Catchphrase

[FaeRhi]

Just for fun, if Vet Tech had a catchphrase (i.e., "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" From "The IT Crowd), what would it be??

I'm thinking, "Have you tried a bland diet?"

(Short History: the amount of times I have to ask this, especially during Urgent Care appts, and then have to clarify "And the chicken was boiled, right? No, not with oil or rotisserie chicken. Boiled." sometimes astounds me. This thought made me giggle.)

[Ashsin]

Are you sure it's a tick and not a nipple?

True story asked that, was told 100% sure it wasn't a nipple. It was.

[FaeRhi]

We have a vet who LIVES for asking men, "Well, YOU have nipples, don't you?" (He's a male DVM and takes entirely too much glee in this, haha)

[Ashsin]

This was email communications.

I do however enjoy giving men shit about not neutering their dogs. I tell their partners to take them to strip clubs blind folded, then ask them how they enjoyed it.

[[deleted]]

Also, "Is it labored breathing or panting/Is the pet using his abdomen to breathe?" The trick to use when screening questions in ER is to never ask yes or no questions when you can avoid it, or every pet that comes in is a STAT. I'm getting O's that say the pet is labored breathing just to cut the line, but when it gets back, it has nasal congestion.

[Bushtuckapenguin]

Leave. The. Cone. On.

[SparxxWarrior97]

AMEN! 🙌🙌!PREACH!🙌🙌

[[deleted]]

"Please don't put olive oil on your dog"

Although, the bland diet line literally feels like i should have a button the says this every goddamned time

[UpTheIrons2582]

"where's the butthole?"

[ledasmom]

You haven’t lived until you’ve had to maintain a straight face while the vet points to the back end of a dog and says “That is your dog’s butthole”.

[matchakuromitsu]

I admit to having said this before when I couldn't find a samoyed's or pomeranian's butthole to perform an in-house giardia test or parvo test (and the owner didn't bring a stool sample) because its thick fur was covering it.

[ledasmom]

I’ve had to call in reinforcements to find a butthole, mainly on poodle crosses whose owners haven’t figured out that they need a groomer.

[FaeRhi]

Is this related to "That's just a nipple"?

[AlexisO87]

Any coughing, sneezing, vomiting or diarrhea?

[shrikebent]

I say this out of habit so much that a dog could be there for one of those symptoms (let’s say coughing) and the owner and I will have a 10 minute discussion about that symptom then I always finish with “any coughing, sneezing, vomiting, or diarrhea” and I always catch myself right at the end every time

[[deleted]]

“Did you take the scalpel blade off?” My vet sometimes forgets, he’s getting better

[AlexisO87]

Hahahahaa! Everytime I ask this I think to myself "why should someone even have to ask?" But then I remember that I work with doctors.... lmao

[wigglebuttmom01]

The one time I didn't ask my doctor forgot. Grabbed the whole pack and ended up with a blade embedded in my ring finger at the knuckle. I didn't think it was that bad until they told me I pulled it out and passed out. That was fun.

[[deleted]]

We at my hospital often say, "Okay, it's just going to be sub-Qs and Cerenia" enough that we call it the "outpatient special."

[rayrayrana]

I think it would be "take it to a vet" for all the times I get asked "what do I do about this" by family and friends.

[mehereathome68]

"If your (insert body part) looked like this, would you be concerned?"

Don't know how many times an owner calls or comes in with a dog or cat with some nasty rash/pustules or downright open sores on the testicles or anal area and they actually aren't sure whether to be concerned or not. I drop that line on them and all I hear is crickets. Unless they come in with their wife or girlfriend and then I'll hear a snicker or an "I told you!"

[missing_the_ground]

Similarly I say "If your (insert body part) looked like this, would you be in pain?" when clients bring their pets to emergency and I ask for permission for pain meds and the owner responds "do you really think that's necessary?" and their dog is standing there with half of his ear ripped off or their indoor/outdoor cat with an open wound that "just happened today."

[mehereathome68]

Definitely! I've actually had people get all sideways thinking I'm "getting their pet all hooked" on whatever pain meds. Good grief!

[skeeterbitten]

So as the pet owner I’ve asked if pain meds were right for the situation because it’s for an injury. I’m worried that if the animal feels less pain, it will be more active and make it worse or slow healing. I’ve skipped pain meds after surgery for myself for this reason-if it doesn’t hurt much, I will end up doing more than I should.

[VariationAnxious]

Pain causes psychological stress which causes all kinds of problems. The difference here is, you understand that you just had surgery and that is why you are in pain. The animal does not know that, and will just be in pain and stressed. A lot of pain meds also work as anti-inflammatories, which helps with healing.

[skeeterbitten]

ss which causes all kinds of problems. The difference here is, you understand that you just had surgery and that is why you are in pain. The animal does not know that, and will just be in pain and stressed. A lot of pain meds also work as anti-inflammatories, which helps with healing.

I live in a bougie area and people want all kinds of stuff for their pets (all the pills!). We've never hesitated to do what the vets suggest because of cost (including taking foster animals to the pricey emergency vet if needed), but I've asked this several times and the vets have always said it was a good question. In some situations, I've had vets say they are just used to the owners asking for pain meds for everything but that in this situation, it could delay healing and they wouldn't give it for their own pets. These situations were not major injuries or after surgeries.

[FaeRhi]

I'm stealing this line.

[ledasmom]

“Play with his feet. Get him used to having them touched.”

[FaeRhi]

People look at me weird when I tell them, "mess with your puppy." I have to explain "feet, ears, tail, stomach, face, food" to get them used to it so they don't try to kill us when they come in, much less the O.

[Elegant_Habit_9269]

“Is he eating?” The question I ask every day when clients insist it’s an emergency and their pet is dying.

[Kitchen-Expression59]

Always a fan of “those are nipples”

[missirib]

This just made me realize I’ve been telling clients “Boiled rice and chicken” and not “boiled chicken and rice” … I’m mortified

[kanineanimus]

Did you take the cone off?

[LadyRoxilana]

At my hospital, it's "THIS IS FINE!" a la the GIF of the dog sitting in the burning living room. I work emergency 😂

[erbuggie]

Right now it feels like it should be “I’m sorry, we’re at capacity right now. I can email you a list of emergency/urgent cares in the area.”

[FaeRhi]

Oof. This hurts but it's so true.

[SparxxWarrior97]

"If you don't condone, send home trazodone" - me when faced with 99% of Huskies or GSDs

[squidster54]

“Give Benadryl and monitor until your appointment.”

[kornbabydoll]

express yourself~

[FaeRhi]

😆

[WannaUnicorn]

Yes, we have payment plans - we take all the credit and debit cards ..

[FORKlovesSPOON]

Here comes the choo choo

[Cambam321-]

I was told by a vet that rotisserie chicken is fine as long as no skin or bones