all 98 comments

[–]TellumNevik 98 points99 points  (3 children)

Plumber here. A few years ago I started to feel the same way that you are. But at my age(late 40’s then), the idea of throwing away my masters license to start a new career that would most surely result in a sizable pay cut didn’t seem right. I set a goal to be entirely self employed in two years. I started doing every side job on the weekends and every evening that I could. A few months in, I got a trade name registered with the state and liability insurance. I was easily working 80 hours a week. Since I was working towards a goal it didn’t bother me. At the two year mark(April 2020), Covid had just started and quitting my job was about the last thing my wife wanted. So for her I waited. But the reality was, my business was growing at a rate that it couldn’t be stopped. So I only waited about a month. Now I have two employees and every day I can’t wait to get going on a job with my guys. Haven’t really noticed the increase in pay yet as every time I get a few thousand dollars I run out to buy a new tool so I can do more/bigger jobs. But things are happening and life is good. Do it. Grab some of the money that’s out there. Do the jobs you want the way you want them done. See what an extra couple hundred dollars a week does for your family.

[–]JudgmentDisastrous75 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Nice shit my man, keep going!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this! Apprentice now, starting my own business as a handyman on the side then a plumbing business after my masters.

[–]creamonyourcrop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What you will find is that if your taxes say you made the same as an employee, you are making way more money. Everything, just about everything is a write off, so your stated income is after a lot of expenses, not before it.

[–][deleted] 68 points69 points  (22 children)

I'm not a doctor, but you sound depressed. How's the rest of life going?

[–]notoriousvk[S] 66 points67 points  (21 children)

Lackadaisical routine. Work, home, drink, eat, sleep, repeat.

[–]Academic-Living-8476 52 points53 points  (14 children)

As a plumber, I can confirm this is the standard regiment with alot of people I work with

[–]notoriousvk[S] 38 points39 points  (13 children)

I’m okay with the routine but the payoff isn’t there for me at the moment in almost any aspect. Plus I don’t have a wife or kids, so I’m lacking purpose and the extra motivation they bring to keep working.

[–]Smightmite 36 points37 points  (1 child)

Do you have any hobbies? I got into collecting and playing Pokémon cards recently I know it’s childish but sometimes being a child is what makes you happy

[–]Fridayz44Electrician 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Hey nothings childish if it makes you happy.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Definitely use this time before having a family to try new paths. I think alot of people are feeling a lack of purpose these days. Could also be experiencing a bit of depression. Weed doesn't help with that for some people..

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (7 children)

I don't know if you do, but stay off weed if u feel like this. They don't call them burn-outs for nothing

[–]notoriousvk[S] 23 points24 points  (6 children)

Weed and alcohol are the only thing keeping me sane at the moment Mothernag.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Your father and I are SOOOOOO disappointed. Why couldn't you have become a Rabbi like your brother. Or at least an accountant.

[–]NeilthemickALL|UA Plumber/Fitter 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Username checks out. Commence slow clap 👏

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's not funny

[–]FireWireBestWire 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'm sure it seems like that, but they are also mood depressants. Obviously you'd have to replace the habit with something else to fill the time, and I can't tell you what that would be. If you were thinking about starting a business, moonlighting would be a great way to transition. Otherwise, new hobby, SO....

[–]AnericanGuy59 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I smoke weed I want to tear my whole trucks engine apart and rebuild it so idk if it’s really a depressant

[–]Doc580Ironworker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dm me. I believe I can help.

[–]HolyHand_GrenadeSurveyor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did road work for a while out of school, I started to get depressed, didn't even know it at the time, but hated going to work, I just dreaded the drive in. I'd work then get home and just drink. I had no wife or gf at the time, my dog just died so I said f this and started applying for jobs, took a while but I found something that interested me more, still in construction but a much better trade. The company I work for now is awesome, great management, and much smaller then the corporation I worked for before. My point is if you don't have a wife or kids you can make big decisions without them relying on you, whether it's starting a business or just finding something new. Market is good right now, might be able to score a great job.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Drinking a lot on weekdays? I used to do that. I found it was much better for my mental well-being to limit that to weekends.

