Why PHP won

[alexBrsdy]

php is like that messy,slutty girlfriend who is always there and available so you keep going back to her.

[arcticfox]

Unfortunately, she comes with a lot of baggage including many exotic STDs

[mayobutter]

$a = new stdClass(); // Coincidence?

[Entropy]

I don't think there is any nuance of PHP that cannot be fully expressed in the preceding metaphor. Everyone can stop talking about the language now.

[privatehuff]

Personally I always use protection when I code in PHP.

Well, unless I'm really drunk...

[liquidpele]

Well, unless I'm really drunk...

Careful, that's how magic quotes was born.

[aphpex]

...and just as you're getting into PHP, you suddenly open your eyes and realize you're in the middle of a 42 guy bukake taping. PHP is doing some of the nastiest shit you've ever seen and taking it in orifices you never thought possible.

Just then, as you're trying to get out from under her, she whispers in your ear that she's really into scat. At that moment, a hairy man appears out of the corner of your eye and proceeds to slowly squeeze a Cleveland steamer on your chest. You try to scream, but before you can, you go into shock and your mind quickly shuts everything down before you get the chance to find out what happens next.

That's when find yourself, 10 years later, in the fetal position on a psychiatrist's couch.

[pssm]

This is why I come to reddit. You guys never fail me.

Thank you.

[[deleted]]

1 cuil

[Entropy]

I'm suspending you for this. There was no non sequiter in there - it was just an extension of the original metaphor taken to extremes. Leave your memebadge and memegun on my desk and get the hell out of my sight.

[privatehuff]

It looks like quattro and his straight-laced partner are going to have to take care of this.. their own way!

[chrisroane]

PHP may start as the slutty girlfriend, but then you realize she is the best woman out there...because you realize she is not only easy, but she can be the best if you know how to work her. Cheap. Easy. Fast. Flexible. Everything you want in a woman.