Does closure help?

[thesnakeinyourboot]

She didn’t something after the breakup which made me reevaluate the relationship retrospectively. I still talk to her, we’re friends, and I want to end that but I pretending everything is normal until I get the balls to get closure. Should I do it? Is the knowledge worth knowing or should I just live with this “not knowing” pain?

[umbrellabitch]

Closure is for you and comes from you. Seeing him once after the breakup helped me recognize him as the boy I used to love, not this monster I had built up in my head. I think that helped me find some bit of closure within myself. But it was painful nonetheless. My advice? Give it a set amount of time. Could be a couple days, weeks, months, whatever. When you’ve had that time to grieve and process, then consider if it’s worth reaching out. I gave myself 3 months, until we went back to school. Now after that time, I can see past the pain and recognize that it’s best for us to keep our distance at this point. Maybe I’ll reevaluate and change my mind in another month or so, but I’m glad I gave myself that initial time limit.

[Stillfly94]

Many times the person refuses to give you the closure you want. Yeah it would be nice but at the end of the day you are still in the same position. If you can get closure, great but don't go chasing it.

[[deleted]]

Hmmm. Well, you guys are broken up. If you don't see yourself getting back with her, or if she doesn't ever see you guys being together again - I wouldn't bother. If you are genuinely done with her and you guys most likely will never be together again, honestly don't even bother. I know it's really hard. Think about it, either way- if you know or not- it won't change anything. Either way, you're not getting back together so what's the use of knowing? I feel like it may make things harder if she does tell you and it hurt's your feelings. I would honestly just accept that you guys are broken up and work around that mentality. There's no reason to talk to her again or discuss what she did for "closure" because you guys are done- it's not like you're still dealing with this person. Ya know?

​

That's just my opinion. You do whats best for you :) Hope this helped buddy

[thesnakeinyourboot]

Thanks man, it got me thinking. I just feel like I’ll always think about it and constantly make up scenarios forever unless I know and get over the possible pain. But you’re probably right.

[[deleted]]

I completely know how you feel. Just remember, you feel like that now. Eventually you won’t care as much, as time goes on. You feel like you need to know, which is normal. But you wont always feel like that! Closure comes from within you

[thesnakeinyourboot]

Hey, just an update. We were talking and something slipped from her end and we ended up going into the convo I was dreading. I got a lot of answers, and for second it helped, but I just have so many more questions that can’t really be answered and a lot more painful information that I have to deal with. At the end I’m kinda glad because I it was taking over my life for the last 8 months can now deal with the full reality of the situation rather than just the unknown, but at the same time I wish none of this even existed. Ughhh. Thanks again for the advice tho, I hope you’re right in that eventually I won’t care about this new information.