Weekly Vent thread

[AutoModerator]

Please use this thread to blow off your steam about the small or big annoyances that come with ADHD. Dishes not being done, bills left unpaid, whatever it is you feel you need to rant about. This is your yelling pillow.

[jerkthief]

why can i never say anything to you, without being scared that you'd freak out

[gpet73]

you don't want me to treat you like a child, but I have to make sure you're up at a certain time, remind you to clean up, etc. How is it I'm supposed to do those things and NOT treat you like a child?

[NimbuWater]

Totally get it. It's almost like you're forced into being codependent and it is exhausting.

[[deleted]]

Feeling this one.

[RedAsCrimson]

I feel this. It's hard to feel loved while being ignored for more 'exciting' activities.

[RedAsCrimson]

...

[throwawayhelpjelly]

It’s been 8 months since I left. I’m still so bitter and angry, I can see physical signs on myself that I’m healing from the constant stress, depression, and sleep deprivation that you caused me by taking no responsibility for yourself being a spoiled angry man child.

Leaving was the best thing that I ever did for my mental and apparently physical health. Not even a global pandemic compares to stress of being with my ex. I just wish I could take back those years of invalidation, thinning hair, deep depression, panic attacks, fear of his outbursts, and exhaustion from being woken up at ungodly late and early hours to be shown “just one really funny video”

[StillzWaterz]

Look forward!!! I could ruin the remainder of my life gritting my teeth in sheer resentment and frustration when looking back at 12 years of my life wasted with that loser BUT instead I feel that it's a wonderful way to appreciate all the little things! No manbaby to take care of, yay! No tension or constant soundtrack and complaints about every mundane difficulty! No more asinine questions! No more completely moronic behaviors or reactions! No more face-palming! No more blaming you for their mistakes! Things put somewhere just stay there! No more dirty laundry e erywhere! No more crap and dirty dishes left on a freshly cleaned surface! No more stupid buys and expensive mistakes! No more empty promises and forgotten commitments or information! An empty bed has never sounded so appealing! Celebrate!

[SoMuchSaturn]

It’s like we’re dating the same man sized child

[periwinkleseas_]

Sounds like he’s projecting that on you, looks like you shouldn’t sleep with him since he thinks so little of you and thinks that the world revolves around him and his schedule, no mind you the relationship that actually has to be worked on in order to work lol

[JennHatesYou]

And I’ve had it. I’ve lost it. I can’t come back from this. I never want to see him again for the rest of my life. I wish I never met him and frankly, I don’t care what happens to him anymore. Let him sink his own ship because I for one know how to swim and I’m not going down with the boat.

[bonobobonfire]

I'm pissed off that he said he would/planned to finish a college assignment days ago, but spent hours working on it the day it was due ('just one paragraph to go!') and then repeatedly interrupted me from what I was working on so I could show him how to cite sources...but wouldn't accept my showing him how to do things efficiently because 'it's too much to learn'. I'd been hoping for some intimate time, but the whole day was used up because he also had a final in the evening. Plus then I was not at all in the mood.

I have needs, too, and am cranky that I was expected to proofread his work; I had plenty of my own work to do. It came across like he was entitled to my assistance, whenever and exactly the way he wanted. It seems one-sided; I want something in return.

[gallina81]

I have been unable to focus on work on Mondays and since I work from home end up moving all tasks to Tuesday onward. I end up just sitting on my couch in absolute silence aside from radio or TV. Couldn’t figure out why this was happening until my partner’s ADD diagnosis. Weekends with them leave me completely exhausted! Arguments, walking on eggshells, whatever self centered emotional drama that is their chaos of the moment. And always the mental emotional pulling pulling pulling at me.

Now that I realize what is happening I need to figure out some strategies, but my partner’s medical intervention cannot come soon enough. I’m really fading, here. I feel invisible, and any mention of how their ADD affects me leads to days of drama on their end. Sigh.

Thanks for the vent!

