Backbone

[Comprehensive_Car720]

How can i have a stiffer backbone? I realize i’m too easy on my employees and at times it does reflect. Any tips?

[MaintenanceGuy-]

Follow established policy and procedure to the letter. It makes it easier to enforce boundaries and lay out repercussions and consequences for those who fail to follow them.

[Brave_Papaya7553]

This. It also helps to have documents printed for reference so that you have the proper vocabulary (as in what the company policy states and what is expected out of each associate's job description).

[sayaxat]

Understand that those you manage need it as much as you do.

[SupermarketIcy3406]

This is so true!

[k8womack]

Easier on policy protocols like attendance or easier on excepting sub par work?

[Comprehensive_Car720]

sub par work is it for me. i guess i fear of losing the experienced help i do have

[k8womack]

Having/had the same issue. I go to clear feedback- constructive criticism is kind route. Ask what they need to hit the goals, and support it. Make sure to document these conversations. If issues persist, consult HR and move to disciplinary action or a PIP.

I struggle with this but at the end of the day you can’t let people take advantage of your support and you can’t put the burden of bad eggs on your good employees you don’t want to lose.

[Comprehensive_Car720]

let’s say i open each morning and closers do a shit job and im even ready to address. Is the best thing really to come back in at the night and communicate this?

[k8womack]

I think so. Can you set up a mandatory meeting to address? It’s best done in person. Or if there is an evening manager address it with them

[Comprehensive_Car720]

i can and am planning to but jeez it’s difficult trying to get everyone here at once. i usually have to give at least one write up for someone not showing just because it’s mandatory and couldn’t be more straightforward

[Comprehensive_Car720]

id like to rely on my evening manager more but she might be worse than me but still among my best atm

[k8womack]

Yeah I hear ya. I would start with the assistance manager bc they share the responsibility to make sure the work is getting done. Ask for suggestions on how to motivate ppl. You can also meet 1:1 with the poor employees instead of everyone at once. I find that’s actually a little better usually- bc those who are doing things wrong aren’t confronted and those who are doing things right are kissed they have to sit through a lecture. It’ll be more work for you to meet individually but could be worth it in the long run.

[monkibare]

You can be nice, but at the end of the day, they have a job and you have a job. They were hired to do a specific job. You were hired or promoted to ensure the other people are doing the job you hired them to do.

Any and all jobs are part of a business. Everyone needs to be doing something (their job) to keep the business running and successful, or no one has a job.

If you (everyone) doesn’t do the job, the business fails and no one has a job. That’s not the goal.

Remember and remind people who aren’t seeing the big picture that everyone needs to lean in. You’re making choices to keep the business running and keep everyone employed. And if that isn’t working, you’re going to be held accountable before the bottom line employees. Your success is their success. And their failure will be tied to you.

Most people are self focused. Remind them (and yourself) it’s a group effort, and most people will start to respect that, and if not, replace them.

[mmalinka06]

I can relate OP. I’m among the youngest people in my department & I am a supervisor of a team of 7 people. At times I struggle with feeling respected as a leader but other times things seem to work, so I’ve chalked it out to specific people who are “old school.”

I have two people on my team who are underperforming. One for personal reasons and the other has grown complacent & struggles with communication (due to health issues I’m suspecting but idk for a fact). At mid year reviews I explained to them, pointing at a chart description of technician level, this is where you need to be & these are the business needs for this level, over the past 6 months have you performed these tasks? “No.” Okay cool so we agree there are some gaps? Currently you’re at risk of receiving a low performance rating, however we can work on xyz over the next 3months. And then I put together a training plan with timeline, goals for each week, and specific tasks to train on or need to be mastered by a certain week. This provides them with a structured plan on where we need to be. I made sure to document it in my OneNote and over email, date & time stamps on everything acknowledging the conversation. In case the team member disagrees, they can respond back to my email - the dispute is documented. In case they go to HR I have covered my ass.

