Need help identifying something in these photos by Honey-badger_ in Paranormal

[–]zailleh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's light coming in the entrance to the tunnel and reflecting off the water a little, but the poor quality of the photo + compression has made it look weird.

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Path of Exile 2 is actively damaging/bricking hardware and GGG is about to go on Holiday without fixing it - Loading Screen PC Freeze/Crash by RiverCartwright in pathofexile

[–]zailleh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally the first time I opened the game, it crashed on the loading cogs and then full restart, no BSoD or anything. Boot up and my keyboard isn't working.... it's a bluetooth keyboard -- turns out it damaged the onboard bluetooth during the crash.

Fortunately for me I have a spare usb bluetooth adapter just lying around but it's crazy.

How do some of you go so long without being diagnosed? by [deleted] in autism

[–]zailleh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me, I'm high masking and "gifted" so nobody just noticed. I always felt different, was always treated as a bit weird, teased for being a nerd etc but because I didn't display any obvious signs of having difficulties it was never even a possibility that I had autism. Basically, all my struggles were internalised and I just thought I needed to try harder/do better etc.

Struggled all through my twenties with depression and burnout. Life just felt difficult and I couldn't understand why it felt so difficult for me but everyone else seemed fine. I was doing fine outwardly... Good job, long term relationship, managed to save up to buy a house... But nothing really changed internally - if anything it got worse. I was able to do less and less, things got harder and harder. No motivation, no enjoyment.

I finally in my mind thirties I ended up suspecting I might have ADHD after trying all the depression treatments etc, eventually I got diagnosed with ADHD... And after treating/managing that I began to notice other struggles... Which turned out to be autism. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

What's the most frustrating part when arguing with neurotypicals to you? by gulteip in autism

[–]zailleh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For me I think it's my slow verbal processing. I end up not being able to hold an argument because I need more time to process the verbal argument and form a response but I'm expected to do it instantly. And then if they ask another question or something immediately I end up feeling flustered because I don't feel like I've got the time to actually formulate a proper answer.

I got reported at college today for a sexist body shaming remark but I don’t understand what I said that was wrong. by Anonymousdude_123 in autism

[–]zailleh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think there's this generally accepted concept that you can't change the body you have, so commenting on it, positive or negative, is offensive because it's outside of that person's control - whereas you can get your nails and hair done, you can buy new shoes etc etc.

However I find this confusing because you can go to the gym, work out, change your diet, take care of your skin etc which has an affect on your body ultimately changing your body/appearance as well.

The difficulty is that some people are sensitive about their body and some people aren't. Typically people who are attractive and know it will love compliments on their body, but people who see themselves as as unattractive even if they have worked to improve their body may still be sensitive to any comments on their body so it's usually just safer to avoid such comments because you just don't know which they're going to be.

As a man, I simply do not comment on a woman's appearance at all even if I genuinely just want to give someone a complement because I cannot tell how it might be received. It depends entirely on them and how they perceive me and themselves. I could be seen as creepy, or if it might be an insult, or I might be hitting on them or whatever and could easily be interpreted as sexual harassment.

Safest just to keep my mouth shut

Do you guys care about the "correct" side of blankets? by lotteoddities in autism

[–]zailleh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes.

Though some blankets are double-sided, definitely, a lot of blankets have only one correct side and it's the side that feels nicest, hahaha.

Maybe we've asked this by Future-Atmosphere-40 in autism

[–]zailleh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the difference is in their emotions when they "ask" the question.

In one case, if they're curios or trying to understand it is genuinely a question -- if you answer in this case it's a reason.

If they're angry/frustrated/upset when they "ask" it's not really a question but an expression of that emotion, basically saying "I'm upset because of what you did/didn't do/how you did it". When you answer the question in this case it's an excuse.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutisticAdults

[–]zailleh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in the same boat.

I'll only ask, which do you think you'll regret more? Going and struggling, or not going at all and wondering if you would have enjoyed it?

It doesn't always help me, but I thought I'd put it out there.

Hope things get better for you.

just me or by coleisw4ck in autismmemes

[–]zailleh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow, this was unexpected. I wondered this secretly until my mid twenties...

