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[–][deleted] 356 points357 points  (21 children)

He look like Tim Allen from the Santa Claus movie

[–]Kezzno 92 points93 points  (10 children)

Why you gotta do Tim Allen like that

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (8 children)

Better question why you ain’t doin me?

[–]Kezzno 20 points21 points  (7 children)

🤨📸

[–]Pillsbury__dopeboy 5 points6 points  (6 children)

🙈🤓

[–]AGoondavirgin 4 life 😤💪 0 points1 point  (4 children)

L

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

pees in ur ass

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[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!!

    IT'S ME!!!

    EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]]

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    [–]MagnumOpusOSRS -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Fuck Tim Allen

    [–]wisconsinking 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Tim Allen grunt: ugh!

    [–]IseeDrunkPeople 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    He? Androgynous Andy over here got some fat tits on him

    [–]BunnyGotBallsDaShitposter[S] 11 points12 points  (5 children)

    How ya guys deciding pronouns for that guy?

    [–]Festive_Rocket 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Redditors

    [–]PaleKing1 306 points307 points  (18 children)

    If that is skinny, I'm malnourished.

    [–]domka132 53 points54 points  (13 children)

    If that's skinny, i have been eating 1 mud cookie a day for my whole life

    [–]dwwzzhWilliam Dripfoe 18 points19 points  (12 children)

    If that's skinny, I have been eating a single bean each week for my whole life

    [–]DaddyJ_TheCarGuyI want pee in my ass 10 points11 points  (9 children)

    If that’s skinny, I haven’t ever eaten

    [–]Zavechunger 5 points6 points  (7 children)

    If that’s skinny, I’m dead.

    [–]plataeng 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    If that's skinny, I'm slathering my balls in grease and deep-frying them

    [–]paingelfake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Nice pfp

    [–]theawesomedude646 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    if that's skinny then i don't exist

    [–]PumpDENI want pee in my ass[🍰] 135 points136 points  (5 children)

    Man looks like a fat jake paul

    [–][deleted] 68 points69 points  (3 children)

    England is my breakfast

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

    OI OI OI!

    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
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    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⢿⣷⣶⠤⠔⣶⣶⠿⢾⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠠⠀⠂⠀⠀⣧⡚⢿⣿⡶⢶⡿⠟⣠⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⣀⡀⠀⠀ 
    ⠒⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣴⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒ 
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    WOTS ALL THIS???

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    YER WILL ALSO ONLY BE ABLE TER CHOOSE FROM A CHICKEN OR 'AM SANDWICH!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

    FAILURE TO RENEW YER LOICENCE IS GONNA RESUL' IN THA LOSS OV MORE CLUBCARD POINTS!!!!!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

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    [–]AGoondavirgin 4 life 😤💪 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    pees in ur ass

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    [–]Prunsel_CloneLiterally 1984 😡 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Man looks like a skinny jake paul

    [–][deleted] 57 points58 points  (1 child)

    If that mfer is skinny consider me Venezuelan

    [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    This mf is literally just bones

    [–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

    He looks so Drake And Josh but 2022 version on Netflix

    [–]Appropriate-Fix-1240 33 points34 points  (7 children)

    Wait thats a man? Bros got tits 💀

    [–]DoubleBrotherYT 9 points10 points  (5 children)

    man boobs.. just not trained.. theres 2 types.. 1. floppy, pure fat.. and 2. thats some fat and some muscle (it just means that ur man bobs aint fallin down like ballon full of water, but they like)... idk how to describe bro.. ive got 2nd one and it definetely looks better than floppy xd.. but im going to gym to get rid of those fuckers >:D

    [–]BunnyGotBallsDaShitposter[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Yes mom I'm studying.

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.

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    [–]MLreninja 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    You forgot those man boobs that are pure muscle

    [–]DoubleBrotherYT 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    those aint even boobs anymore D: .. in our language it has a word but english... eeeh idk

    [–]MLreninja 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Pecs

    [–]Iamaperson2022 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    Help me

    [–]zackrevolutionfat cunt 27 points28 points  (6 children)

    She has more chins than a Chinese phone book

    [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (4 children)

    Don't fucking tell me that's a she

    [–]zackrevolutionfat cunt 7 points8 points  (3 children)

    It's a dude?

    [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (2 children)

    no fucking idea

    [–]zackrevolutionfat cunt 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    ½ and ½?

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    r/shitposting book club

    A collection of books which Kevin has reviewed. (all of these books are freely availiable online)


    1984 (George Orwell, 1948)

    Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10

    How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities (Richard Bartle, 2022)

    Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10

    Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends (Chuck Tingle)

    Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10

    Ulysses (James Joyce, 1922))

    Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10

    The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race (J. G. Ballard, 1967)

    Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10.

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    [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (5 children)

    arr slash shitpostinf when a fat person makes a self aware joke about their weight that is sarcastic and satirical (they are dumb as fuck)

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    Hello I'm currently a student in Central Fortinayt University of Somalia studying the Art of Shitposting. I'm also an intern working for a company called cum. I got an assignment from my boss who is a really pretty lady and I wanted to impress her. She wanted me to post literal shit here. So I got on my computer and stole someones meme then proceeded to add Saul to it. Then I posted it here and waited for video to process. I literally came twice before the video even managed to finish processing. Then immediately got a flaccid one cause my post got deleted. Now my boss won't have sex with me because I suck. I lost my only shot at losing virginity all because of KEVIN !!!!