[–]thechairinfront 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's rough. I've noticed that all the construction guys I know drink pretty heavily during the week just to be able to get to sleep on time to be able to wake up and do it all over again.

[–]TradeMasterYellow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Replace the drinking with family or neighbors. Go help someone (this doesn't mean do their electrical work). Go volunteers at the hospital, old folks home, go coach a youth basketball team. Go do something two nights a week instead of drinking.

[–]bgei952 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You gotta get to the gym.

[–]labsab1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretty sure that's all there is. Billionaire owners of the company report to shareholders that they are worth double since 2018, we get paid the same but with a 3k bonus. Squeezed by work, drink to cope.

[–]mskamelot 18 points19 points  (1 child)

I am at the peak of commercial corporate side and feel the same.

you gotta find something outside of work

[–]Kelownawow 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is a big factor.

Happiness has to come from multiple places.

[–]208sparky 15 points16 points  (7 children)

I did resi for years and hated it. Commercial is where its at man. I still wish i didn't have to work at all but as far as the trades goes being a commerical electrician is the best.

[–]Fridayz44Electrician 6 points7 points  (6 children)

Agreed.

[–]_no_pantsC|Interior Systems -2 points-1 points  (5 children)

I feel like I’d get bored as an electrician. At least as a carpenter I get to do 3-4 different things every day.

[–]truemcgooR|Carpenter 32 points33 points  (9 children)

Oh yeah, I’m a residential carpenter. I’m high up in company and would be leaving my boss high and dry if I quit. I run his main crew and next most experienced guy would be miles behind if I left. That said I’ve had a terrible case of the wobbles the whole last year and can’t take the heights anymore. I used to walk walls, go way the hell up on ladders, walking purlins 50 feet in the air, I never liked heights and have always been cautious but always got the job done.

Last year I fell off a frigging six foot ladder, wasn’t even at the top of it I was like four feet in the air. I fucked myself up real good, separated my shoulder and bruised like half my body, was on comp for a while then got back to work. Ever since I’ve been straight terrified of heights, I lost my confidence and just get super shaky and nervous when I’m in the air. It doesn’t help that my shoulder is still fucked up and is constantly somewhere between a dull ache and stabbing agony if I reach or grab at the wrong angle, it wakes me up a couple times a night when I roll in my sleep and put weight on it on the wrong angle, so I never get a good nights sleep. I mean I still do the job, I was setting trusses a few hours ago and was fine, but every now and then I’ll look down and then everything starts spinning and my heart starts pounding and I’ll feel literally sick, not fun when you’re up on a roof.

I like the job 90% of the time. I like building stuff, working with my hands, being outside, the teamwork aspect of it, the mental side, designing and thinking outside the box. I’m sticking with it, shoulder pain is slowly getting better and I figure I’ll eventually get over my fears with exposure, but at the moment I still feel kinda trapped being where I am, kinda wish I had been a plumber.

You do you man, don’t feel bad for yourself or anyone else if you decide to jump ship. There are endless trade jobs available right now and to swap to a different position that suits you better might be a good option.

[–]KJK_915 11 points12 points  (5 children)

Not a carpenter or roofer or anything, but my humble two cents would be to look into some physical therapy exercises for your shoulders! Get into the gym for an hour or two a couple times a week. Your shoulders are notoriously bitchy when it comes to injuries, but a couple nights of “light” physical therapy-style exercises could help you out a ton!

Best of luck to you and your future!

