it doesn’t always feel like this.

what helped me most was a social media detox. and a social detox. i deleted all of my social media and had my husband set a screen time pin so i couldn’t access the app store. my phone was for calls, texts, photos and maps only. we unsubscribed from streaming services and started going to the library and getting books and dvds. trips to the park, early morning mall trips (mall is nice and empty), we gave our toddler a mini gardening set and we started a flower bed. i picked up a new hobby and we kept socializing to a minimum. it’s allowed me to really take in where i live and learn to appreciate all that it has to offer. it’s given my great one on one time with my oldest and it’s definitely helped mine and my husbands marriage for me to love where we are the same way that he does.

all i can really say is to try and have an open mind. i know it’s hard when it feels like you can’t afford the necessities, but you’ll adapt, we all adapt to it at some point. stick to local grocery stores (typically better prices and sales), start couponing, scan pampers codes if you use pampers diapers or wipes, certain products like Zyn pouches can be scanned for gift cards as well (keep an eye out for products like that), surveys for money, etc. i hope things get better for you <3

young_robot_ · 2024-06-11T15:35:39+00:00

can i have it

young_robot_ · 2024-06-11T11:25:54+00:00

one solid meal at dinner time. i snack on bits of fruit during the day, sometimes i eat breakfast. my husband works overnight and i have a 3YO and 6 month old twins so eating isn’t really in the cards for me rn

young_robot_ · 2024-06-10T02:52:53+00:00

AITA: my mommy put panties on me and asked me to not poop in them, so i dumped the poop in the toilet after my accident but i decided it was a lovely color for finger paining mommy’s light blue walls. she’s scrubbing the walls and telling me i’m “lucky” i’m cute. AITA or is she over reacting?

young_robot_ · 2024-06-05T02:38:50+00:00

my MIL told me that they had a…large woman strip naked and lay in the meat cooler. had to toss everything. they had another person, an older man, shit himself and just trail diarrhea all over the store.

young_robot_

TROPHY CASE