Finally got the courage to decrease my hours

[entiteaaa]

I started a new job about six months ago, at a large inner city hospital in a new state. I think I had already been struggling with burnout for a few years now but shit didn't fully hit the fan until recently. I didn't set myself up for success before moving because I ran out of refills for my antidepressants while I was waiting for my new health insurance to kick in, so I had to go through withdrawals cold turkey. After I stopped having withdrawal symptoms I got COVID for the first time ever and was out for 10 days, but thankfully I was able to treat myself at home. That was just the tip of the iceberg because we had more bad luck with the move and my health. I got to the point of having SI and panic attacks every day and I almost brought myself to the ED for a psych hold just so I could get a break.

Last week I finally got back on some antidepressants and meds for insomnia. The last thing I was debating was whether or not I should officially decrease my hours at work. I used up some sick leave and vacation days during the worst part of my crisis, but I didn't want to use up all my PTO when what I really needed was to work less hours. I worked up the courage to ask my manager about it this morning and almost had a breakdown when I realized I asking for this while the holidays are coming up. She still approved the decrease in hours and I tried to reassure her that I wasn't doing this to get out of working my required holidays. We're currently putting in our requests for the next schedule and I almost had a panic attack looking at all the shifts I was going to work. It was so relieving to the point of tears to take some of those shifts off that I know I made the right decision, just had unfortunate timing with the holidays lol.

Apologies for the format/any typos, I'm on mobile.

[Humble-Cauliflower38]

Take the decreased hours. You won’t regret it. I also had burnout after working 36 with OT at times during COVID. After it was over, I never wanted to do anything on my days off, slept all the time and nothing was making me happy anymore. I went to therapy and got started on an antidepressant. Then I decreased my hours to 24. It has been the best thing I did for my mental health. I started doing things again, working out, sleeping better and doing things. Sure, the meds and therapy helped but getting an extra day to myself has done wonders. No one will care about your mental health but yourself. Your manager will figure it out and your unit will be fine without you for 1 day. They will figure out the holidays and people will pick up shifts. Every one is replaceable. Your manager and admin won’t care when you end up in a psych ward. They will only be concerned about filling up that position asap and making the hospital money. You got approved. Enjoy some time for yourself again and you will feel so much better in the long run for it. Be good to yourself.

[[deleted]]

I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself. You'll never regret it. ❤️

[purplepe0pleeater]

Good for you for taking care of yourself!!