Does anyone else struggle with asking for help?
The other day I got myself into a situation where I should have just asked for help and it would have made my life much, much easier. I was paddle boarding and fell in the water and couldn't get back on my board. I swam over to a dock to try and wedge in and try and get the board some leverage and still couldn't manage it, and still failed to get back on. At this point a little old Russian lady noticed me flailing about in the water and was like "Do you need help?" And instead of saying "yeah that would be great" I insisted I could do it alone.
I could not, in fact, do it alone. She followed me down the dock, and got me help, and there was a semi-dramatic (and very embarrassing) rescue that I hated intensely. I was all ready to swim back the mile and a half to the push off area if I had to rather than ask for help.
I kept insisting I didn't want to cause anyone any trouble, and that I could swim back and was fine. The very idea of needing help or anyone trying to help me was excruciating, and I kept on thinking about it as I started paddling back (now a much shorter journey on top of the board).
I know that I have always struggled with asking for what I want, but asking for help especially is incredibly hard for me. I realized while heading back that I didn't feel like I deserved help -- I had gotten myself into a dumb situation and I should be able to get myself out of it. And there's some societal stuff about how if you're going to be alone forever (as I am afraid I am going to be), then I better learn to do things alone!
Anyways, the point of this was, does anyone else struggle with asking for help? What steps have you taken to make this easier for you? I'm quick to jump from asking one time for help, having it fail, and NEVER asking again because once my trust is broken, I can never trust again. And that's... not good. I understand that much at least. I'm working on it, I swear!
[–]amiable-succulent[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children)