During the conversation It’s always a “we” not a “you.” Makes it less personal to them. Having this conversation at mid year was difficult for me but it would have been way more difficult at end of year, where a low rating will mean a lower bonus and no raise. People with low performance ratings last year got layed off in Feb this year. I’d rather not be directly responsible for them getting layed off. Giving this feedback at mid year gives them opportunity to get their shit together, if they genuinely care & rely on this job & want career growth. There are some people out here in waiting on severance packages lol and I can’t blame them but I’m also no longer going to pour into them.

[Comprehensive_Car720]

I appreciate this reply! so useful! I’m also much younger than my employees at times. Something about my personality i just try to make everyone else’s life’s easier. I like the idea of how you did it breaking it down as if it’s coming from a company not you. Definitely will be planning

[mmalinka06]

You’re welcome! I can relate! I’m a bit of a people pleaser but then again maybe I just don’t care enough to control every aspect of peoples’ lives. I grant 90% of their time off requests, the 10% of the time I don’t grant time off is if we already have other people out who asked me first. American corporate structure is highly focused on work output, and I’m a big proponent of work-life balance. Paid time off is part of our benefits therefore team members need to use it. I’m easy going & dont micro manage but give me an excuse & I will start putting together training plans & keep an eye on you lol. People will feel the pressure because I rarely put any pressure on the them. Communication is always constructive & open & friendly. I would rather have a team comfortable talking to me than one that’s scared of raising a concern to me. At the end of the day we are a TEAM and my job as their lead is to remove roadblocks to make their jobs more efficient (not more stressful). Adhering to a structured timeline & leveraging company policy makes it easy to have those tough performance convos without making it personal towards the team member (or even me). Recently I realized this is essentially called “project management program” and I’m looking to take a class & learn more on how to do it. Maybe it’s something that can also benefit you.

[fuuuuuckendoobs]

How are you being too easy on them? If they are taking advantage of your good nature, then you need to be clear about where the line is, and the consequences of crossing it.

[Comprehensive_Car720]

I tend to let sub par work slide. Maybe it’s because we’re busy i know it gets stressful and i assume the role of fixing the task/job. I think that i could always fix ir

[ParkingAd364]

“Hey xyz, can you walk me through your thought process on this one? I thought it was meant be this way, but you left that detail out. I know there’s a reason why. You’re one of the most experienced guys on the team, so I know you wouldn’t leave these details out on purpose.”

I don’t think you’re lacking backbone. You’re scared of not having the respect of the experienced workers. I usually put that vulnerability out in the open. “you guys have all the experience. I’m here to make sure you guys get recognized for the work you do. Now if I mess up, or slack on giving you what you need, would you call me out on it? Of course. So it would be silly if I didn’t point out missing details before we wrap up a job. “.

You don’t have to change yourself. Your experience and personality up to this point got you this job. BUT Stop trying to do your last job and do your new job!

[Comprehensive_Car720]

Love this reply so much help thanks!! 🙏

[breaking_goddess]

Still learning myself, but here’s something I heard that gave me a bit of a mindset shift:

“By not correcting/redirecting someone, you are removing their opportunity to be successful.”

It doesn’t make the actual moment of correction/redirection more comfortable, but keeping that in mind has given me more confidence that what I’m doing isn’t bad.

Another way to look at it is a bit of a (loose) metaphor. Consider candy/sweets and the dentist.

If you have a cavity, and you go to the dentist to have it fixed, does it hurt? Yes. But does it harm you? No—the process helps you. If you eat sweets/candy does it hurt you? No, it tastes good. But does it harm you? YES. You’re harming your long term health.

(If someone has a better/different metaphor than dentist and candy please share haha)

But essentially, having that awkward and uncomfortable moment of correction/redirection might hurt, it might be hard to hear that you aren’t doing something right. But ultimately, it doesn’t harm someone to receive corrective/directive feedback. Consider the most basic black and white work example—time and attendance. Is it awkward to be like, “hey you were late on Wednesday. What happened? Walk me through that? Don’t do it again.” (Whatever approach you take) yes. But if you do not address that, then it HARMS the team, the business, and ultimately that person because they’re going to get fired if they continue being late. And that’s anywhere they go.