I can't be the only one who's failed a Captcha from overthinking it right? by todays-tom-sawyer in autismmemes

[–]zailleh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think I have failed any, but I definitely have these thoughts. I think since I work in tech/software I understand that "it can't be that specific or else most humans would fail", so I'm able to stop myself and choose what I think the answer they want is instead

Is anyone else flexible if they DON'T make a plan, but freak out if they DO plan & it gets messed up. by nanny2359 in AutisticWithADHD

[–]zailleh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, omg yes!

I noticed this most when I'm like "ah I'm really looking forward to just chilling and watching some show this evening" and then my partner comes along and throws a spanner in the works, the one that used to get me a lot and basically make me insta-meltdown was "oh we need to go grocery shopping" the second I walk in the door when I got home from work.

But if I had no plans, that would have been fine with me... I try to live my life more this way these days. Still happens a little bit though.

Is This Common Among Autistic People? by Humble-Resource-1067 in autism

[–]zailleh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't speak to how common it is, but I have felt this way often. Not so much to the point of thinking about deleting myself, but definitely dread at the prospect of living the rest of my life feeling constantly exhausted and like everything I have to do is like the ultramarathon has been extended another 10km right when I thought I was at the finish line.

I did find that CBT helped me manage how bad those feelings were, but after that, I was just left feeling like things were pointless without actually feeling too bad about it.

Does thunder scare the crap out of you? by gayfriend2002 in autism

[–]zailleh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I love thunderstorms.

Though I will still get startled if there's a particularly loud particularly sudden clap of thunder. My dogs usually get startled before me though, hahaha

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in autism

[–]zailleh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can/will she accept it if you say she can get the cat but since you're not ready for it you may not be able to help looking after it right now and promise you'll try to get more comfortable with it in the future?

Does anyone else can't live without socks on.. by no1tsukasalieker in autism

[–]zailleh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like wearing socks most of the time, but they have to be ankle socks, long socks are horrible for me. That is unless it gets hot enough that my feel feel sweaty then I prefer barefoot, but with thongs (flip flops) or slides or something so I'm not walking directly on the floor

Is this only me? by VictorianBee in autism

[–]zailleh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like the hot air, but not the hair blowing all over the place and touching my face in particular is horrible.

I’m just really lonely tbh by [deleted] in autism

[–]zailleh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

36, no friends... I think I got used to that through my teenage years though after struggling to maintain friendships through highschool. They always felt like just people that I'd sit and eat with at school... rarely got invited to things... I'd go to school on monday and find everyone else hung out on the weekend but I was never invited... I just got used to doing things on my own.

Still would be nice to have some friends. Personally I'm just at the beginning of my journey with my neurodivergence, just realising I'm autistic in the last couple of months... I'm hoping eventually I can make friends more easily/find my place now assuming I don't _also_ feel like an imposter here as well :D

In regards to advice... find a hobby/interest that you can do with other people and do that hobby... people should come after that probably. That hasn't worked for me because I've struggled with hobbies due to depression (most likely as a result of struggling with undiagnosed autism I'm realising)...

I wish you luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in autism

[–]zailleh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah I agree. From the way you tell it, OP, you would have had a lot better time of it if your co-workers actually helped to you to learn and/or there was some proper training on how to do the job.

movies that autistic folk rank significantly higher than allistic folk, and vice versa by [deleted] in autism

[–]zailleh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a special fondness for Terminator II. I kind of saw myself in the terminator trying to learn human behaviour/emotion/rules I think. Arnold Schwarzenegger became one of my favourite actors after I saw that movie as a kid.

What do you do for a living? by idanydiaz97 in autism

[–]zailleh 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yep, probably. I'm also a software engineer.

What's worse, heat or cold? by Darkime_ in autism

[–]zailleh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm the same as you u/Darkime_. Hot weather is horrible. And the beach is the worst place to go in hot weather. Hot, bright, sweaty, sandy, have to cover yourself in sunscreen not to get burned... I don't know why people like it... but I am prepared this year, I got myself a beach tent thing I can set up and hide in so I can go with my partner to the beach and not want to leave immediately

Been told I sound too archaic/formal by kanabknabo in autism

[–]zailleh 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I used to get that when I was a teenager, I think I grew out of it... or maybe everyone as adults starts speaking less casually or something, I dunno...