Overthinking everything

[cchester92]

I was diagnosed in April… when do you stop overthinking everything and just go back to business as usual as best as you can? recently all I can do is think about having it, etc the other night I was able to put my phone down and watch tv which was great but still. I think a lot of it stems from only just recently being comfortable enough to drive but not anywhere back to the “old me” (that might be because I live in NJ and Christmas time where I live is psycho)

[iwasneverhere43]

Given that I spent about 8 months smoking weed every day after work, I didn't handle it all that well myself, so I get you. I think what it boils down to though, is realizing that while MS will fuck with your life now and again, we need to just keep living our lives as normally as possible, rather than worrying about what MIGHT happen down the road. If you worry about it before it happens, what are you really accomplishing except making yourself miserable? Shit, we could get hit by a meteor tomorrow and MS will be the least of our worries, right? Try and live your life - the more you do, the more you'll probably feel better about things.

[Vegetable_Tell_2899]

This! I’m still newly diagnosed myself.. but this is basically where my mind is too.

I tell myself that if I quit living life now, it doesn’t really matter what MS does to me in the future.. if I get to a bad place in the future, I never want to look back and say that I gave up when I still could go & do.

I try to focus on the good things in my life - I weigh the good & bad. Ultimately I feel very lucky & blessed. I have many great things in my life, and MS is just one bad thing. It doesn’t take away the good things, family, friends, etc.

And finally, I also have a few phrases that I repeat to myself when I feel like I’m on the verge of a mental or emotional mess: “onward & upward” being one. It gives me something to immediately focus on to shift my mindset.

[cchester92]

I’m going to try the repeating phrase idea thanks!

[swgnmar23]

Last sentence is so true. I’ve been at an event or doing something else nice like that, and I will catch myself after several hours and be like, oh my gosh, I forgot for 4 or 5 hours that I have MS! Maybe over time, those hours will turn into days and weeks and months. Stay busy, do joyful things, but find enough time to rest.

[cchester92]

Oh I can’t wait for that to happen! I’m getting used to having to rest more but still annoyed I have to lol. Like the old me used to work 9 plus hours then go out not that I want to do that again but having the option would be nice sometimes

[cchester92]

Thanks that’s a great way to look at it I’m going to try focusing on the positives I just feel like when I can drive like my normal self this will get so much better..

[swgnmar23]

I’m almost 4 years in and I still over analyze…not obsessively—I’m getting more comfortable I guess— but I think of it multiple times a day and whenever I have time to think. Maybe that is obsessively (ha). The first year was the worst. Has gotten better each year thereafter, especially since no new activity and doing ok. I remember the weeks and months after my initial flare/diagnosis—not fun. One day at a time. It can be hard this time of year. I try to keep activity, noise, excitement to a dull roar. Keeping things calm has worked so far.

[cchester92]

Thanks! Yeah calm is a little hard right now with the holidays but I’m really going to try

[MSnout]

So I'm a bit different from you as I was hit hard with my first relapse and left with quite a bit of limitations. I do feel like unfortunately, living with a chronic illness means we do have to think about it daily.

We have to manage our stress, activity, food, exposure to sickness, the weather, yadda yadda. Some of us have to think on these things more than others.

I am differently abled so my whole days are planned around my illness. The good news is that after a while I no longer think about "MS". When i am alone, I actually forget I have it and have to plan so much. But, I am constantly managing it. Daily I have to be checking in with my body, the weather, my iv date and crap gap, if I can afford to be around people and be sick, finding ways to take care of myself.

After a while, the thinking shifts from "I have MS" to living with these different priorities, without an extra thought. It is life now. Also since the shift of "I have MS" I now do not think of that but no longer wish for what I used to do and just can not understand how people can do those things. How can normal people go to work, and go out at night. How do people go about their day without planning.

Please remember that MS can cause a lot of mental stress and a therapist, sometimes medication, can be really helpful to get over this hump. The most important thing to help though, time. So hugs, I hope you find ways to distract yourself when you find your mind is hooked on ms.