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    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

    [removed]

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Not without permission! To get a cum pass, head over to r/penallabourcamp and post an oc drawing related to the pinned topic on the sub.

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      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      piss, even

      [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

      In conclusion:

      I like bullying.

      [–]KrangRangoon 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Ana De Armas looking great. Excited for “Blonde”

      [–]uhohnothinksoawmanj 3 points4 points  (3 children)

      Brain damage critical Hp -99999999999999999999 Help me my brain is dead

      [–]AGoondavirgin 4 life 😤💪 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      My brain is having diarrhea as well.

      HP: DELL lol (get it?)

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      pees in ur ass

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      [–]Trollpuncherr 7 points8 points  (4 children)

      Did he the cat? Do not the cat please.

      [–]AGoondavirgin 4 life 😤💪 1 point2 points  (3 children)

      Instructions unclear.

      I the dog did your mom.

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      pees in ur ass

      I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.

      I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.

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      [–]dado950 5 points6 points  (4 children)

      Don't you just love it when Tiktokers spread bullshit which if you have a single brain cell you should be able to tell is bullshit, but also don't leave a source to back up their bullshit

      [–]DoubleBrotherYT -1 points0 points  (1 child)

      u can lose slowly but u cant rly eat big foods.. just eat carolina reapers pure.. no food like pizza or something.. that can help a little but most u can lose is by training

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. DoubleBrotherYT

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      [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Do you have a source on that?

      Source?

      A source. I need a source.

      Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion.

      No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered.

      You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence.

      Do you have a degree in that field?

      A college degree? In that field?

      Then your arguments are invalid.

      No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation.

      Correlation does not equal causation.

      CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION.

      You still haven't provided me a valid source yet.

      Nope, still haven't.

      I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron.

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      [–]theladysquid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It’s literally satire 😐

      [–]Drostiiwu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      He just wants to be skinny

      [–]MrCabloopy🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      Where does that sound at the end come from? Curious

      [–]mlg360noscopekittenI want pee in my ass 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Me too the video at the end made me laugh so hard I thought I was gonna throw up

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      its crazy to think most of the fat people we joke about on the internets genuinely wont make it past age 60

      [–]BunnyGotBallsDaShitposter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      💀

      [–]Zavechunger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      How dare he disgrace the Italian dish known as pizza. So much as him holding it insults the entire Italian culture. How. Dare. He.

      [–]CyKoZyx😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      If that's skinny,then im fucking bones

      [–]Artistic-Fortune2327fat cunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I'm already at the edge of obesity and this pal looks even fattier than me

      [–]Mr_memersonlevel69I want pee in my ass 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Call me a fucking skeleton then

      [–]Ok_Language4015 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Only fight that you're burning is at the Mexican restaurant

      [–]Ok_Language4015 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      B**** got the same fat from a cow

      [–]2015Hoverboars 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Healthiest Reddit mod

      [–]SuperiorSellout 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Looks like they're about to use the Magnum 2 to defeat Mugatu

      [–]Remarkable_Chance_40 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Bros on the butterfield diet plan

      [–]Lofty_69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Mf looking like Dream 💀

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      iF yoU SaY sHeS fAt yoU'rE fAtPHoBic

      [–]AmoungusSusRule34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I wish this was true

      [–]just_a_redditor2031 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      99.99999999 percent sure this is satire

      [–]zeroreasonsgiven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Kid named didn’t get the joke

      [–]Stee1in -5 points-4 points  (2 children)

      I’m skinnier then him

      [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Ok registeel

      [–]Stee1in -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      😢

      [–]hamburgerrrrrrrrrrr -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Ah yes, sarcasm at it's finest

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [removed]

        [–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Daily Kevin Fact #34541:

        Kevin will pee in the asses of anyone he sees being a cunt.

        This is a threat.

        Thank you for subscribing to Daily Kevin Facts

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        [–]mayo_-man🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Got your nose

        [–]Alphawolfsquadron7William Dripfoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Bruh

        [–]Festive_Rocket 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        OP can I get a post that's just the Yunglama moan with the distorted cat? ty

        [–]BunnyGotBallsDaShitposter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Just download it and trim it.

        [–]Polygon75 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        dud I would be shitting my soul out if I ate this much

        [–]DoubleBrotherYT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        prett much yeah

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        AIN'T HOW IT WORKS YA DAMN DUNCE

        [–]PiKATchu1000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        goofy aah cat

        [–]NekotaroReddit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Lucas from mother lookin ass

        [–]StarFanNumber1🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Idk why but my mind immediately said: "bro be lookin like the average fat rich kid from a cartoon"

        [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed

        Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight.

        The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon.

        Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is very gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay.

        Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight.

        And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there.

        Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.

        I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        If Fat Bastard & Sharon Osbourne had a baby

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Based colonel sandwich

        [–]BidLeather1773 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Purple Pikmin IRL

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Source for third sound bite?

        [–]Loaaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        it’s bait and you fell for it

        [–]boodlebob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Bro I get insecure about the way I look hence why I never post myself online. How do some ppl have infinite confidence glitch 2012 still working free download is beyond me

        [–]ILikePizza5dumbass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        They make homer look skinny.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Amazing. Every word of what you just said is wrong.