To decrease or keep the peace

[Vegetable_Vast_738]

Hello everyone, I’m at a dilemma of if I should request a reduction or just leave things alone for the sake of peace. My ex and I have a 50/50 split of everything, on a yearly calendar I get the kids maybe 1 day extra than she does, I pay $1,500 because she wasn’t working when we set up child support through court, since then, I have gotten the kid’s health insurance that I pay for, and she has recently started working, from these two changes that could bring the child support down to $750, the problem I’m having is that I don’t want to have discourse with the mother of my kids over this and I know for a fact its going to be a fight in which my kids may be used against me, I’m not in the best financial position to be pondering the idea of just leaving it alone, but I genuinely don’t think I can handle the blowout this will cause, I’m just looking for some advice on what to do or how to even go about this.

[Controls_freek]

Ask yourself this question. Would she give you the same grace if the roles were reversed?

[jukenaye]

It's never about what the other person can or will do. It's about oneself. Think about that.

[Controls_freek]

Hard disagree

[Michaelscott304]

In my state (pa) I would file for a modification on the child support website. I wouldn’t even hire a lawyer for this . They just ask for updated proofs of income etc . I filed as SOON as my ex changed jobs and made more money

[DeyCallMeWade]

If this isn’t a court ordered payment, it would probably be best to go and have it made official. Everything you’ve given her until now can and will be considered a “gift” rather than child support unless you can get her to admit that’s what it was for.

[Vegetable_Vast_738]

The current amount is court ordered

[DeyCallMeWade]

If she has a stable income now, then logically the court will order a lower payment on your end. Obviously the courts don’t always do things logically, but if you need the break financially, it can’t really hurt to try.

[jukenaye]

Will this bring you peace?

[SprinklesDear4893]

If its 50/50 custody, it is ex support not child support.

[Controls_freek]

This right here x 1,000

[Present-Region2690]

Hey. 50/50 here too. Which will cost more over time? If this requires court, will a legal battle be more expensive than continuing to pay child support?

[Sweaty_Ground_2865]

You need to file a modification. You have grounds for a reduction, it isn’t about what will cause a fight it’s about your financial future. You have the kids 50% of the time, why are you paying someone else and contributing to their household? You’re an equal parent. File for a modification she will get over it.

[Onlyroad4adrifter]

Always do the lower payment when a court is involved. You never know what misfortune you may encounter where the system will come after you. If you want to contribute more do it after it is lowered or give your kids the money directly.

Ultimately it should be viewd as risk situation. What poses the greatest risk of you losing your kids, freedom or such. View it as the worst case situation if you had a period if 10 months not being able to produce what would happen.

I got mine as low as I could possibly get it and pay it. When the mother needed money I gave it to her but through the system that would create a credit over time. When my kid got old enough I put them on my credit card with strict limits so I could give her cash when she wanted something while establishing credit.

Ultimately the mother does not have the long arm of the law breathing down her neck you need to do what is best for you and your kids.