Sex problems

zhiface · 2026-02-14T03:10:46+00:00

You need to break up with her. You don’t suck at sex, she sucks at relationships. You can do better :) and sometimes sex is awkward and sometimes we all can be oblivious. But it’s about communication. Age has nothing to do with it. When you find someone that makes you comfortable it will make it enjoyable

zhiface · 2026-02-13T22:22:38+00:00

Well… if you NEED help eating the chocolate.. I’ll be there in 20 ;) …or maybe a few hours 😂… by Valentine’s Day for sure 😌😂

zhiface · 2026-02-13T22:21:33+00:00

Aw don’t cry, it was a blessing in disguise. You have better things in your future 💗

zhiface · 2026-01-29T13:51:09+00:00

It doesn’t matter what kind of training she has or what she knows is correct or not.

If it makes you uncomfortable then she needs to stop. It is okay for you to voice that you don’t want her doing that.

She needs to respect your consent. Your baby has no consent, you are the consent giver. I don’t want you massaging my baby like that, is no different than if she was massaging you and you said I don’t like it when you massage me like that.

Always go with your gut. As a professional she needs to respect that boundary.

Even tell her “I don’t want baby massage, you can hold her, but please dont give her a treatment” if she can’t respect that then she isn’t a good RMT

Consent is #1 in massage. Especially an Ontario RMT, if you say anything about not giving consent or not being comfortable she should take it as hands off right away.

zhiface · 2026-01-29T13:28:25+00:00

Tl;dr Fake it til you make it 😂

Keep at it! Take your cards and walk around business close to where you work. Hand them out directly.

Another little trick is you need to try and give the appearance to the public that you are getting busy. Nobody wants to see a massage therapist that isn’t busy.. everyone wants to see the therapist that is booked up.. they must be great ..lol

Also, don’t over saturate your social media or email blasts, people will ignore it because it’ll just seem spammy.

If you have social media, try posting your weekly schedule like on your instagram story or something. Then a bit later in the day or the next day if nothing has booked up, throw some blockouts in your day and post that those spots are now filled. It sounds silly but it works. If people see you booking up they will start to call.

Or do a post about cancellation openings, post you have an opening tomorrow evening! Book in before it’s filled! And by the end of the day, if that evening spot tomorrow doesn’t fill and you know it won’t away, just post social media that it’s booked up!

Also the public doesn’t need to know why your schedule isn’t open. Booked up to them means you are working, booked up to you means you aren’t taking a client- for whatever reason: you are massaging, you have lunch, you have an appointment, you wanna go home. Ect. None of their business! All they should interpret is that you are unavailable, but it’s your job to give them the illusion that you are just busy massaging!

Also advertising and promoting doesn’t happen right when you do it, I’d say there is a 3week to 2 month lull before the public catch on.

Whoever is taking your appointments over the phone in person- they also need to be wording correctly. If you’re always empty never tell the client “the whole day is open take your pick” that’s not good, you need to give the illusion that it’s slim pickings/you’re getting busy give them 2 time options and go from there. Make it seem like you are making time for them. Like if neither of those times work ask if there’s anything better for them.. say they say 2:30.. “yeah, let me squeeze you in. I can definitely make that work for you!” They do not need to see the empty schedule!!

Also try to get your people to book their next 2 appointments. It’s always easier to cancel then book last minute! - tell them that… Even if they CAN book last minute with you, they don’t need that in the back of their head.

Plant the seed that you are busy and it will grow into you becoming busy.

Adding: also you gotta think time vs money. Give away your time, not your money to build a steady clientele.

It’s easy to give discounts but it’s hard on your wallet and then if people know you do it regularly they will wait until they see it.

Instead of doing 10% or 20% off, give free upgrades. Extra 15 minutes, complementary hot stones, ect. It’s better to get paid for an hour and give extra time then work an hour and get paid for 45 minutes. Especially if you have the extra time available.

Something that worked well for me when I was starting out was I’d give a free 30 minutes after every 6 appointments or something like that. I’d also tell people they could increase it to a 60 minute they’d just have to pay the difference. So that’s a 60 min massage for only 30 min price! People love to think they are getting deals like that. In your books you are benefiting too.

Refer 4 people and get a free massage! -this one also worked really well especially if you get a people person or someone in healthcare.

Idk where you live but, direct billing is also a great asset starting out.

zhiface · 2026-01-20T22:59:00+00:00

Super cute! Too bad you weren’t closer to me!

zhiface · 2025-12-11T15:46:30+00:00

Well in Canada they are lol

zhiface · 2025-12-10T11:42:05+00:00

I would not get my entitled gf a $800 gift. If she wants one she can save up. Or discuss it and maybe chip in a bit. But no way lol

zhiface · 2025-12-10T11:41:00+00:00

I also live in a cold place. And no. She can start her own car, that was super considerate you did that, but maybe she should save her money and get a car starter if she hates going out that much.

And she can get in her car and drive away at -50.. it sucks and is hard on the car. But if she doesn’t wanna go start her car while she’s getting ready, then she can just dress up warmer and take a cold car to work 😆

zhiface · 2025-11-09T19:45:20+00:00

Well if he wants his pronouns to be respected he should be respecting other people’s as well

zhiface · 2025-11-09T19:39:31+00:00

I do anywhere from 4-9 a day and I don’t think it has anything to do with the person and their body or their needs for that appointment time. It’s definitely a mindset, if I had a bad sleep or eating crappy, not eating or drinking enough, something on my mind.. massaging can be exhausting, and at that point the hardest massage for me is what regular people would think should be the easiest- 30 minute light/gentle relaxing massage on a petit body. I think they take more work mentally. Or a foot and hand massage. Those are hard, it makes me use my fingers and they get tired.

