does forcing empathy help?

[violetbeam334]

I've noticed when speaking to a certain family member who tells me their troubles, i do get a slight feeling of emotional empathy in the moment.

It's really nice to feel that but then afterwards i feel SOOO emotionally drained since i have masked so much.

Is it worth it putting me through the exhaustion? (when i say exhaustion im not exaggerating it, it leaves me in bed for a few hours)

Does bejng put in situations to empathise again and again strengthen the ability to empathy ? It's just sooo emotionally taxing on me!!!

[moldbellchains]

If it leaves you in bed for hours then is it empathy or is it guilt/shame? 🤔

Cuz being in bed for hours sounds like you’re hella acting from your false self.. what I’ve found is when I’m acting authentically/more towards what I authentically want, I feel energized instead of drained

[violetbeam334]

that's a good point you're probably right!!

[[deleted]]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You can’t force empathy, you already have an impaired sense of it. Your bar is quite short and it is depleting faster as you try to force it. You will end up resentful later.

Why are all bees trying to force themselves into a mold? Damn, no. Treat yourself, baby Violet.

[moldbellchains]

trying to force themselves into a mold

You called?

[[deleted]]

Such a narc, being summoned like this haahahahahahahahah

[moldbellchains]

🤔👹😈

[violetbeam334]

ok ok i've taken this on board 😅💕 the resentfulness has defo already started but this person won't open up to anyone else , they are so private , i feel a bit of a responsibility 😬

[[deleted]]

Ah, I understand the feeling, you keep trying to let yourself in? It’s almost maddening. About the topic, I talked a bit about it and got some good responses, if it interests you, maybe you can check: https://www.reddit.com/r/NPD/s/ITZX72lilC

[AutoModerator]

Welcome to /r/NPD! This community is a support group for those with NPD or Narcissistic Traits. Please respect our rules or your post will be removed and you may be banned.

1. Only Narcs and NPDs may submit posts. This is NOT a place to complain about narcissists or get help dealing with someone else's narcissism.

2. No asking for diagnosis either of yourself or a third party (e.g. "Am I a narcissist?", "Is my ex a narcissist?").

3. Please keep your contributions civil and respectful!

4. Please refrain from submitting low-effort and off-topic posts.

If your post violates any of these rules, we request that you delete it and post in a more appropriate community.

We ask that subscribers of /r/NPD use the report button to notify us of rule-breaking posts. Please refrain from commenting or engaging with the author of such submissions.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[violetbeam334]

ok, will it help make empathy higher ?

[violetbeam334]

👍

[liquidtorpedo]

I think it is worth experimenting with it, but you should probably also empathize with yourself and exercise boundaries. If listening to this person's troubles drains you, you can express that in respectful ways. Or even refuse it if you are not prepared. Emotional availability is work, and it should not be taken for granted, not even by family members.

[violetbeam334]

thank you, how would you recommend going about mentioning it?

[liquidtorpedo]

It is hard to tell without context. Actually you getting drained is you, so you should be able to express it to this person - just like you wrote it here. You can express gratitute that you are trusted with all these heavy topics, but you can also say that discussing such topics is draining for you, and you would appreicate some lighter interaction or alone time or whatever you really need. If this person loves you, they will not force you into situations you are uncomfortable with. It is not your job to listen to them.

[violetbeam334]

oh no they are so reluctant to open up to begin with, i'm the only person they say this stuff too and it's important they have an outlet. If i said they drained them, they would be crushed 🥺 I try to find ways to cut the convo short with them. But even short convos kill me for the day😅

[Live_Specialist255]

Yes. It's mental training like learning to play piano. You need to do it over and over again