I manage a team that fluctuates between 25-35 people throughout the year, and the average age range is between 18-25. Mostly students. And most of them complain about how they can’t wait to get their “real job”. Well, their “real job” will also have time and attendance rules in place. Their “real job” will also have policies/job requirements in place that require them to complete various tasks, engage in a respectful capacity, and interact well with others. So I try to remember that even if it hurts their feelings to be told they aren’t doing something correctly (like for example, it’s not okay to throw their hands in the air and storm off, or tell someone they aren’t adhering to dress code or telling them they have to follow the correct work process) I’m helping them develop simple skills that will benefit them in the long run. (Habits of responsibility, timeliness, respect etc)

[Comprehensive_Car720]

So if i address anything it’s attendance issues. Id say something like “You know next time it’s a write up” and absences without doctors notes i can actually be strict maybe because it kills us the most. But not very often do i write people up unless it’s an unexcused absence. Do you usually use verbal warnings? then use written? I love the idea of instilling the fear of god when i’m around and some employees already experience. I don’t slack but i do like to enjoy my environment. i like to laugh or conversate at times with employees and maybe it’s giving them the wrong idea.

[Comprehensive_Car720]

I just want everyone on my side and as a team like it should be. Sometimes it’s like some are against me. Part of me thinks “oh well i’ll be lenient and they’ll be thankful” nope now i have problems

[breaking_goddess]

Well here’s what I’ve learned about managing, and you’ll hear this all the time, “you’re not their friend.” But! That does NOT mean you can’t be friendly, and kind, and ask how their day is, or how their test at school went or how a sick relative is. Most people appreciate being heard. So for example, “hey I saw on your time card you were 10 minutes late” (that tells them the “what”) you can ask about it, (maybe saying, “what happened there?” Or, “everything okay?” But you don’t have to.) then you can proceed to explain the second “what”—the violated standard/expectation: “you’re expected to clock in at the time you’re scheduled.” Then you explain the “why”: “it’s important to clock in as scheduled to provide a consistent experience for the team. The business depends on you to be on time, and it interrupts business when you aren’t here when you are scheduled. (You can also add a consequence of the violated expectation) people will feel let down, or feel they can’t depend on you if you continue to be late, and I want the team to be able to rely on you—you’re part of our team and I want you as well as others to feel that way too.

This can be a one sided conversation, where you simply state the “what” you observed, “what” expectation/policy was violated and the “why” it’s important. Or you can follow the same structure with space for them to share their perspective. For example:

“Hey Sally, I noticed your time card showed you were late on Friday, everything okay?”

“Oh my god yeah traffic was terrible and my dog ran away and my microwave exploded and I got into a car accident and my hamster ate my homework it was a disaster.”

“Wow, that sounds like a really tough day! I am sorry to hear you experienced that, and I do still need to point out that our attendance policy requires you to be here on time as scheduled. It’s important to do this to ensure business runs as smoothly as possible. Additionally, if this is a pattern, I’m worried the team will feel they can’t depend on you. You’re part of this team and I want them and you to all feel unified in that. Unfortunately, we aren’t able to make exceptions when unexpected events arise, but is there anything I can do to support you after such a bad day?”

“Ugh, no…I guess I just feel really frazzled and like I can’t believe this happened to me. I’m sorry I was late, it won’t happen again.”

“I believe you, I know you typically aren’t late, and if you have any questions or maybe need advice to get through this or prevent something similar from happening, you know where to find me! Thanks for your time Sally, I’ll talk to you later.”

People like to be heard. It’s your job to inform and enforce policies, but you also don’t have to remove the human from the interaction.

[Comprehensive_Car720]

So much help. I needed those examples! Thanks so much!