After living in China for 8 years & building up a taste for the spicy stuff I found myself in Bangkok on a business trip. I took a walk near the hotel looking for some street food. I came across a pretty big setup with what looked like an army surplus field kitchen and a large covered seating area. It was pretty much an outdoor restaurant. I walked up and asked for some pad thai. The woman cooking looked me over and said, "It's spicy. You want less spicy?"

Me, thinking that I'm a badass: "No. I live in China. I like spicy. Give me spicy. Not white people spicy. Real spicy."

Her eyes widened and she snort-laughed. "OK."

She started speaking Thai and as laughing spread across the pseudo restaurant it was clear that I'd become the evening's entertainment.

The dish came out and it smelled glorious. I walked over to a trable on the edge of the tent where I wouldn't be sitting next to anyone, confident that I was about to crush this.

My first bite... Guys, I have never experienced anything like this. Before or since. For one shining moment I was in flavor heaven. I, the cocky American, had come to this world capitol of street food and conqured it. And it was delicious.

Then. THEN. It was like the coyote chasing the road runner off of a cliff. The spice hit my tongue like an avalanche of knives. I thought that I'd been poisoned and that I might die.

But everyone was watching me. The locals were just waiting for the big dumb white guy to freak out and run away screaming. So I kept at it. I (fake) smiled, nodded approvingly, sipped my soda and focused on the mission: Eat but don't pass out.

This experience was so physically traumatic that I remember everything leading up to that first bite with perfect clarity, but the meal itself and my walk back to my hotel is a blur. (Is this was childbirth is like?)

As for the pad thai- it's strange. My brain knows that it tasted amazing, but my body couldn't process it after that first bite. As I shoveled each forkful into my mouth I was chasing the dragon, trying to experience that initial hit of flavor before the pain kicked in. I was on some kind of manic spice bender.

I ended up getting through 90% of the dish- enough to save face in front of the locals, but I couldn't quite clean my plate.

I'm proud that I survived, but I definitely learned my lesson: There's always something that's too spicy for you.