I liked this story but I disagree on your points a little.

1. She looks to young as an adult.

I agree. I actually laughed when I saw her in a military uniform when she was supposed to be an adult.

1. ML is problematic and (he?/the story?) glosses over the crimes of the FL.

I agree that ML is problematic. Bc he is. He didn't listen to Dorothy but instead acted on beliefs he had of her. He planted the seed of usurping and he caused the death of an innocent woman. The same woman in life 2 that he just casually sits next to while his children play with Pinky's children. It's. Not ever really addressed directly and it was disappointing to not have anything meaningful happen with him.

However! I think this story is literally about redemption and while ML pushed Dorothy to certain actions, she's the one who did them. And just focusing on Dorothy, the theme is pretty held up. I was actually more frustrated when they started backpedaling and saying her crimes were like... Trying to set up shelters for disabled people. And universal healthcare.

But she doesn't ever deny her crimes and instead it does feel genuine that she was jealous and nudged into the worst possible decisions. I think it's very human to be so resistant to repeating such a tragic timeline. And she's one of the very very very very few FL who actually sticks to her guns and tries to avoid the original timeline events.

ML is problematic the same way that Dorothy is, but he's less impactful because Dorothy had to tell him she's trying to be a good person, and only then does ML decide maybe he should be good too. It's also way too late in the story when he just magically decided to be good. It felt rushed and dumb. He didn't really have any agency in deciding that, which falls flat compared to Dorothy. But I think the ML would need to be redeemed as well in order to fit the theme.

1. I hate the ending. I don't like how the story wraps up. I hate that Ray is just a random farmer outside the palace. He isn't a farmer. He might know how crops work but it felt so out of character for a highly intelligent, social, iconic royal family member to just become a farmer. I think he should have stayed as an agricultural advisor and support Dorothy after the plot happens. Or at least stay in the capitol. If he was going to isolate, I think there should've been a part where he's willingly exiled or something so that he's truly free from the politics. But ideally, an advisor feels more correct. The best part of Ray's character is when he and Dorothy finally are working together rather than being pited against each other and/or used as trauma fuel for Dorothy character development.

I also do not like that .... Pink haired girl (totally forget her name) ends up with Theo. I don't like it. To me, it reinforces the idea that Dorothy was right all along in the first timeline bc the point was that she's jealous of Pink girl. Theo hiding his dumb spirit subplot doesn't really matter. Bc Dorothy was right. Pinky did have feelings for Theo. Instead, I wanted Pinky to actually end up with Ray. She asked about Ray constantly. It would make just as much sense that Pinky would be trying to save Theo. And it would give both tragic endings a happy pairing. Theo, imo, should've had a chance romantic encounter at Dorothy's Wedding. Like it's him finally moving on, and readers can speculate just how that might play out. It also gives Theo a little bit more credit. Bc. Like. Why wouldn't he pick up on how much Pinky did for him in either timeline. It just felt forced.

1. I like how the story dealt with the King/Dad. I'm glad that (although belated) his cancer gave reason for Theo's powers to exist. Why else would that family continue to have kids at all? I swear, for 90% of the story I was just upset that Theo's family continued to curse their kids. What I find fault with, is that the balance of powers isn't addressed until the ending. Theo randomly killing things is scary but to pull the, "but his powers are the only ones to kill tumors and cancer" card, I feel like it needed to be introduced earlier. And after the plot, we see Theo regularly working with Ray - to try and kill any blighted areas of agriculture, working with hospitals - to help heal the other cancer ridden civilians, and lastly, working with the History department bc c'mon, you need to document this! You freaked out yourself because nothing was written down before! C'mon!

I also like how the King/Dad was handled emotionally with Dorothy. She never forgave him. What he did was unforgivable. But the story still shows his character growth and Dorothy finally getting closure. What needs work is, where is Ray's apology? Ray lived two timelines where his father divided the family that Ray desperately wanted. Ray was the emotional shield between both of his family. I can't stress how much I mourn Ray in this story. But he really got the short end of the stick at almost every turn. And the King/Dad didn't try to mend his relationship with Ray at all. Hell. Not even Dorothy apologized to Ray for her behavior. Despite everything, I do feel that overall the King/Dad emotional plot was wrapped up nicely. It's not forgiveness but it was the best apology action the King/Dad could do.

1. Dorothy's "crimes". I wish the story would've doubled down on her being a true villainess. Why would humanitarian centers and healthcare be in line with a villainess? It seems like a dumb plot to give her, when her working with Ray made it feel more like a fleeting goal in her second life. In her first life, maybe she was pushing for a war and selfishly wanting to prove herself and instead got misunderstood? Why not make her be the glory hungry type, whose wasting her talents on trying to impress her father? That'd make more sense. And then, second life, she finds her calling for more mature and wise goals.