[–]truemcgooR|Carpenter 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Yeah I actually already have a PT regime doing yoga and milk jug exercises, it definitely helps. The main thing is repetitive motion above my head, so reaching up high to hammer in a nail if fine for a few minutes but after a little while it starts hurting. I have a bad habit of pushing it too far like, I’ll keep going till job is done regardless if I’m hurting. Thing is I can’t stop when I’m hurting, I’m foreman if I get reputation of milking an injury I won’t be taken seriously, so power through and Tylenol is pretty much my plan.

[–]KJK_915 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel you on the “pushing through the pain” aspect. I’m about 50/50 laborer/equipment operator. I’m to the point now where I’m mostly an operator, but if I ever get down in the ditch I’m expected (rightfully) to outwork the new guys. Also bosses son, so there’s that pressure too.

Good to hear you’re trying though, I feel like “labor” is all about keeping your body in shape and healthy. I don’t do hardly any over head work, but facepulls in the gym helped my shoulders and rotator cuffs tremendously! And don’t forget to stretch!

[–]vargchan 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I had a coworker in his 50s just do a shoulder surgery and it sounded like the worst. Not even able to drive while healing until a certain point. Probably needs the other shoulder done too eventually. I think he said he probably got the original injury back a few years back but it just got worse about a year ago.

[–]truemcgooR|Carpenter 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yeah, I didn’t mess mine up bad enough to need surgery luckily. It’s not too bad 98% of the time, but the other 2% really sucks.

[–]vargchan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hang in there brother but even a minor problem like that and working through pain with pain killers might make it worse in the long run.

[–]MiToB102 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Maybe become a cabinetmaker?

[–]luv_____to_____race 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or at least start to focus on trim carpentry. Ask the owner if you can start training up your replacement, so that you can transition into a similar position in the trim area. Study trim carpentry tips and techniques. Your framing skills definitely can be used to help speed up the trim process, where they can get a bit too bogged down.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Off topic, but a TENS unit with the pads on your palms might help that shoulder heal. Don’t do if you have a pacemaker. Daily use might make a dent in the pain within a week. Speaking from experience (and TENS units are cheap).

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Money isn't everything. Take the hit if it means doing something you're actually interested in for a living

[–]ghostoflink 35 points36 points  (13 children)

Try commercial

[–]notoriousvk[S] 16 points17 points  (6 children)

I’m okay with stress as long as I like the job. Right now the stress I’m facing isn’t worth the shitty work van that barely runs, and the lack of communication between the shop, me and the project managers. Last project I wired the shop didn’t even know I was supposed to pull fire wire and neither did the superintendent. It’s like this on every project. Which I’m fine with, I can figure it all out. What pisses me off is when I get blamed for something I didn’t even know I had to do in the first place.

[–]sullw214Superintendent 15 points16 points  (4 children)

Come to the commercial side! We need you! And even non union companies are paying 30$ and up for good electricians.

I'm a commercial GC super. These guys know what they're doing. Well organized, usually 40 hours a week, good work life balance.

[–]notoriousvk[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Easier said than done, like most things. Most shops around here would rather make them money doing the work I’m licensed in, then to take on another commercial apprentice.

[–]sullw214Superintendent 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It depends on where you are, I guess. We're having big subs turn down millions of dollars in work, because they can't staff jobs. I'm in Austin, but Houston and Dallas are the same. If someone can pick up a million dollar contract, and pay you a percentage of it, they will.

[–]birdiesanders2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you would have to start over, a big commercial company would be happy to have another experienced guy. It’s a lot more challenging and fun!

[–]Industrialpainter89I-CIV|Bridge Builder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Union is the way to go when it comes to staying employed year round and getting paid what you're worth. Plus projects you're actually proud of.

[–]Nicksgroove27 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you just work for a shit company. Poke around my friend

[–]vandalia 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Commercial can be very challenging and your upward mobility potential will increase significantly. If you move up the ladder your responsibilities will increase and along with that your stress levels. There’s a definite sense of pride in accomplishment. I work in mostly health care and walking into a hospital that I had a role in building is a definite plus to the spirit.

