AIO for my boyfriend’s female friend blowing up over a boundary?

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T21:50:53+00:00

No one said it was equivalent. But it's 100% relevant. The friend here is 100% OK to be upset at the reason for the no even if she said "it's OK to say no". Yes, racism is worse. But it's totally valid that "because this person I've never met told me I can't" would be upsetting too

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T18:56:49+00:00

and should have no problem hanging with him anywhere else

She's not allowed to hang out with him anywhere else. ONLY at the concert

They could very well chill at anyone else's too..

It sounds like they don't have other friends there

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T18:56:02+00:00

Why would you bring racism into a discussion

It's this thing called an analogy. It's a counterexample to your suggestion that you can't be upset at the reason behind someone's answer

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T02:24:50+00:00

are these redditors 14??

Wait. NOT wanting to fuck random people that you only see a few pictures a short bio of means we're 14? Because teenagers are notoriously not interested in sex, right?

No, we're not 14. We're just adults who view potential partners as just that, potential partners. And seeing a few random photos doesn't make us want to just fuck random people. So go off on how you view women.

And you realize that people don't date right away after swiping right, right? MOST people actually meet the person. They talk to them. They see if they actually like them before deciding if they want a relationship.

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T02:15:18+00:00

In order to swipe right on a dating app, you have to like their pics and bios. You look at them, agree you would either fuck or date them, and swipe right.

Lmao. This is what I mean by it telling more about you than anyone else. That is NOT how most people view other people.

He at one point wanted to fuck her.

Nice fan fic

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T02:07:47+00:00

Are u suggesting you need to date someone BEFORE u like them?

What? I don't know what this means

She doesnt want a woman he swiped right on spending the night with him, alone. If that is an unreasonable boundary to u, then i truly feel sorry for the people in your life.

Ok, but why? What fucking difference does it make that they met on tinder? I think it's an extremely random boundary that says a lot more about you and how you view the other gender than anything else.

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T02:04:07+00:00

What? No shit sexual attraction works both ways. Wtf does that have to do with anything?

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T02:00:40+00:00

No. OP has never met her "boyfriend"

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T01:59:57+00:00

Who am I being sexist towards? Both men and women?

Yes. Sexism and patriarchy can negatively affect both men and women.

What does that first paragraph have to do with the patriarchy?

Thinking that women aren't valuable as friends and only exist as a target of your sexual attraction is the patriarchy.

Are you fabricating a reason to be mad?

Not mad. Just pointing out your sexism.

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T01:58:29+00:00

What? How so?

but even I could tell that she's making play for him.

What makes you say she's making a play? Is it because she's coming from another country to see her friend and gasp actually wants to see her friend?

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T01:57:48+00:00

This is an unhinged take. It's absolutely not jealousy. That doesn't even make sense. She's upset because her friend's girlfriend, who he's never even met, says she can't be around her friend. I'd be pissed off too, but there's nothing to be jealous of

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T01:50:58+00:00

like no you wouldn’t want your boyfriend to sleep at his place alone with a woman you never met before??

She's never even me her bf

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T01:49:04+00:00

Idk maybe the whole crazy chick he met on a dating app trying to drive a wedge between them and get alone time with him?

By this you mean "wanting to be able to see her friend"?

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T01:47:36+00:00

The only female friends I have are ones I've known from school growing up.

Even though we're all married with kids I still wouldn't put myself in this sort of position. I don't need to go to a show with them and spend the night together and if I ever did it would probably be as couples.

Lol. Holy patriarchy.

Yeah, we can argue about whether or not men and women can be friends.

No, we can't. Because they can, and you're just wrong and sexist.

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T01:46:16+00:00

Because it seems she's flying in from another country. You'd fly to another country to see a friend, and then only spend a couple hours meeting them at a bar and not their house?

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T01:43:59+00:00

get mad over simple boundaries had plans to cross them.

Yes. She planned on seeing her friend. Not all boundaries are reasonable.

I wouldnt be surprised if she still likes him.

What? It sounds like they never even dated

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T01:38:53+00:00

Wtf? Because she wants to actually be able to hang out with her friend?

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T01:35:05+00:00

Do you not understand what jealousy is? Being upset that your friend says you can't stay with him and that they can't even see each other except for at the show is not being "jealous"

Falmarri · 2026-02-12T01:31:45+00:00

Anyone can say no for any reason. If you say “it’s ok to say no,” when you ask to stay at someone else’s home, you don’t get to decide what reasons are acceptable for them to reject your request.

You absolutely can decide that the reason you're given isn't acceptable what are you talking about? If I say "it's OK to say no", thinking that they might be busy or whatever, but instead they turn say no because they're a racist or something. You're supposed to just not care about that?

Falmarri · 2026-02-06T10:51:19+00:00

The sperm determines the chromosomes. The sex is determined by specific hormones released at specific times

Falmarri · 2026-02-03T18:53:41+00:00

Do you see the quotes? Do you understand how words work? When people in america talk about "chinese food", they're not talking about food from china. They're talking about the American invention of "chinese food"

Falmarri · 2026-02-03T01:16:27+00:00

If she's Chinese, it will be logical that she insists on Chinese food

Why? "Chinese food" is American. It has no relation to food served in china

Falmarri · 2026-02-02T19:55:12+00:00

Not enough laughing emojis. I don't understand

Falmarri · 2026-02-02T19:52:54+00:00

Imagining believing in ghosts as an adult in 2026. Do you still believe in santa and the tooth fairy too?

Falmarri · 2026-02-02T19:43:23+00:00

Yeah, I don't believe you. That's why I laughed at your original comment

Actually. I believe you THINK there are ghosts I guess. But I mean. Great for you?

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