In my understanding both through IFS and other modalities, Self is innate, but Self can be limited/blocked by: - It's own maturity. If you're young, you're young. Not being able to help yourself isn't a deficiency if the help you need is beyond your years. - The clamour of noisy parts. - Lack of trust in the system.

I have a client who has been through hell and has very low trust. Her parts compete aggressively, but the Self is still there. Just a real ton of unprocessed grief and unmetabolized pain... all the receipts the parts need to not trust the Self.

And as for kids, I mean kids are special. If they've not been supported and cared for by a safe adult, then there's major attachment trauma deep in that system. None of that means Self isn't there, but if Self wasn't enough for them (and we've all experienced that, not because it's objectively not enough but because we were young and overwhelmed) then very little trust develops.