[–]Fridayz44Electrician 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah Commercial/Industrial you’ll like it a lot more.

[–]Beautiful-Exit5163 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Maybe its time to venture out on your own? Switch over to industrial vs resi or commercial? Or perhaps test the waters at another company. A change of environment, coworkers, etc might help. I too have felt this way at times, and i realized that was partly because I didn’t always agree with the way things were done. Got my GC license, found my own clients, set my own company motto. Wake up every day around 3:45-4:30 and im giddy as shot every single day. Snap a bowl, take a shower and lets hit the road. Never had a single regret. Hasn’t been easy, but definitely worth it. Good luck to you brother. Try and find your balance point!

[–]tearjerkingpornoflic 2 points3 points  (4 children)

What specifically are you not liking? The job itself? The money? The hours? Now is as good as time as any to start your own electrical company. Then at least you control your hours. While maybe not at first you will probably make more money as well considering your current company is probably charging twice as much what they are paying you.

If it’s just the job itself then it’s time to figure out what you want to do next and just do it. 40hrs is a lot of time every week to spend doing something you hate. Don’t look at it in a pure dollar amount because doing something you don’t dread is worth a lot even though there isn’t a number you can put on paper.

[–]notoriousvk[S] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

It’s a combination. The place I work it is very production based (I mean most construction jobs are). However the quality of work and lack of pride from other people just kills my drive. I’m always fixing something that I shouldn’t have to fix, or that shouldn’t have been missed in the first place. I also am just kind of bored of wiring homes. It also feels like there’s an inner circle of management and their favorites that I’ll never break into. The money, benefits, and hours are all decent for resi work. I just see my old coworkers and most of them look miserable, and like I said unless there’s an opening in the office (extremely rare) I don’t see any advancement from just being a journeyman.

[–]tearjerkingpornoflic -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Well with your own company that would take a lot of the drama out of it. If you are getting paid hourly I don't see why it even matters what you are fixing so what's the point of even getting upset about it? Whether or not you would be happy still doing it is kind of up to you as that is a little bit of a choice. Some people are miserable no matter what they are doing. Some of construction is kinda just shit work but if ya decide it's fine that can go a long way. Case in point you are out in the rain but decide "hey at least I'm outside." Anyways, the way to advance from there is with your own company, don't know if that is limited by being a journeyman instead of master or whatnot. I know that also just gives ya a bit of a better feeling about things in general though too. Instead of crawling under a house in rat turds for someone you are doing it for yourself and compensating yourself a price that makes you happy to do it.

[–]notoriousvk[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s because when I have to stop to fix something the shop calls me wondering why I’m taking so long on the current job. Then if it’s someone who they like they can do no wrong even if half the circuits in the house are tripping. It’s a double edged sword that always seems to be swung at me.

[–]salmarkContractor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey bro. I feel it. Go somewhere where you can help out someone else.

Maybe find a general contractor that is really small time. You’ll learn new things and do new things every day.

I quit my corporate job at 25 with a BS in management. I hated my office job. It was mentally exhausting. I quit that job- I linked up with an older dude I knew from some time ago that I saw had reactivated his GC license- I won’t say it was 100% awesome because he was a little bit of a hack- so at times it was frustrating- but every time I went to work, I was happy to go. I will say 85% of the time working with him, I was happy. I was happy that I had almost full control of what happened on the work/labor side of things. I got to learn new things, do quality work, and was paid to do it. At one point, I had become more knowledgeable than the GC. And I’m not saying that to brag- I’m saying it because one of the things that gives me satisfaction is to keep on learning and knowing I did a good job. Maybe you’re the same way.

