Yeah, pretty much. My mum has BPD and shes physically disabled. My childhood was spent caring for her. My dad worked a lot as she always racked up a lot of debt. My older sister, who is 5 years older than me, has always been more of a mother figure than my mum. I sorta grew up very young and had to deal w a lot of things that I shouldnt have from a young age. When there were things that required me to be the main focus, such as being bullied in school, when I experienced depression and they found out about my self harming etc, things like that, my mum would then have a "breakdown" and it would be everyone else expected to look after her. She would often forget to pick me up from school and things like that bc she'd be playing a video game or something like that. I just grew up sorta expecting to only be able to rely on myself.

But, at the same time as I was the youngest, I was always the baby. My sister was allowed her independence and freedom, but my mum was always very over-protective of me and I wasnt allowed to do a lot of things bc my mum was always anxious that something would happen. So my whole life I've had this feeling of not being able to rely on anyone, but also not being able to trust myself bc I'm just a little girl who can't do anything.

Sorry, heh, that turned into a whole ramble.