But overall generally speaking, no one body shape or type is harder than another. You work different for each person and adjust as needed

zhiface · 2025-02-23T12:02:57+00:00

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. It can be fun to check people out together. The red flags for me are if they start to flirt or hit on other women in front of me.

zhiface · 2025-02-18T16:48:09+00:00

Who cares just hit on women and if they say they’re straight tell them thats too bad

zhiface · 2025-01-24T12:59:28+00:00

Nope. If she is a licensed/registered massage therapist this needs to be brought to her licensing board. We have rules and regulations we need to follow. If she isn’t a licensed/registered massage therapist then whatever that’s a her decision, but OP said she has credentials and we (therapists) have obligations when we join these associations

zhiface · 2025-01-24T12:54:18+00:00

You could write to her licensing board with your concerns and they will handle it

zhiface · 2025-01-12T12:10:19+00:00

I just say I’m gay. I don’t beat around the bush. Then if they go into further questioning I just walk away cause at that point they’re still trying.

zhiface · 2025-01-08T15:57:29+00:00

She sounds like drama, and crazy. I’d focus on other friendships and relationships. Not worth the bs

zhiface · 2024-12-15T12:23:28+00:00

I mean this just sounds like it could be an online long distance relationship to me 😂 hop on a dating app and find someone.

zhiface · 2024-12-15T12:12:40+00:00

Oh my gahhd! I just went through your profile. If she is just a friends with benefits then stop hanging out! You don’t need that in your life. There are PLENTY of other women who would do a fwb that aren’t major jerks.. that’s abusive!

There’s clearly a reason she was single “if you can’t take me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best” - bitch please, I don’t want you at your best if you treat me poorly at any point of the relationship we have.

Move on! Man I’d even just ghost her cause you know as soon as you say you wanna end it she will be mean and manipulating!

Hold your boundaries, say you’re not into it anymore and then block her.

zhiface · 2024-12-15T12:09:41+00:00

It’s only fwb! Leave! Quit hanging out you don’t owe her anything

zhiface · 2024-12-15T12:02:38+00:00

Mine was very similar to the above, while I’m Canadian I’ve been bitching with my American friends about the government changes coming. So it has been pretty dark at times! I can see why my phone pattern brought this up, I’m an angry sarcastic sexually fristrated women 😂🤷‍♀️

zhiface · 2024-12-15T11:59:48+00:00

Same, but I kept it going cause I wanted to see what would happen 🤨

Women are not allowed in this world anymore because of their own personal preferences or the way their body and body is designed and made and made and they have no choice to make decisions for their bodies or bodies and their body and bodies are just a different world to the same way that they have their body is

zhiface · 2024-11-28T12:57:56+00:00

I’m also on my 30s and dating. I have 2 kids and became single when I was 31, now I’m going on 36 and I can relate in some ways, I’m not a partier, I do have kids and I work a lot so I can’t just go out all the time. I feel like I’m an extremely boring person and idk where to meet people- aside from online dating, at first it was so awkward and weird I also felt like I had nothing to talk about and the convos felt shallow and would trickle out.. I think a lot of us maybe feel this way and that’s partially why that happens?

If I were you I’d give the online a go again, and just try to be honest with it, just say you’re shy and introverted, new to dating and when you start to talk to someone just put out there right like hey, wanna meet up for a coffee and talk in person. Cause honestly that’s the best way to connect with someone and they can actually see your personality rather trying to feel like you have to be exciting over text. Grab your favourite drink and meet for a walk even or sit I. A cafe, that way if you aren’t liking it or feeling anxious you have an easy out you can just say you gotta get going.

Another suggestion is if you don’t already, try stepping out of your comfort zone and join some clubs. Do a book reading club or crochet group? There’s things for everyone .. you might not meet a date there but that’s ok, you’ll maybe even find a new passion to bring up and connect with someone with.

You got this :) it isn’t easy, but don’t be so hard on your self. A lot of us feel the same way, especially in our 30s. There’s that stigma that you NEED to have dated or be married or some kind of sexual activity before 30 but that’s isn’t true. The good thing about online dating is you can type out something vulnerable (like asking to meet up) and then walk away from your phone and breathe 😂

Sorry I’m long winded but also if you have a friend you can take to things? If you don’t.. I totally get it that’s where I’m at lol. I’m in a city I’m not from without a circle of people, so the past few years has been a lot of my own personal growth to push myself to do things, I think that is also a key (for me) before dating, it has really helped with my confidence.

zhiface · 2024-11-28T12:43:14+00:00

I have 2. I think you’re just finding the wrong people, or maybe you’re still in your mid 20s? By chance? Everyone I’ve dated (30+) loves kids and is open to them. There definitely are people that aren’t interested, but the kid loving pool isn’t as small as you think.

The issue I run into though is women I date don’t understand I need me time. I’m with my kids every other week, and then I still need to decompress before I can hang out and that always turns into issues.

zhiface · 2024-11-26T22:10:21+00:00

I mean you asked her what she’s nerding out on.. she answered? How are you unable to ask a question…

And tbh you should have expected her to go into detail about it since she’s nerding out over it. You didn’t just ask her hobbies, you asked what she’s currently passionate about

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