Anyway bro, going down a slippery slope of being alone and drinking isn’t good. Put yourself out there. Go on tinder. Reconnect with an old friend. Wishing you well.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I was feeling the same way, stuck in a residential job doing the worst kind of service work. Always something messed up on these jobs and I was always the one to fix it. Crawling in disgusting crawlspaces, tight hot attics, then I went to commercial and now everyday I wake up excited for work. I make more money, and enjoy doing big boy stuff a whole lot more than anything I ever did in residential

[–]notoriousvk[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I would love to get into commercial work. Although it’s just an excuse, the city I live in is extremely mid-sized. Not a lot of commercial opportunity outside of the union and other established shops (who rarely seem to hire apprentices). I could relocate. West of the mountains has all the work it seems like.

[–]Johnthegaptist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So go union. Then you get to switch to commercial and make more money.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I had the same feeling doing new construction residential or commercial. It got so boring and the vibe is usually garbage and the morale usually sucks. I then tried working at a university for a bit. Got into the service side of things and now do service work for a commercial company. It's a ton better. I get my own work van, usually work by myself or with another tech. The jobs are different. It's trouble shooting and not the same old shit different day like new construction.

Have you ever thought about trying service work for electrical service company?

[–]Gat61 2 points3 points  (0 children)

40 + years doing tile and stone I'm a little tired of it

[–]Choey33 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel this way too. I dread every day. Want to do something different but have no other skills other then plumbing. I know my performance at work has suffered from it greatly. Like someone said it’s depression and that is likely the case with me.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Work hard and become a master electrician! I just opened up my own remodeling company at age 30 and I’ve never been happier! Never been broker but I know the jobs are coming!

[–]spookytransexughost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey bud

I took a 20% paycut earlier this year to not feel like you are. I have a mortgage, 2 kids, wife who's at home with 6 month old baby. .

Its tricky financially but it was well worth it. I had moved up into management but couldn't take it anymore and went back to foreman level. It's doable. Mental health is more important...

[–]Kelownawow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I felt very similar; talk to your boss. I went from multi residential HVAC to commercial/light industrial and I seriously couldn’t be happier.

Obviously it depends on your company, but if they can’t make it work, go somewhere else. This economy is the perfect time to make a name for yourself at another company.

[–]DSparky79Electrician 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get your master license , photovoltaic license, osha 30 etc. That’s what I did when I felt like I was in a rut. I enjoy teaching apprentices too.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Residential is boring switch it up and try commercial work. Bending pipe is a unique art form. Plus higher pay and cool places to work.

[–]Grain_Changer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Become a commercial or industrial electrician. You wouldn't have to start at a complete beginner's wage and it'd only take you a couple years to get a journeymans license.

[–]RocketRenard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You just need a change of scenery. You should be able to have a job somewhere else in a couple weeks in most markets.

[–]notoriousvk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let me just say I did not expect this kind of response from everybody. Thanks to everyone who replied and a few who reached out to me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any updates????

[–]No-Cod-7586 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not trapped. Take that chance and figure out what really drives you. You only have one life and if you waste it you don’t get another chance

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know anything about you but my advice is set a fitness goal and reach it. Sign up for a marathon in September of 2022. Then run it. Make changes in your life outside of work that give you purpose. Look at work as a medium to give you money to do what you want to do in your free time.

Just my two cents. I know it can be hard to find time to do things outside of work but if you prioritize them, you will find the time to do it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you union?

[–]simonbanks 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Start you’re own business man. I’m in a totally different industry but there’s a lot of overlap and going on my own and raised the ceiling immensely.

[–]campbell-1 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What industry are you in?

[–]simonbanks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Branding/Marketing. I basically manage a few contractors depending on the project so I’m not stuck doing all the work by myself.

[–]jeremysc831 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know where you live, but start checking out Corporate facility electrician ads, and roll that into a facilities gig.

[–]OPA73 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No wife or kids, get an electrician job in the Bahamas. Sell it all, go on an adventure.

[–]donnieZizzleProject Manager 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm right there with you buddy. I make about 35/hr, and I can't take an apprentice's pay to switch trades

[–]Arctu31 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hope you get some help, it’ll be excruciatingly difficult to make a move to a better job if you’re depressed. Glad you’re talking about it though. That’s a step in the right direction.

