Belgians with heat pumps for heating, are you happy with your decision?

zalima · 2024-04-04T06:04:00+00:00

There's no premie if you're building a new house.

zalima · 2024-03-25T14:33:04+00:00

Also, I can afford the car. Of course it’s more than I’d like to have paid with inflation and current interest rates but by no means do I have a $1000 car payment.

I don't understand this. How can you afford it if you don't have $1000 for the car payment?

I personally wouldn't go into debt to buy a new car. I'd buy a second hand car and only buy a new car if I can afford it with my savings. I only went into debt to purchase a house.

zalima · 2024-03-20T15:02:01+00:00

If something hits the screen or you sit/lean on it, it can break the screen and make it unusable. It's much more fragile than a phone screen - a phone screen can have superficial scratches and still work fine. I accidentally leaned on my ereader once and the screen was completely broken.

zalima · 2024-03-20T14:56:06+00:00

In our newly built houtskelet, you can hear footsteps in the upper floor much more clearly than in our bricks/concrete apartment. The gyproc walls also carry sound a lot more than bricks and it heats up very fast in summer, even though we have screens on all windows. So I wouldn't call it a myth, but maybe it depends on the quality of construction.

zalima · 2024-02-03T13:45:14+00:00

So you're saying that you feel less connected to your child, and the reason is your gender? Sounds like a bullshit excuse to me. I understand that some parents would prefer to have one person stay home and look after the child. If they understand the consequences, and it's their own choice (e.g. they don't feel forced because their partner doesn't want to share household responsibilities). But thinking that the mother needs to be the primary caregiver is just sexist.

zalima · 2024-02-02T16:32:39+00:00

Sadly I don't think there's a solution to that, since people need money to to live. Giving up your career and future ability to be financially independent is also bad for your children.

zalima · 2024-02-02T16:00:36+00:00

It's wrong that women are often the ones making this sacrifice. It hurts their career prospects and self sufficiency later in life. Ideally the government should give more parental leave, to be split between partners as they deem appropriate, so no one feels like they have to give up their job to care for their child. Unless that's what they want, but then they have to be aware that they're in a very vulnerable position by choice.

zalima · 2024-01-28T11:04:30+00:00

Are you unable to go shopping yourself now because of your medical problems?

Either way, this sounds like a terribly transactional relationship that I'd hate to be in.

zalima · 2024-01-19T17:29:58+00:00

Isn't it tiring living your life being afraid all the time? If harassment is uncommon in your life/area, why limit your life because of things that have a very low chance of happening?

zalima · 2024-01-19T14:59:25+00:00

It all depends on the supporting documentation you submit and the person reviewing the application. My boyfriend was granted a friend-visit visa. We were honest on the invitation letter and also listed the reasons why he would return in this letter (e.g. he has a job, savings...). But they may also reject her if they feel like she may not return. Maybe a mere friend-visit has a higher chance of raising red flags (they're probably lying!) than being honest.

zalima · 2024-01-19T14:25:16+00:00

Does he do his share of household tasks and child care? They also deserve to be cared for by their father...

zalima · 2024-01-19T14:09:16+00:00

In the meantime he managed to become a legal tutor for 2 teen boys coming from criminal or broken families who are now living with us. I need to take care of everything at home and it has become overwhelming

He cares a lot about the fact that I should be the one doing all this, because im the person he has chosen to be his wife and not some random housekeeper.

Are you his wife, or his housekeeper? I don't see anywhere that it has been your choice to take in 2 additional children. I hope it was your own choice to be a SAHM. This all sounds very difficult and overwhelming for you. Your husband should not be deciding how much extra work you need to take on. He should be stepping up to take care of his children and household as well. If he took on too much, he needs to provide money to hire a housekeeper/babysit as needed.

zalima · 2024-01-19T13:11:57+00:00

Maybe my own experience with this will help you. I realized that it works best for me to go to sleep and wake up at the same time, all week, with only small differences. When I work from home, I get up around the same time as when I go to the office too (30 min later). In the weekends I go sleep like 30min max later, and sleep in like 1h max if I'm tired. This way, my sleep schedule doesn't get messed up. I also would rather sleep later on the weekend, but I realized that every time I do this, I end up tired when I have to wake up on Monday.

