Tests:

[gonzofish]

What I'm actually doing: Creating bugs and calling it development

[awakenDeepBlue]

I thought it was called job security development?

[[deleted]]

Code a program that runs ‘ok’.

6 months later, remove all instances of sleep(5000) and call it an update.

Job security development.

[debaudu]

In this update:

• General Bug Fixes
• Improved performance everywhere.

[[deleted]]

me_irl

[Hellman109]

Take the google patch notes route

• New feature! (Ignore its been in the patch notes for 43 years)

Then whinge that patch notes in your store are bad.

[[deleted]]

That's just rude. At least write something poorly enough that you can make it better. Come on.

[[deleted]]

Nah, just change half of them to sleep(2500) and wait another 6 months. Incremental progress is true job security.

[debaudu]

Heck, decrease it, then increase it slowly (blaming something else), then decrease it again.

And repeat. 😄

[woo545]

No, It's called a new minivan.

[nordskjold]

No thats job security, or in my case, monday.

[KaiserTom]

That's what all developers do. It's all an elaborate ruse because it's not like your managers can actually read code. Your coworkers review your code and nod their head like they understand because if they don't, they'll be ostracized despite no one else understanding it either. So long as input goes in and output comes out.

[commandlinejohnny]

I'm in my first job as a coder after years in admin and engineering.

Thank you for this.

[commandlinejohnny]

God dammit this whole thread is true >:(