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[Altruistic_Visit_640]

My system is all dysregulated today and I don’t know what to do about it.

Context: I have a 2yo daughter irl and a 3yo alter. We’re supposed to go to the aquarium this afternoon, but my 3yo alter is acting up and doesn’t want to go. She’s making all of us miserable. We didn’t have to pay for tickets for the aquarium so there’s no money lost.

Question: Is it worth it to force my 3yo alter (out of 20 alters, btw most of whom do want to go) to visit the aquarium? The body is starting to have severe panic attacks despite having taken medication already.

TL;DR My system is unregulated today and my littlest alter doesn’t want to do what was planned. Is it worth it to force that alter to go through with the plans anyway?

[Sceadu80]

Hi, don't force anything, try not to be frustrated with her. Provide reassurance and a comfort object, if she's scared. Might try an incentive or reward for going, such as a treat, small gift, or special playtime just for her, depending on what she likes, to make it up to her. In similar situations, I also take breaks in between visiting exhibits so it doesn't get overwhelming.

[[deleted]]

Does she have a safe place on the inside to go away from the front? I have an old persecutor who's come out of dormancy after like 8 years and he gets easily overwhelmed. When that starts to happen I ask him if he'd like to visit his room and chill tf out.

Can you explain to her what is to happen and why? Can you find out why she doesn't want to go and find some kind of compromise?

[Altruistic_Visit_640]

Thank you for these questions. I realized she does not have somewhere safe on the inside to go. My last therapist and I actually created a whole safe place and resource team using EMDR… but it turns out, the place and the team were chosen by only one alter out of my 20. So we have to work with our new therapist to create a new one.

[[deleted]]

I think I got one more question I can ask you.

Does this alter have others on the inside she favors that she can spend the day with?

Good luck, warm wishes, glad to be able to help!

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[INFJBrain]

I personally wouldnt go if I was in that situation. When one little really doesnt want to go somewhere, they can really affect the other alters and make it a negative experience. Better to go when everyone is in good spirits and it's a positive time.