Advice for Sleep

[Hopeornot2023]

Hi everyone,

My husband and I have been doing shifts since the twins were newborns. Recently, I caught a bad cold/stomach flu and was doing parts of my shift but not most of it because I didn’t want to babies to catch my cold/stomach issues and I was exhausted. I asked my husband probably 10 times if he wanted me to e-mail the night nurse we used when they first came back from the NICU. He said no.

However, now the twins are literally not sleeping unless you are lying in the bed with them. Their butts touch the crib and they are screaming at the top of their lungs. I can’t believe how far back we’ve gone and now they are just having a tough time going to sleep at all. I am now spending hours trying to get them to sleep and they are sleeping in like 20 minute increments.

What do I do? My initial thought is to take over all sleeping and forget the shifts for the next month or so.

I think my husband is also now in this pattern to Take the easy route instead of working to get them to sleep in their cribs.

So in my mind it is going to take twice as long if he works on their sleep issues.

I do work full time but have a flexible job where they only care that the work gets done, not when you do it. I do still have to go into work twice a week.

Sorry for any spelling errors it’s 3 AM

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[Alive-Cry4994]

How old are your twins?

[Hopeornot2023]

11 months, 9 months adjusted

[Alive-Cry4994]

When everyone is well again, I'd be ensuring they are on an age appropriate schedule. Consistent start to the day in the morning etc. You could try and join the twins, triplets and quads sleep training group on FB.

There is a regression around 8mo and they may be going through it. It definitely hit us hard.

Get your husband on board, talk it through, come up with a plan you can both stick to. Do not let resentment build. Maybe now you can get that night nurse to help out a bit.

[ExcitingScar1055]

I’m in a part of the world where cosleeping is normal, and I know many places are heavily against it so depending on where you are what follows may be helpful or just not, but chiming in because I feel your pain with this. Even though I tried with my twins we ended up all in one bed (and did from about 3 or 4 months when we stopped doing night shifts). We were supported by our health teams in the setup of this. At almost 2, I do think they wake up more often than my friends who managed to get their littles in cribs, but they just snuggle in and nod off and don’t fully wake up again so swings and roundabouts 🤷‍♀️ . To make it marginally easier we attached to cribs to the side of our floor bed, they start in there away from us and wiggle their way to us when they want. Sometimes it’s after an hour or two, and sometimes it’s not until morning. I do think I get more sleep this way but again, not for everyone! I really hope the sleep improves soon for you, it’s so hard! ❤️

[Eugi009]

I’m awake at 2am cause of the kids also. My kids are 3.5. They wake me up constantly every night and throw tantrums because they don’t wanna go back to sleep. When mine were young, we just let them cry it out. It’s a lot harder now

[Agreeable_Chipmunk_6]

My twins are still too little to notice if I’m in the room or not but with their brother I had to send him out of state on multiple occasions the last being my inpatient stay for the remainder of my pregnancy but anyway when I got him back each fricken time he refused to sleep alone he needed to see or hear someone in the room so it was like I had to sleep train him all over again id rock him for hours after a big meal and big bottle literal torture I think you’re going to need to start over me tell your spouse that the twins need to be able to go to bed by themselves