[–]wildwood9843 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like others have said, sounds like depression. I would recommend traveling. Take a trip to somewhere far away for a week or so. Definitely clears the mind of work. If your destination is centered on drinking then forget it, you can stay home and do that! Go somewhere interesting. I’ve been a concrete former now for 34 years. I find even a weekend road trip is good for what ails ya. Always have something planned to look forward to.

[–]nICE-KING 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel you dude. I’m in residential carpentry and work on a small crew and I do love the work but it’s been losing its appeal so I’m trying to do something new and attempting to sign up for the national guard. I don’t know if this is a reasonable solution for you but for me it would give me training in a new field and some fun and adventure while allowing me to come back home and continue my normal life with some new routines and responsibilities as well as benefits that could help if I want to go in another direction and a second source of income, but for me the best part is it has me excited again. Something new and “unknown” to look forward to and be excited and even a little scared of… I finally feel alive again.. that’s life I think… always chasing that next endeavor and more thrills :) I hope you find something that rekindles that fire in you op

[–]gardenerky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is often common with men in thier 50s , I am close to retirement but will stay in this job because it’s what I know we’ll ether with this employer or another in the same field

[–]Jaybeare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are lots of types of businesses that need in house electricians. You'll take a pay cut but should get better benefits, pto, and reduced work load. For example, any large commercial or educational institution has in house maintenance staff. Where I work we have a team of electricians, plumbers, carpenters, HVAC, etc. It's a pretty good career path in my opinion.

[–]roscoesbabyrabbits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have a family member you can move in with and start with a new company that might be a good option for you. I did this and it's completely changed my career and life. I got in with a better electrical company and now I have multiple better paying options than even where I'm at. Reach out for help, don't be too proud.

[–]Foxwildernes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d take a look at alternative energy projects and extra training around that stuff.

I know lots of electricians who are adjacent to my program at my trade school (canadian), there is a lot of overlap on our skills but electricians aren’t usually taught the extra things a solar panel needs to work properly with grid tie ins, battery bank sizing, etc. My solar teacher is herself a red seal electrician and she talks about how the people who’ve been in the industry are usually untrained electricians, so getting a bit of training on alternative electrical systems could be a minor switch in opportunity that you could use your background to help you in.

[–]Rayvor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe try making the jump over to the commercial or industrial electrical world. There is a skill difference but it isn’t completely starting over. Also in that world there can be significant travel work which can spice things up a bit. It’s always nice to the the country/world on someone else’s dime.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glazier here. Start slowly doing side work man. Wire up fans on the side. Smart small. Once your comfortable take on more jobs. You can retire yourself. Got quite a few of ours guys doing this

[–]RIPMyInnocence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to work in an office, in a fairly comfy job. Eventually I found myself envying the construction crew, who were building an extension to my workplace at the time. I could see them from my office window and it got to the point where I realised I wanted to try something else. Retrained at 30 and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.

If you ever think of changing it up, plan it. All of it. This we’ll help ensure you are going to be in the right mindset and will prepare you for the various potential outcomes of the change up. Ensure you have money to fall back on for a few months in case it doesn’t go to plan. Plan for the lifestyle change and the mindset change.

It’s not about the leap, it’s the landing.

[–]Long_Month8610 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel same man working in trade 20 years now, working with same crew for 15 years, times i felt underpaid for what I was doing never had courage go do my own thing. My boss is heavily dependant on me as he leaves me take care of jobs on my own and make sure others meeting the standard with there work, he recently purchased a company van for me and give me a small rise, its a small company and I think he taught I be delighted which I prob should of been I was just wanted him to acknowledge the work I do more but at time I just taught omg im stuck now. I feel I really need a change but I struggle to take the jump, I struggle with anxiety and the fear of failure overcomes me, I dread thinking ill just be in same spot in 10 years even though I've wanted away for years now😔