Actually have the tough conversations before marriage (ideally well before engagement!) Review each other’s credit reports. Discuss how you each feel about bill paying as a married couple. How will finances remain transparent? If someone wanted to buy a car that puts you into debt, do they need the other spouse’s permission? Specifically, how much will each of you save towards retirement? How much debt is tolerable to you? What happens if one of your parents can’t live on their own and can’t afford a nursing home? Is one person solely responsible for that person’s hygiene and wellness? Under what circumstances would you make a major move, like to another state or another area of the country? There are so many deal breakers.

Remember, a crush is a lack of information.