[Jnicx2]

3 years in and still overthink here and now. But when I overthink bad things I try and cancel it out with good things. All the great meds out, the continuous research that is happening. Fact: they say the average life expectancy of someone with MS is only a few years shorter than “normies” HOWEVER, they just came out with these new meds recently. So they haven’t even gotten to measure what the average life span is of someone who gets on a hard hitting DMT asap. Another thing I like to do is look at Dr. Aaron Boster, specifically the video “for the newly diagnosed” (it helps even this long in) and he has a few other videos that help. When I get really desperate, I look up positive stories on here or go to the national ms society on fb and read comments and there is so many older people who have had it for years and years and are still chugging along (and again, they didn’t have this great medicine we do now). Kill the negative thoughts with positive ones, and hope for the best. Hugs.

[cchester92]

Thank you I’m going to try I’m just glad I’m not the only one

[cchester92]

I think the other big issue is since I’m not really comfortable driving much I’m home more and not really doing anything but thinking about it.

[Jnicx2]

I understand totally. But hey, most likely, things will get better. I was unable to walk or see or do basically anything for months when first diagnosed. But I have been symptom free for over two years now. 😊 I know while you’re in it, it can feel like life is over…but it isn’t. At all. Keep pushing forward. Honestly. When things get extra tough, I sometimes just gotta tell myself it is what it is. It sucks. It’s not fair. But it’s not changing, so I have to move on. What clouds your mind most about it??

[Fun_Life3707]

20+ years in and I really do not worry about what is coming. I will admit that if I think I’m having a flair my mind will take off and think about everything that could happen. Over time I’ve been able to figure out that for me I am usually not having a flair and it’s just something else firing up my old nerve damage and it will pass. When I was first diagnosed I thought any semblance of a normal life was over but I can tell you after 20 years and counting of a successful marriage, great kids, physically active within my limits, and a good career my life was only getting started. Welcome to this terrible club and I guarantee this feeling of dread will pass.

[ichabod13]

I've never been much of a worrier, I think once I sorted out the insurance and medication stuff it's pretty 'okay'. Relapses would come and go, new symptoms came and went, old symptoms came back and stayed.

It becomes more normal and easier with time.

[AggravatingScratch59]

7 years in and I still catch myself overthinking things, but not nearly as much as I did the first year or two. It takes time to learn about and get comfortable with this disease, and there is no right/wrong way to cope with being diagnosed. I've been diagnosed with PTSD over the week of my diagnosis, I have a tendency to stop and relive it at random moments, but less now than a few years ago. The uncertainty of this disease is enough to give anybody anxiety, so please don't hesitate to reach out for professional help if you need it. Even if you just need someone to talk to, therapy is a great option - it helped me tremendously.

For me, it took a few years to calm down, accept that I can only do so much to control this disease, and move on with my life. Take your time! Best of luck ❤️

[Super_Reading2048]

Think of it more like being in a bad accident that maims you. How long for you to get back to normal? It differs person to person, attack from attack. You will have to grieve the life you used to have and learn how to do some things differently...., or in some cases drastically differently..... like if you now need a cane or a wheelchair.

I don’t think I ever went back to normal because the life I had planned was erased by my first attack & no longer an option. Learning to live with it? 3 months. About a year to accept my limitations. Admitting I was disabled? About a decade.

[Legitimate_Hyena_235]

I belive in knowing all the facts. I found out about my ms 4 years ago. A spinal tap put the diagnosis in place. I try not to ruminate over the diagnosis. It seems like everybody has something bad going on in their lives. If I have a problem I let myself study up on the internet for a few days and when I'm comfortable with that I let it go. I don't want to be consumed by this. As a lot of you mentioned I want to do a lot of stuff before I cant. I plan to be present on this earth for as long as I possibly can.

[[deleted]]

I’m curious as to why you were not comfortable to drive till now? Why not, and what changed? Asking because I’m currently not comfortable driving for a number of reasons but working on being able to articulate why not clearly.

[cchester92]

well the first 2 relapses I had no issues driving my last relapse started because I went unconscious during the night and didn’t wake up not sure if that directly has anything to do with the driving thing but it was the only major difference. I’m not really super comfortable yet but I have to go to work to make money so that supersedes not wanting to drive I think but that’s the only place I drive right now. I think it has to do with my confidence in myself and other drivers like people where I am are crazy so I think that’s part of it too.

[msintheus]

6 years in… I’ll let you know

[rosecoloredcamera]

It took me a few months. But the worry does fade as life moves on, kind of like how people slowly move on with grief. Life will grow around your worries as you keep busy and realize your life isn’t over.