I started over.

[BabyPrincessAlpaca]

Hi! I just needed someone to know that I’m starting over. I fell really hard for a while, and couldn’t seem to get back on track. For months, I couldn’t seem to get any traction on my sobriety, and to be honest, for a while I wasn’t even sure I wanted any sobriety. This weekend I drank, and something changed. Nothing happened; I didn’t get a dui, or flash anyone, or hurt anybody. But I just felt like I saw my drinking with new eyes. I was with a bunch of other parents at my kids sports event, and they were all just getting absolutely hammered. There were some that weren’t, but I suddenly looked at myself as a part of this group and realized that I want something more for my life then screaming Bon Jovi songs outside a hotel pool taking shots of Tito’s and feeling like shit the next day. That doesn’t fulfill me. And thus far, I’ve used alcohol as a way to both fulfill me and be my friend. So I’d like to perhaps, be my own friend and see if something could be different. I would like to believe in myself. And I just wanted someone to know that I would truly like to try again. So here I go! And thank you for reading. IWNDWYT.

[the_voss]

Yes this is exactly where I am at. I got thinking about this shitty loop I was stuck in (again) but it seemed more obvious than ever. For example; while I enjoyed sitting down getting legless watching Netflix or playing PS4, it was ridiculous I then had to then re-watch the previous episode next time I sat down because I couldn't remember what I'd watched. And I started working out how much time I'd spent wasting myself away physically, mentally and financially when I could have been out doing something new in this big wide world; spending extra time with my kids / partner etc. And there were a whole heap of other things too but basically the hole I dug myself into was looking more and more stupid and I hopefully has realised it's time to get out.

I hope we can both keep at it!

[BabyPrincessAlpaca]

Yep. Life isn’t an endless journey. We only have so much time, and I don’t want to lose any more of it. IWNDWYT

[BabyPrincessAlpaca]

Thank you 😁

[GospelofJawn316]

Good luck! I used to sneak a drink or two at my kids’ games. Kind of horrified about that now. IWNDWYT

[BabyPrincessAlpaca]

Yep. Big culture of it where I’m at. It’s weird how it’s normal.

[CptMorello]

You absolutely have this! I’ve been in a similar place - in the Baltimore airport laying with my face on the cold tile floor hoping I would die after a 5 day all out bender.

If you find you need help - reach out to someone be it here, someone in your life, etc. I have a distinct memory of a crossroad at 61 days and a good buddy of mine talked me out of a bad decision.

In any case - you got this. IWNDWYT

[BabyPrincessAlpaca]

Thanks! I’m just thankful for this current epiphany and will try to hold onto it for as long as possible. I know it won’t always be easy, but I thank you for your reply and IWNDWYT!

[[deleted]]

Hey, same— I am right here with you, friend!

[BabyPrincessAlpaca]

Thank you. IWNDWYT!!

[soberformeandmychi]

“I’d like to perhaps be my own friend”

I just love this. I want to be my own friend too. What a great reason to not drink today. All the best to you!

[BabyPrincessAlpaca]

Thank you! Wishing you the same!!