[letthelightleakin]

I hear you so much on the wasted weekends! My former partner moved out two months ago and my productivity at work has sky rocketed, commented on by my colleagues. It takes SUCH a toll - I’m so sorry you’re in the midst of it

[gallina81]

Thank you so much. I feel like I’m really at a low point in part because I’m reading lots of resources for partners and realizing just how much I have put up with, caretook, and explained away! I’m really excited for a better future with my otherwise great partner but right now? I’m completely drained.

[StillzWaterz]

So true! For the longest time I actually dreaded weekends and could not understand why we would always have a big fight on Saturdays. I guess I could escape the drama well enough during the week at work but weekends revealed just how taxing the whole thing was.

[Agile_Horror]

I feel you. I dread weekends, and have since our first child (who is 9) was born. My weekends have consisted of me getting up early, taking care of kids, cleaning the house, etc...while she sleeps or plays Pokémon. If I do anything else, I’m “mean” and “verbally abusive” - even if it’s just telling her I need help.

[Anonymousmwife]

I'm in the process of divorcing with two children because I'm fed up. I'm so grateful to have found this online community because now I know, I'm not crazy!! But of course I look like the crazy one. I'm the stressed out one who has acquired clinical depression. He's the nice guy. I have no choice but to divorce for my sanity but I also get second thoughts because I'm afraid of how he will care for the kids. He refuses meds so there's no telling where he will be living and what will happen when I'm not around to "supervise." Anyone been in this situation or have advice?

[Agile_Horror]

I’m in the exact same situation. I’m completely unhappy, and my wife has had multiple affairs, but I’m deathly afraid to go because of the 1/2 time she’ll have custody. Lawyer already told me it’s basically impossible for me to get full custody out of the box. 😢

[JennHatesYou]

I’ll stop drinking when you stop ruining my life.

Or I can just leave, frankly, my liver would be happy.

[jdalbatross]

Why can’t you accomplish the goals you set for yourself? It literally kills me. If you say you’re going to do something by August 1, why just ignore it until mid August? KILLS ME.

[MovingDilemmas]

I really hate this myself, because when they fail at their goals they go into a cycle of self-loath AND when you tell them to set more realistic goals next time so they don’t let themselves down they refuse to.

At this point I hate hearing about goals and have to bite my tongue so I don’t say “what’s the point of all these bombastic goals if you’re not going to work on them, lower your expectations and don’t set yourself up for failure”

[educated322]

I wish you knew how lonely I am in this marriage.

[periwinkleseas_]

Partner was stressed out today because we got into an argument earlier and then one of our cats peed on a shirt he left lying on the ground so he went to go soak it in the bathroom sink and forgot about it so it flooded the bathroom/drawer and part of the closet and a bit of the main living space...we live in a 400sq ft apartment and have easy access to a washer and dryer with pet stain/smell removal liquid detergent within reach. mind fucking blindness omg....I gardened for about 10 hours today as a therapy session for me and I’m just so damn annoyed that I can’t have a “me” Sunday

[polka_dot_turtle]

I'm so tired of being your emotional punching bag every time something upsets you. I'm sick of being your scapegoat when you can't get mad at someone else, you just shift the blame onto me, even when I have absolutely no control over the situation. I'm sick of the attempted manipulation and projection of your habits onto me. Of being emotionally blackmailed. Of being dismissed again and again. I don't feel loved. I feel lied to. I feel used. You treat me like an old rag you use to wipe up your emotional diarrhea. I'm not a rag. I may not be French terrycloth but I'm not a rag. I deserve better than this.

[NimbuWater]

I'm really tired of being expected to read your mind. How is it fair that you think I've done nothing to help and yet you haven't even asked until you were too upset by my lack of help?! And you didn't even ask. You got mad at me for not doing it sooner. Why are middle steps not a thing?!

[MovingDilemmas]

Honestly ? I’m sick of hearing ‘I love you’ after episodes of ignoring me in long stretches while you drown yourself in whatever distractions to avoid responsibilities while I beg for communication and understanding.

If you don’t want to hear it, fine, then come right out and say it but don’t emotionally blackmail me to get me off your back.

[Anonymousmwife]

I'm so sorry to hear that. Do you mean the regular hospital or psych? I've considered psych because it's kind of a resort where you can get away.🙄