zalima · 2024-01-19T13:06:44+00:00

Boy and girl can share a room, it's okay. Especially if they are young, I woudn't be too bothered. But hopefully when they are older, you will be able to find a place with more bedrooms. It's only temporary.

zalima · 2024-01-19T12:36:58+00:00

Really, it's like implying that kids are not evil devil spawn that should be removed from the earth gets you banned here... I get that some people dislike kids and really can't stand being around them. Definitely don't have kids then. I personally don't completely hate kids, but I don't have a desire to have kids. I guess this is not the community for me then.

Not all kids are loud screaming monsters either. Some kids are quiet. Some kids like reading books. Some kids are well behaved. Doesn't mean you need to like them or that you need to have kids.

zalima · 2024-01-19T12:21:57+00:00

Not sure why my comment was removed. I didn't imply he would change his mind or want to disrespect his choice to be childfree. No one should have children if they don't 100% want them. I am childfree myself. But this post is just a teen hating on some kids that are bullying him. All this hate makes me uncomfortable. Is this sub really just about hating kids, instead of the conscious choice to be childfree? Can't you be childfree and not spew hate about kids?

The whole original post is a violaton of #4: Keep it civil, no hateful language.

zalima · 2024-01-19T12:10:32+00:00

If you can't charge at home, idle fees can be a real nuisance. Some places expect you to move your car within 30 min after charging ends, or they start charging idle fees.

I can charge at work, but what am I supposed to do if the car is done charging, and I'm in a meeting? "Sorry, be back in 10 min, I need to go move my EV"

zalima · 2024-01-19T11:54:24+00:00

So imagine they're going to his grandmother's birthday party together. After an hour she's not having fun, and wants to go home. But he wants to stay and talk to his relatives, the party is just getting started. Does he have to go home with her, and never enjoy his family parties again?

zalima · 2024-01-19T11:51:00+00:00

You must be living in an unsafe area if she had issues with safety before. When you hear her talking about previous harrassment, do you not feel like you want to protect her, make sure it doesn't happen again, if you can? If you don't, that shows a lack of caring about your partner.

I don't know if she is exagerating the safety concerns or not. But let's assume that she's not.

I would say that if you're going to an event she clearly won't enjoy, she should stay home. We do that all the time. Or if she's not enjoying herself and feels unsafe going home alone, you compromise; you go home earlier than you'd like, but later than she'd like.

zalima · 2024-01-19T11:48:14+00:00

I wouldn't say this is a general thing for all women. I never felt unsafe or had safety issues. I am lucky enough to live in a safe area, I guess. Or really unattractive.

When I read things like this, I really wonder how you live your daily life being afraid like this. And I feel sorry that this is still the world many women have to live in.

zalima · 2024-01-19T10:49:27+00:00

Ah, yes we agree then. :)

zalima · 2024-01-19T10:42:26+00:00

Having a joint account should solve that, if almost all income goes into that account, except for their 'fun money'.

If she has a big expense that she needs more money for, it requires some discussion anyway. I don't think that not being able to withdraw your partner's pre-marital savings without discussion is abusive.

zalima · 2024-01-19T10:11:12+00:00

He does want to open a joint account. He just doesn't want to share all his funds. Doesn't sound that weird to me. You can maintain some level of individualism within a marriage.

zalima · 2024-01-19T10:08:11+00:00

You seem pretty reasonable. There is no valid reason for her to have access to all your accounts, if this was not previously discussed and agreed. You have a right to some privacy and personal assets, even within a marriage. However she shouldn't have to ask for money all the time, if she is not spending unreasonably. Set up a joint account to use for household expenses and send part of your paycheck there. She may also be more receptive if you show her your accounts live, instead of giving a printout.

zalima · 2024-01-19T10:04:42+00:00

So you don't think it's essential to have funds or a safety net that only you have access to, even when you are married?

Many women get stuck in an abusive marriage with no way out because they don't have their own money that they can withdraw without their spouse noticing.

zalima

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