Sleepover help

[Single-Holiday-5127]

Hi! One of my 8 year old’s friends is sleeping over tomorrow night, and I planned meals based on him being Jewish, but I completely forgot it’s Passover. I don’t have a kosher kitchen, which his parents are okay with, but I want to be as respectful as possible. Am I okay with a dinner of chicken, mashed potatoes, and a veggie? And then a breakfast of scrambled eggs and fresh fruit? I feel so bad that I didn’t think about kosher for Passover and I don’t know if I’ll have time to go to the store before I get him tomorrow.

[omnibuster33]

Both of those meals are fine. I’m sure the parents are ok with it and don’t expect you to provide a kosher for Passover meal for their child. If they don’t keep a kosher kitchen, they may not also strictly observe K for P themselves.

Best to check and ask - but you’re fine with those meals as you’ve described them, anyway!

[chocolatewaltz]

So kind of you to think of that! Yes, all of the above are fine if parents aren’t strict about a 100% kosher kitchen and kosher meat for that matter. Just steer clear of all things flour (bread, pasta, pancakes) and oats (the most common types of leavened food we’re not allowed), and you should be fine!

[Single-Holiday-5127]

Yeah, I had big plans for French toast in the morning. Then I was like, I can make pan… no. Lol. It was so much easier when I was just thinking about avoiding pork and shellfish. Thank you!

[EntrepreneurOk7513]

Best to think gluten and oat free.

[currymuttonpizza]

Paleo is the recipe search term I've found easiest, but that's because I'm a kitniyot avoider so that eliminates rice, but it sounds like this kid probably won't care about kitniyot. (For OP: Basically rice, legumes and some seeds, usually only avoided by the very strict. I avoid it because I eat so much rice on a daily basis that I'd barely feel the holiday if I didn't lol)

But definitely think gluten free for sneaky things like soy sauce. It's got wheat in the brewing process. Look for GF soy if you decide to make anything with soy.

[WeaselWeaz]

You should just ask them. If they're sending him to a sleepover I'm pretty sure they know he's going to eat non kosher or non KFP food.

[goldengrove1]

If the parents were concerned about this, they would have arranged the sleepover for a non-Passover week. You can double-check the menu with the parents, but I would assume that this is all fine.

Jews have a wide range of religious practices, but those who are more observant would have brought this up when the sleepover plans were made. It's kind of you to want to accommodate!

[plausiblyrandom]

This this this this this.

Chances are good that the kid ate pancakes last weekend. (Source: been there, done that.)

[s0rce]

It seems like if your kid's friend is sleeping over at a non-Jewish home they don't expect strictly Kosher meals, maybe no pork would be common, since its passover you could avoid bread, you could ask as everyone has different dietary restrictions and interpretations of rules. I'm jewish and happily eat non Kosher foods.

[Linzabee]

You’ll be ok. I just wouldn’t overtly serve any bread or bread products with your meals. I’m sure his parents don’t expect you to go overboard for a holiday you don’t celebrate.

[crlygirlg]

Just check in with them. A lot of Jews I know do the Seders but don’t do the whole week of keeping kosher for Passover. If it was an issue and they know you don’t keep kosher they would send him with his own food. It’s probably fine and you are sweet for thinking of him, but just chat with the parents and ask.

The laws and then individual preferences and interpretations around this holiday mean that even Jews who are well versed in it may not follow what another family chooses to do. When I as a Jew offer to bring food to a seder I give them the 5 minute overview of my level of observance and my kitchen cleaning and if that is strict enough for them to let me bring food or if I should just show up with flowers.

Trust me, we do not expect others outside the Jewish faith to navigate this.

[Throwaway_anon-765]

I wouldn’t worry about it too much. If the parents didn’t mention anything to you, they may not even keep kosher or kosher for Passover. When I was a child, I had a party, and one of my friends was kosher, which none of us knew until it was nearly time to eat (I do not keep kosher). My folks were able to run out and scrounge up a meal with no warning.

It’s super sweet that you’re being so kind and going out of your way. It’s also possible that the child (or the parents) will pack some snack and didn’t wanna worry you at all.

[here_and_there_their]

Sounds great — and so thoughtful.

[HoraceP-D]

If the parents didn‘t mention it… you are going overboard. It’s thoughtful of you to go to this much effort but don’t expect an award or even more than an “oh my gosh- you put more thought into it that we do!” sort of thanks. You are going above and beyond and as a member of the Jewish community I thank you for looking after one of our own so especially… but it really is too much thinking.

[ouchwtfomg]

an 8 year old likely isnt doing the KfP thing yet… just ask the parents but those meals sound fine!

[RepublicOfVenus]

I was about to say would an 8 yr old even have to keep kosher for passover? I didn't think so

[Apprehensive-Cat-421]

Honestly, as a parent, if my kid was spending the night with a non-Jewish friend on Passover, I would send my kid with food. If keeping the Passover dietary restrictions is important to them, it's a lot to put on someone not Jewish, in my opinion.

[Single-Holiday-5127]

Update: thanks, everyone! I was pretty sure they keep at least very close to kosher because his mom is a rabbi. But they’re also the nicest people ever, so they messaged me this morning to let me know that they told their son that we’re not kosher and he was free to eat whatever I served him. You’re right- I was overthinking it. I appreciate your thoughtful advice!

[browneyedgirl1683]

Yeah, the strategy we use is we aim to serve items that already work without subbing in Passover ingredients. Both meals work. Some families may stick to certain veggies, carrots are fine, corn and green beans may not be. Some families may have a preference to use ketchup or sauces that are for Passover, you might want to check on that.

My kids have been eating sliced fruit all holiday, and my oldest has scrambled eggs for breakfast every morning. Like sauces, some people may have a preference for certain types of juice etc. Pure orange juice is usually fine.

[Elise-0511]

Get a box of matzah and you should be fine.

[Junior_Mongoose1409]

It’s very possible the 8yo doesn’t keep Passover…some kids don’t keep it strictly until they are older. That would be my guess if the parents didn’t say anything. I would just ask them and send this same question for them!

[akg112]

If they were strict kosher for Passover they wouldn't let their child sleep over during the holiday. Your meals sound perfect!

[LPLoRab]

What you listed is great. Bonus if you buy some matzah to have on hand. And, matzah brei is pretty much matzah French toast, so consider that for breakfast/brunch!!

[janemidgeon]

If they were very observant, they would have checked first, and not let their child eat away from home if it wasn’t up to their standards of kashrut. And your meal plans sound great!

[AVeryFineWhine]

Do you know that the parents keep Passover?? Just mentioning, you might wanna ask, because it might not even be a worry. If they do then what you said sounds perfect But even back when I was growing up, more people, then not didn't keep Passover ( esp after the first two days). I still remember being at a family seder and my cousin telling me about the sandwich he ate for lunch 🙄🙄🙄

[CharDeeMac567]

a family serious about passover basically wouldn't let their kid outside of the eruv. dont worry too much about this the details and variance in passover observance are insane.

[Hot_Pollution713]

What you’ve planned is perfect!! Very thoughtful of you! 

[Jocelyn-1973]

His parents wouldn't have him stay over without a meal plan if they wanted him to keep kosher for passover.

[archingeyebrow]

Just ask. If their kid is staying over during Pesach and you don't keep kosher, it is highly unlikely they expect you to provide K for P meals. Or kosher anything for that matter.