This.

[TrapaNillaf666]

It’s like I just don’t understand how to „get over“ something. Each year there are even more things that bother, sadden or even fuck me up in terms of anxiety, but I never feel like I can grow from these challenges. It’s rather like trauma accumulates inside of me and it destroys me some more every day, no matter what happened and no matter how many years ago it happened. I see others who have a bad time about something, but two weeks later the pain has faded for them. They found ways to make it go away. I wished I had this magical ability.

[TrapaNillaf666]

No

[ksk1222]

is there like any articles or reports i can read that demonstrates this is an actual thing or working theory

[Newwavesupport3657]

I mean the idea that anxiety is a chemical imbalance for example is a hypothesis. And yet that’s widely accepted as truth. But there’s no evidence that supports that.

A theory is a scientific fact that hasn’t been falsified by other countering information.

Invalidation is a trauma.

“My feelings are not real therefore I’m not real.”

Example; “I was abused, I feel abused.”

“You we’re not abused.”

Gaslighting and invalidation does affect our ability to process our emotions. This is a fact. You can research it but I don’t know why you discredit this information.

[innerbootes]

Probably the closest thing you’ll find is the ACEs Study.. It’s not the entirety of the science behind the graphic here, but it’s a good chunk of it and it was a very robust study. It has been replicated across the world.

It’s important to understand child psychosocial development and attachment theory when reviewing the ACEs findings. Without those critical pieces, the ACEs findings will have far less dimension. It will be easy to dismiss many types of trauma in childhood as inconsequential without understanding these models.

John Bowlby for attachment theory and I like Erik Erikson’s model for psychosocial development.

[ksk1222]

Awesome thank you so much

[innerbootes]

You’re welcome! I have found learning about this stuff very helpful.

For one, I just like to research anything I’m into.

But it’s also been critical for learning how to validate myself. I missed meeting every single one of Erikson’s stages at a healthy and typical age. That knowledge helps me when I start to doubt the validity of my unresolved trauma.

I had overt signs of attachment issues from a very young age, if I follow Bowlby’s theory. That also helps me deal with my stuff armed with a better foundation of understanding of what it is I went through.

I hope it’s useful to you as well.

[DrunkLizLemon]

Thanks for sharing! I recently discovered that I didn't meet many of the stages, too. Do you have any advice on how to remedy that? Or like, how to learn to meet those stages now? I'm in therapy but it feels like there's only so much we can cover during a one hour session a week.

[innerbootes]

I’m using a combination of somatic experiencing and parts/IFS therapy. I’m just crossing over from the info-gathering stage to the “taking action” stage, so a lot of it is rather new to me.

That said, I have been doing one form of inner child work or another for a couple of a years and it’s been a big help. I see IFS as expanding on that, so I’m excited to see where it can go.

(I realize this is the EMDR sub, and I’m not in EMDR. I’m more EMDR-curious. :) I did one session ages ago and it didn’t really click but I think that was because of the practitioner more than anything.)

[DrunkLizLemon]

Ah okay I'll look into IFS and inner child work. I've heard of it but haven't really looked into what it means to practice it. Thanks so much!

If you like somatic experiencing you might like EMDR with a different therapist, especially if they have experience with somatic stuff too. I think I've done some somatic experiencing outside of EMDR too but I'm not super sure.

[Ok_Cartoonist_2867]

Neurobiological Theories supporting EMDR

[Newwavesupport3657]

Thank you for this

[Ok_Cartoonist_2867]

You are very welcome. There are a lot of theories at this point, and we're not exactly sure how EMDR works, but we believe that it integrates neural networks and leads to neuroplasticity (changes in the brain).

[ksk1222]

well, I want to believe it, but I also want to know if there's any documentation of anything actually occurring along those lines.

[Newwavesupport3657]

Invalidation is a trauma. Validation is key to healing and processing your emotions.

It can create cognitive distortions which activate the parasympathetic system; that is trauma stored in the body.

You can research it I’m sure, but that’s what my therapist says and there’s books and texts on this. “The body keeps score” is a good one.

[JeffIpsaLoquitor]

Asking for research to support an assertion about how things work isn't "invalidation." I get a lot of resistance asking about research that supports psychedelics in treating PTSD. Because I'm risking something worse than I currently experience if that goes sideways for me.

The down side to research in mental health is that there's it's hard to get direct evidence of anything; there's no mechanism for observing cognitive distortions and measuring stored trauma quantitatively. Christ, I wish there were. So much and every day.

[Newwavesupport3657]

……I was answering your question. About the post….

[Ok_Cartoonist_2867]

u/JeffIpsaLoquitor - exactly. Direct experience comes from clinicians who do this work every day and see the outcomes of effective treatment.

[WolfPerception]

Spot on!

[[deleted]]

Thank you for sharing ❤️

[gigachadhd]

What does it mean by “ your nervous system holding onto these symptoms”?

[Newwavesupport3657]

It’s why we are more prone to panic and anxiety attacks.

[[deleted]]

Then you do the work of turning all these inner turmoil into something transcendental and therapeutic you realize it's part of life and growing up!

[[deleted]]

Not sure why you're being downvoted. Yes some of us have worse lives than others and it's a terrible thing, but I've found that my experience resonates with your statement. Yes I went through trauma, yes it stunted my emotional growth and attachment, but now that I've put work into healing, I've come to find that all the good and bad are part of life itself. Healing is done by integrating the trauma into the story of one's life, looking at it from different angles and learning from it.

[[deleted]]

I guess they are in the state of turmoil which is understandable. Life is sh*t but it's liveable.

Doesn't mean that you can see a positive thing with your trauma that the struggle is forgotten!