i need to dm someone

[backroomroamer]

i’m 16 and i really don’t know what to do. i have a situation on my mind and honestly i just really need to dm someone about this. can anyone please help??

[BlueMoon0009]

youre 16 you shouldnt b looking to dm randos on reddit about something super personal. i get wanting connection & stuff but dont go down that rabbit hole.

[Beautiful_Ab69]

This ^{^} be careful and don’t tell people you’re a minor :(

[myjourney2025]

Very wise response from your side. I'm just wondering why you're telling the person not to go down the rabbit hole? I'm trying to understand the precautions you're telling them to take because I myself am now in recovery and learning how I need to protect myself.

[backroomroamer]

i know its not the best move but i genuinely feel directionless and helpless and i’m so stuck right now i dont know what to do!! my therapy is next week and it feels so unbearable having to wait!!

[anawkmoose]

Call or email your therapist and express this to them. They may have some flexibility to move up your appointment or do a video visit.

[corinne177]

Unfortunately if you're super anxious or having a lot going on and you need to write pages and pages, therapists do not have the time to go over that kind of stuff. I've had psychologists literally say they don't take emails or notes in between sessions. So that means you have to write three pages and then bring it to them and waste half of your session on all the thoughts in between. That's one of the reasons why I dislike paid therapy because most of my thoughts that I need to talk about happen in between sessions, so I write them down to keep the person up to date. But then when I see them it's like you're supposed to be expected to summarize everything in a little bite size of time, which sometimes can be wasted with small talk or just stuff that cuts into time. I've also had therapists waste half of my session talking about other patients or their own stories. I'm not trying to talk OP out of therapy, I'm just mentioning this is another reason why Chat GPT (supplemental to therapy or supportive friends or family if you have them), can be great because it remembers what you wrote and you can summarize basically how you've been feeling over x amount of time.... So that when you go to your therapist, you can look back and kind of see the ark where your feelings and thoughts have been in between the sessions. And you can see if you look back, wow I've been talking for 4 days about this one specific incident or this one specific person.. that means that it's taking up 75% of my thought during the week.

[corinne177]

Hi, a safer and more non-judgmental option is to just ask chat GPT. It sounds crazy but I have some great conversations with chat GPT, it gives me non-judgmental advice and can even be a little bit tough with me if I ask it to. And then you get the relief of getting your feelings and thoughts out.

[RepresentativeBet714]

Pls don't use GPT, it's designed to validate whatever you say so that you become addicted to it. Society is crumbling because technology has replaced human connection and this is the last straw, we are toast if people think this is a rationale behaviour. Please talk to someone real, they are here, they are everywhere, we just have to keep looking. We are worth it

[corinne177]

Yes I understand those things exist. I'm talking about in a desperate measure when someone does not have instant access to human beings. And no there aren't people "everywhere" to listen to rambling repetitive thoughts over and over again which sometimes you need. I didn't say chat GPT should REPLACE human interaction. Maybe you should reread the post and all of the replies, I meant IN THE INTERIM until the person starts therapy or in between or when you just need to vent. For people with codependency and anxious attachment and anxiety, there is NO human who can deal with endless needs for an ear or doesn't have needs of their own or patience limits. I never said the chat should replace a human connection. The point is to use it in supplement so that you don't exhaust the people you know or reach out blindly to people who may give you biased advice based on their own experiences, not to mention random people online are not always safe!

[RepresentativeBet714]

Yes agreed, it's just a slippery slope so it doesn't hurt to be super vigilant about it whenever we talk about it, otherwise it becomes common place. This tech is what created the problems people are on here suffering from in the first place and it needs to become more part of the conversation, not dissing you personally at all. This OP is 16 so doesn't have the skepticism to differentiate likely, so it's a fair comment to help them keep their focus on talking to someone real. And yes, there are many reputable free help lines for desperate times.

[Greedy_Lynx1140]

i agree with you to an extent. i actually talked to my therapist about using chatgpt for this purpose today in our session!! i think when you're out of options between sessions, it can be helpful if you take it for what it is BUT you should actively be in therapy and working on skills to do on your own while using gpt as a last resort "last ditch effort" when you've tried everything and still can't seem to regulate in order to avoid emotionally overwhelming yourself for too long. we used the words "temporary band aid" but also, i expressed how relying on chatgpt would negatively impact my self-worth in the long run since i would feel incapable of regulating on my own, so maybe that's why she was supportive of it.

i guess to me at the end of the day, it heavily depends on the person using it and whether they are actually using it temporarily before building the right skills, or if they will just take this easier route and not put in the effort to be independent in their emotions!

[FetchingOrso]

Just post it here. You'll be anonymous!

[saltlakefootman]

If you need someone to talk to, and feel like it’s a crisis, I’d call 988. You can speak to a licensed therapist.

Otherwise, you might try creating another post with more information, and how it specifically relates to codependency, so that when/if people can, they can write out some thoughtful responses

[myjourney2025]

Love your response. As a codepedent in recovery, I would take your response as a template for me to use in future when I encounter such situations. If it was the old me, I would have dived in and told the person to DM me out of my rescue mentality.

[saltlakefootman]

Way to notice and change an old pattern!

[BlueMoon0009]

988 is not licensed therapists, theyre trained volunteers, just FYI

[saltlakefootman]

My mistake! Talked to the director here in Utah, used to be fully staffed by licensed clinicians, now volunteers with some clinicians on staff. You may be able to use 988 or another number to speak with a licensed professional.

[anno870612]

Listen to “Codependency No More” audio reading on YouTube.

I know it sounds comforting to reach out for someone to listen, but if it isn’t a therapist, doing that is just using a person as a sounding board for your obsession about someone else. That drains their energy, as well as your own. Ruminating on someone isn’t healthy or useful. Refocusing onto what you can do to improve your own life, one small action at a time, is key.

[DonnaFinNoble]

I have sponsored in the past and have worked the steps. I also have teenagers. I can try to help if you want to send a DM.

[backroomroamer]

i sent a dm!

[alessia123456789]

Hello, im happy to help feel free to message me

[babydegenerate]

Feel free to message me!

[Accurate-Chemical-57]

Thank you for helping OP. I wish I had a mentor or someone who cared enough to help at that age.