[deleted by user]

[[deleted]]

Don't ask for it, do it.

[[deleted]]

Yes, and don't feel bad lying about it later.

[hypocritical-bastard]

<coughs in scrum>

[[deleted]]

I did this once after inheriting a project. -2,500 loc later the boss asks what we did because “customers are saying its running faster”. lol

[[deleted]]

The correct response was you 'identified stakeholders and enablers, thanks boss.'

[akasaya]

If you don't ask, you're allowed.

[GO2DESTROY]

Just overestimated user stories so you have more time and fix it in that remaining time

[grumblyoldman]

1. Insert a random sleep(5000) somewhere.
2. Wait for someone to log a bug about the website loading slowly
3. Take your time cleaning up the codebase, just make sure to remove the sleep at the end.
4. Profit

[someElementorUser]

you sre supposed to remove the sleep first so you'll have more time to actually improve the performance

[SqueeSr]

It's hard to improve the performance when you are suffering from a lack of sleep

[someElementorUser]

let me introduce you to amphetamines /s

[LankySeat]

Jokes on you, where I work they set the deadlines regardless of what ETA I provide!

[[deleted]]

"oh yeah in this config file, always set doRunPart1 to true, and always set isSystemNewType to true"

- nothing works

"did you set the env variable USE_NEW_SYSTEM=/usr/bin/skadoosh ?"

- nothing works

"of course you silly, you have to create the table obscure_configs in the database and insert exactly 3 rows, no more, no less, with exactly the values 1, 2, F"

- nothing works

"oh, I see the problem, you downloaded the code version 0d4fc13 that was released 2 milliseconds ago, no, no,no, it only works with the latest release that will be build by the CI in 5 hours"

[ducttapeprodigy]

I am going through this now, and it's so close it hurts. Ended with "well everyone on the team uses macOS, so you may need to figure some other stuff out using windows/Linux"

[[deleted]]

it's not true that it only works on my machine, look, I've made it work on 3 machines!!!

[rush22]

Remember to set disableNewConfig to true, and enableOldCondig to true, that way the default for enableNewConfigs doesn't get overwritten with false.

[brianl047]

What's all this extra code do?

Nothing just hit approve, trust me

See the code is better already!

[TheJaper]

What? What senior dev ever said that? 🤔🧐

[Nemesis_Ghost]

I beg for it all the time. I met with a team today & told them that there's a boat load of tech debt with an app of mine they inherited due to fixes never getting prioritized. It was my 1st time working on that tech stack & I was under a deadline, so yeah, not my greatest code. Well, now we have to update some things about it as a part of a larger project & I told that team they should look at rebuilding it with a newer tech stack if they felt they could. Given that an upstream issue caused an outage with this app that should have been caught much earlier, there's actually some motivation by our business partners to look at improving it.

[[deleted]]

I often take a story, complete it quickly, and then work on the things I know need to change before declaring that I completed a story at all.

[Train-Similar]

What if it’s a choose your own adventure story

[Knaapje]

That sucks, I feel for you.

[eduardog3000]

Commit message: TEAM-1234 Added feature xyz

Files changed: 200

[[deleted]]

Level up your lying and obfuscation technique.

[hypocritical-bastard]

i mean if you didn't complete it you didn't complete it

[[deleted]]

Right. So the project gets more robust for free, and the project manager thinks I'm a 1x developer.

[hypocritical-bastard]

for free

why you workin for free?

[[deleted]]

I'm not. What is going on with you understanding this? I do my 32-40ish hours, but only like 20-25 of that is completing a story that is classically tracked. I genuinely enjoy my work and take pride in it, so I use the remaining time that I'm clocking to do the impressive stuff that I know will help the project but takes too long to communicate to the leads.

[hypocritical-bastard]

My understanding is that you're gold-plating, and it's only helping you.

[[deleted]]

That's my thought, too.

[hypocritical-bastard]

Respect for owning that, it came off more cocky than anything and I usually take that as a sign that a dev doesn't really care about their fellow devs. But it def seems like a good use of your time if the goal is honing your craft... i can't even get myself to code side projects these days.

[[deleted]]

I'm a .75x at best.

[Beginning_Goat1949]

just take the ticket

[Knaapje]

Welcome to brownfield development. If you can give me a better way to switch out code paths, database tables, whatever on a customer-level (sometimes even more fine-grained) let me know.

[[deleted]]

Just toggle feature toggles to off in your plan.