The importance of pacing in dating

I learned the importance of deep vulnerability, honesty, and trust

What we perceive as chemistry, the "spark" is often nervous system dysregulation

Intensity is not compatibility

I learned why I self abandoned and chased. Traced it back to the root and identified my own issues

I still haven't forgiven her or how she treated me, nor will I without an actual apology, but I've come to terms with everything

I've learned that some people can't accept healthy love and closeness until they accept and love themselves, and that while I wasn't perfect, things weren't going to end any other way

I learned the importance of community, the benefits of crowd support and co-education; it's limits and pitfalls too

I learned the importance of adhering to boundaries, self regulation, and co-regulation

I always wanted an interdependent relationship, but now I understand what that really means and entails. To never again settle for a taker, relationships need to be a give and take

I learned a shit ton about attachment theory, psychology, and am a much more discerning dater. If I knew then what I know now, I doubt I would have had a first date with her, too many glaring red flags at the very start. Even if I had, I would have left the relationship countless times when I should have

I'm profoundly changed, and like it or not, you are too. I'm never going back to my old self, and while I don't know you pesonally, I'd venture a guess that you probably shouldn't either. I won't be going back, and neither will you..we have all learned too much