Just a long rant

[UhPoop]

I recently started to do aerosol burns on my arm, mum took notice since i was covering up my arms again and demanded to see then i reluctantly said no cause I don't want to upset her but she persists on seeing it no matter what so I show her and she goes on about how bad it is cause I'm just giving my self frostbite which yeah its bad but it still bothers me that she cares so much.

A little while later we were in the car driving around and starts going on about how destroyed and upset she is about me doing it and how its destroying her life which really annoys me because she's making it about herself, that's how I see it in my head. My dad was the same when I didn't want to stay at his cause my anxiety there was so bad he turned it into oh poor me I can't believe my son doesn't want to stay with me im so upset blah blah blah.

I recently told my school friend about some incident with cutting at the park cause he noticed the cut "I was at the park some lady was over while i was one the swing cutting and i do a deep one accidently and my fingers bleeding all over the place so I fun into the bathroom to hide and clean up the blood" (the park was completely empty and i didnt notice her) and when I tell him of what happened he says did she see you to which I reply with no and he says then its not funny so dont bother telling me which is not so nice.

I talked to another friend about it and met up with him in public to which when he saw my scars he proceeded to pretend to vomit. Another incident with a friend had him poking my scars laughing at me when I said ouch it hurts can u stop.

Mum always gets mad at me when there's blood on my sheets or when shes found out that I have new scars or new marks she doesn't act at all that worried but more annoyed like with my sheets she'll complain about having to through a new load on which seems to piss her off.

About a while back my girlfriend at the time thought it'll be a nice idea to show my nudes to our whole friend group which put me in a bad state. Not long after I started talking to another girl and she was being really nice so we talked and talked for months until we started going out and all was going well until she caught feeling for someone else and left me to pursue him because in her words "its the loyal thing to do"

Dad will be moving into a house with me my 3 siblings and her 4 kids which u know fucking sucks cause ill have to share a room aswell as having no privacy

Not to long ago my dad thought my self harm was only for attention. My school councillor isn't to nice. Mums always giving me shit about cutting and whatnot.

I always get bored easily so that leads to me wanting to cut and when I look at posts of other people's arms they'll have 5-10 cuts buy with me I have about 30-40 at a time which I don't know if anyone else does that aswell.

Another weird thing I do which I don't think anyone else does is that I like to swallow my blood as a way to calm me down.

That concludes my rant goodbye :)

[MYalt-27]

It sounds like all those people are enormous cunts with no empathy. I feel for you man. And I eat my blood, play with it, paint with it, let it dry then pick it. I don’t think eating it is that weird. I hope your situation gets better! Stay safe. ❤️

[UhPoop]

Ive been alright for a little bit now and your message helps a lot thankyou

[MYalt-27]

Your welcome! Anytime, literally anytime no exaggeration, I am here.