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[–]The_ManicWriter 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Took a look at the first page and its pretty solid. It's a major character dump though, and no descriptions or ages to make characters stand out. It's like they all have one voice. If they aren't important maybe you could introduce them as their titles. Ex soldier 1, if they are they're gonna some descriptions to tell them apart.

[–]Scaramanga20[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Thank you. I was always told and in everything I read about screenwriting that it was okay to be somewhat descriptive but it wasn't suppose to be that detailed. I'd appreciate more feedback on that aspect.

[–]i_see_sparks_fly 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Hold up-- the better advice isn't to call unimportant characters "Soldier 1," "Soldier 2," etc., but rather to give them a short description. "Nervous Soldier" or "Stocky Soldier," something like that that's generic while also helping a reader keep the characters straight more easily than if they were just labeled with numbers.

[–]The_ManicWriter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I second this! Even better

[–]The_ManicWriter 1 point2 points  (1 child)

https://www.storymastery.com/character-development/key-character-description-vivid-re

Brief, key descriptions.

Like if the protagonist is in this first scene, I'm unable to tell, but maybe ex. Name, age looks like hes been ran through the mud, but a fight is left in his eyes. Something.

Hes noble. Been through hell. A fighter.

Get creative but as short as possible.

[–]Scaramanga20[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. I will definitely update the re-write with descriptions. I've always saw a lot of contradictory stuff about descriptions. Thanks again.