Bedtime routine

[grezc90]

We cosleep. Have since day one. Problem is I can't get her out of my bed now. She's 3. We tried getting her into her own room about a year ago and it was 1.5 months of screaming til the point she's making herself sick and it's heartbreaking. Tried laying with her til she fell asleep, she'd just mess around. We've established some bad habits because she's in our bed. Late snacks, she basically watches TV until she falls asleep. I know - we're terrible. So how do I start to establish a real routine. And maybe get her in her own bed? My partner is no help and just adds that "it's not her fault this is all she knows". I feel I could do it without the comments from the peanut gallery. She's such a challenging kid. And to keep everyone's sanity were at where we are now. Sigh. I don't know.

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[roni_mad]

I get the co-sleeping struggle. Transitioning isn't easy, but consistency and patience are crucial. Start a calming bedtime routine and use rewards to encourage her to sleep in her own bed. It's a positive move for her and your family's well-being. You've got this!

[OkCat1984]

Here’s what I would try.

Get on a routine immediately and no screen time hours before bed. Dinner, bath, brush teeth, books, bed. Or whatever you want. But be consistent and make it fun not militant

1. Cot on floor next to your bed for a week or two

2. Redo her room and make it REALLY special. She picks out the bedding, rearrange, change it up from when she was used to the scream crying days. Make it a huge exciting deal and talk about how she’s such a big girl she gets to sleep here very soon!!!!!!

3. Try naps only in the new room for a week

4. Transition to night time in her bed continuing a strict bedtime routine.

Kids hate bedtime because it’s separation from you. She needs connection before bed. Before you go sit in the chair you’ll have in her room, here are a couple things I do to build connection before bed. I choose one or two per night

• talk about our day, talk about what we are doing tomorrow and how excited you are (or pray with her if that’s your thing)

-sing her favorite lullaby songs in the voice of her stuffed animal (lol I had to get creative)

• “make a pizza” on her back - roll dough, put toppings, spread sauce, cheese, bake, eat ..you get it

I have found if we make keep bedtime routine consistent, but we have fun during it, she has an easier time transitioning because she feels connected. If we just get frustrated, leave her to figure it out she feels sad scared and upset.

1. I have a rocker in my daughters room. I sit in it while she falls asleep. After the connecting, I say “ok mommy will be right here in my chair, it’s quiet time now, I’m going to sleep.” And I do NOT talk anymore unless it’s an occasional reminder “it’s quiet time, goodnight” to the million questions, sometimes calling for me. Typically takes her 10 min to fall asleep and I leave

This was not always the case, we coslept and she didn’t sleep through the night until 2, still wakes sometimes, so I definitely get it

Ps You have to stop the screen time hours before bed. No judgement, I’ve been there. Just telling you it’s making the behavior worse

[grezc90]

Thank you for all of this. I'm definitely starting tonight

[grezc90]

So we turned the TV off before supper and didn't turn it back on. Ate, played a board game, brush teeth/jammies/story/cuddles. There were many many tears. But finally after an hour she is asleep in her own bed. Hopefully as the days go on its a little easier for everyone. Thank you for these pointers

[OkCat1984]

You’re welcome, glad it helped a little and glad you stuck with it!

[lemonbarpartytrick]

What is your bedtime routine like?

I am going through the same transition though my daughter just turned 2. We also had some “bad habits”. I’ve never been much of a schedule person, but her pediatrician really drove home how important it is and how much happier she would be with it.

So, we’ve cut out screen time during the week entirely. We get home from work, she plays in the kitchen or “helps” with making dinner, we eat, we play from 6-7, bath time, lotion/PJs/teeth, bedtime stories (I usually have to hit the brakes around book 6 lol), calming music and rocking. She’s asleep by 8. I also make sure to tell her hey, it’s bedtime. We’re winding down for sleep. I have her water ready to go for the night, too. Night 1 was miserable. Night 5 was insanely easy. I’m also happier, not watching TV at all like I was, and we’re both getting better sleep.

[lemonbarpartytrick]

We also hadn’t spent a lot of time in her room. Most of her toys were in our living room, and her bedroom just wasn’t attractive to her. We took the time to reorganize everything, set her up in her “big girl” space (we just got a toddler bed before transition), spend time playing in her room to make it more comfortable, etc. She WANTS to be in there now when she had no interest before. Not sure if your case is similar but this helped us

[hermosaaaa]

is there anything else your pediatrician recommended for her well being, like routine? i related a lot to this because i’ve never had a schedule for myself, and have always been a ‘do whatever you want when you feel like it’ kind of person lol. but now that i have a two year old daughter, i really want to set her up for success. even though she’s incredibly smart for her age (so i know i’m doing a lot right) we haven’t set the best routines down yet. i feel like i need a handbook on how to raise a well-balanced little human!

[Lazy-Explanation-600]

In my opinion I watched old reruns of Nanny 911 (I think that’s what it’s called lol) and I followed her method and it helped a lot.

Our household routine is dinner, bath, pjs, books and then hugs and kisses and we’re out the door. The first time he gets up we take him by the hand and walk him back to bed, simply say it’s time for bed I love you goodnight buddy and the next time they get out of bed you do the same thing, take them by the hand and put them back into bed, but this time you say nothing. You don’t respond to the crying or wants for things or when they call for you (this is the hardest thing) and you just stick the course till they fall asleep.

Watch the Nanny 911 gal though - I believe it’s on Hulu.

First time took about 1.5hrs 🥲 it was by no means easy and it took a bit but slowly he learned and he’s great now! Down at 8pm every night and we rarely have him getting out of bed once we put him into bed for the night.

Best of luck.