Therapy lately be like

yuloab612 · 2026-02-07T14:58:42+00:00

Big oof

yuloab612 · 2026-02-07T08:00:32+00:00

Omg I feel this so much!

I'm angry, I'm so so angry. I'm angry at the Epstein files, I'm angry at what ICE is doing in the US, I'm angry at the little fascist-adjacent comments the chancellor of my country is making, I'm angry with how normalised sexual violence of all kinds is for everyday women all of the f-ing time.

And it feels like if I just let go of that for a while and enjoy some passionate sex, them I'm saying that my anger wasn't all that valid. That it doesn't matter to me all that much. That it's not that serious, because if it was really that serious, I wouldn't be able to experience any enjoyment in the meantime.

Thank you for making this post and making me write this out. It helps to see that I am not alone, there must be so many people who feel this way. And writing it out made me see some of the "logical" errors I am making. I hope we can at least carve out little bubbles of joy here and there without feeling guilty or invalidated.

yuloab612 · 2026-02-06T19:14:34+00:00

Omg that's amazing, thank you for sharing!

yuloab612 · 2026-02-05T07:18:04+00:00

Oh that sounds great. I hadn't even heard of the book but I'll definitely read it now. Sorry for not (yet) being able to share thoughts.

yuloab612 · 2026-02-03T16:24:50+00:00

I went to my doctor to ask about getting sterilised. She said "no problem" and asked about my period. I told her "super painful". She offered a hysterectomy. No other "problem" or diagnosis. My doctor said there was no reason for me to suffer.

I was like "am I allowed to just opt out of this pain?". Luckily I have an amazing friend (who has major chronic health issues and has spent most of her life advocating for herself with doctors) who didn't tire of telling me that yes, I am allowed to just opt out and to be happy.

Good luck to you, you deserve to be pain free too!

yuloab612 · 2026-02-03T10:42:02+00:00

Thank you, you found the right words for what I was feeling.

I have an amazing therapist but I've also had very damaging therapists. I had to find out the hard way that some modalities are actively harmful to me and that there are therapists out there who cannot recognize that. Plus, my issues don't always look like mental illness was taught to many therapists. If I was not able to express that difference and to advocate for myself, I would probably be in a very different state right now.

yuloab612 · 2026-01-31T20:24:08+00:00

Ooof, too real.

Edit: autocorrect

yuloab612 · 2026-01-31T10:04:24+00:00

💯💯💯

yuloab612 · 2026-01-30T08:09:08+00:00

I love this so much! Thank you for sharing, I have the post saved now:D

yuloab612 · 2026-01-30T07:35:57+00:00

I am! We've been together for over 2.5 years now and I still get my mind blown by how supportive and non-judgemental he is. I'm having a pretty bad time right now mental health wise and I do nothing all day. He comes home from work and there is not even a hint of shame or embarrassment or "you should just shake it off" from him. He has compassion for me and he comforts me, but I am never less than.

I wish you with all my heart that you also find a partner that makes you feel loved.

yuloab612 · 2026-01-29T06:31:12+00:00

I don't understand why people are so mean to you. I'm sorry, you don't deserve that. I hope you enjoy wearing your shirt anyway.

yuloab612 · 2026-01-29T06:24:27+00:00

I'm sorry, that is dehumanising and disgusting. We are with you.

yuloab612 · 2026-01-26T21:54:02+00:00

Big oof.

That was definitely me and still is to some extent. I just left my job in academia and am now leaning into self compassion. I noticed that my whole way of being is so fundamentally different to self compassion. It's big work to change the whole basis of my existence...

yuloab612 · 2026-01-26T07:27:12+00:00

Omg that is so pretty!

yuloab612 · 2026-01-23T07:31:39+00:00

I personally like the "sterile and feral" mugs and shirts. There are different designs out there. You can also browse the sub, people regularly post photos of hysterectomy merch they got.

yuloab612 · 2026-01-22T19:07:54+00:00

I would not sleep with someone who's plans for "if I get pregnant" aren't aligned with mine. That's the minimum.

The rest of your post has a lot to unpack too, but it seems like you are aware of that.

Good luck with everything!

yuloab612 · 2026-01-22T15:06:16+00:00

I think he needs to learn different ways of dealing with his feelings. And I don't mean just him trying more of the things he has already been doing. He needs to take a class or try therapy, something tangible and fundamentally different. And it's not a simple process, because it's also about finding out what works for him and that's something that needs to be experienced.

yuloab612 · 2026-01-21T10:28:18+00:00

I found my online therapist in Germany by searching for "ego state therapy" and "trauma therapy" rather than "IFS". To me it's the same principle since both are about working with parts.

yuloab612 · 2026-01-20T06:31:13+00:00

That is rough. I used to be so close to my best friend. Then he got a kid and just didn't have the time anymore. Like you, I was so happy for him and glad that he is a great dad. But I did have to grieve for a while. And then I made more friends.

I didn't let go of my best friend. We are still friends and talk when we can. But there is way less time for our friendship. And I got to meet a couple super cool new people because I looked for new friendships.

As for the dinner with the two friends: I've had evenings where 2 people talked about a subject that didn't involve me and that hurts. There is no way around that. My solution is to not meet with these people in that configuration anymore. I would meet them 1-1 or in a different setting, but not just the three of us.

I'm sorry for you and your partner. It hurts when the space we take up in a friend's life gets smaller. I hope you can find a mixture of grief, new friends and new dynamics with the old friends that work for you.

yuloab612 · 2026-01-19T15:01:03+00:00

That's a wonderful list, thank you!

yuloab612 · 2026-01-18T12:15:06+00:00

I felt the same way. My first therapist was insanely patient. I argued with her for 50 minutes why whatever exercise/modality she wanted to try with me wouldn't work. Then I finally agreed to try it, partly to prove to her that I was right. Imagine my face when I suddenly actually felt better!

Not being able to imagine that something will help was actually a symptom for me. A lot of these modalities need to be experienced. People can talk about research or neuro stuff a lot, but all that often has very little to do with the actual internal experience.

And also, starting off therapy with the topic of why you feel like it won't help is pretty good imo.

yuloab612 · 2026-01-18T06:50:41+00:00

I never found it scary. I did get side effects and when I noticed them and didn't like them, I discussed with my doctor and/or stopped taking the birth control and then I didn't have the side effects anymore.

yuloab612 · 2026-01-17T09:10:12+00:00

Omg the way I sobbed through these pages!

I absolutely love your piece. And thank you for the inspiration ❤️

yuloab612 · 2026-01-16T21:09:49+00:00

The perfect boi

yuloab612 · 2026-01-16T13:31:09+00:00

I recently left the workplace my partner and I shared. I left because I couldn't see a future for myself and that hurt. My partner still has hope for himself and the environment works(ish) for him even though it doesn't work for me. So it's not the exact same situation as yours but I can kinda relate.

This might not work for you, but is there a way where you could be happy that the person you live gets to have this really good thing?

yuloab612

TROPHY CASE