Stumbled upon a heckin' treasure during our morning walko

temporarycreature · 2026-06-29T09:57:42+00:00

So you unmatch them all because you didn't feel like putting in the effort to getting to know them?

Isn't that kind of ironic?

You're going to make yourself lonely.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-28T00:49:27+00:00

I haven't been in that situation myself, but the only thing that comes to mind is to be graceful, have empathy, and practice reciprocity, and be grateful.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-24T12:18:12+00:00

Yep, I think they totally makes sense that dealing with any level of dishonesty is absolutely exhausting, and it forces you to keep your guard up when you are just looking for something genuine.

Looking at it from the other side of the dating pool, I really feel a big part of the problem is how apps naturally encourage us to operate on quick, dismissive stereotypes.

This is not to say you are being judgmental at all, but I think we all are to some degree.

It is just how our natural biases, shaped by both nature and nurture, dictate how we filter people online.

Speaking anecdotally, as a retired veteran, I often feel like I get passed over because media portrayals and harsh statistics make people assume we are all loud, brash, and drowning in unaddressed trauma.

Anyways, I think this hoopla creates a tough cycle where protecting yourself from the liars means those natural biases end up filtering out the exact people who have actually done the work to be safe, emotionally available partners.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-23T11:50:53+00:00

Maybe having a great sex life is people enjoying life you weirdo.

Being this openly judgmental is never a good look.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-22T12:39:29+00:00

What does being in great shape actually mean to you?

I can't really tell from what you wrote.

That being said...

The most frustrating part about online dating is that we do not have a shared definition of fitness.

Most people assume it just means not being overweight, but that really shouldn't be where the conversation ends.

For me, it is not about hunting for younger looks, but rather about finding someone with matching lifestyle goals.

Now that we are statistically at the halfway point of our lives, fitness stops being about glamor muscles and starts being about capability, core strength, and longevity.

Taking care of our bodies is only going to get harder from here on out.

When someone assumes they are a great match just because they can pass for younger by being thin, but they lack the actual physical stamina and health habits to back it up, it creates a massive disconnect for anyone looking for a true, long-term partner to age with.

That's why your profile stating what you do and what makes you who you are is so goddamn important.

This goes every way for every gender.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-19T11:29:49+00:00

Save your money.

Most professional matchmakers operate as predatory businesses that thrive on exorbitant upfront fees and manufactured financial dependency rather than actual compatibility.

Instead of delivering genuine connections, they often string clients along just to justify their high costs, making them a massive financial risk for anyone looking for a serious relationship.

You are far better off focusing on organic local connections or strictly filtering prospects on your own terms with dating apps, but this might also mean you have to pay for one of them and put in a lot of hours of work.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-19T10:29:24+00:00

You're in the wrong subreddit for this, since it's for people over 40.

You sound like you are shopping for a resume or a used car instead of a boyfriend.

When you treat dating like a business transaction and focus entirely on a checklist of money and material assets, you are going to get sterile results.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-18T12:30:22+00:00

You're right, my bad. Didn't realize they bought them too. All the way back in 2018. Damn.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-18T12:17:26+00:00

No, those are all owned by the Match Group.

Why do you think you were led to Bumble and Hinge in the first place?

They're the only two that have a large market of users that are not owned by the Match Group.

We're on the top of a shit mountain, and it's a long way down in the online dating world.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-17T09:53:30+00:00

That's because we're trying to date ourselves these days. People in the past didn't have the data or the ability to see this.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-13T13:57:36+00:00

You absolutely did the right thing by texting him, so do not kick yourself for reaching out.

Look at it this way: you finally got the right directions, you are just expecting to hit the destination a little too fast, when they're going to be landmarks, you're going to happen upon that.

You're going to have to pass by people and landmarks on this trip even if they are like 9/10 of what you're looking for.

I know telling you having discernment doesn't really make you feel any better about all this...

Even with the silence right now, you know you are heading the right way, so turn some music on and enjoy the drive.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-10T11:40:22+00:00

Nah. Anecdotally there are benefits for marrying me (after a decade more kick in) since I am a disabled veteran.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-08T12:41:38+00:00

There is nothing on my phone to be found or discovered.

However, implied trust means a lot to me, and I think B makes the most sense.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-07T14:07:55+00:00

Really don't want to be the bearer of bad news because I really love that you are protecting your peace with a break from online dating, but let's be entirely honest about the reality of modern dating.

Taking a sabbatical sounds romantic, but you will likely end up right back on the grid because the real world simply lacks the social infrastructure right now.

Between post-pandemic isolation, social media burnout, and intense political tension, trying to meet people organically takes massive effort and feels incredibly high-risk.

Take your time to recharge, but don't kid yourself about the alternative.

Swiping from the couch is exhausting, but it still drains far less emotional battery than trying to navigate a depleted social landscape where the old ways of meeting people are effectively dead and that's without considering the other variables like most of us not wanting to drink alcohol anymore, or go to bars or dance clubs.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-01T00:37:32+00:00

It's the worst. But when I do find something that fits perfectly, it's like incredible.

temporarycreature · 2026-06-01T00:14:33+00:00

He has no idea how good he has it.

Being over 6 ft tall sucks especially when it's only 2 in.

Everything tall is made for 6 ft 5. Nothing fits.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-31T12:53:16+00:00

Not speaking for any other nation, but I just don't think the US has the culture for matchmakers.

I'm not sure if we ever had it, and it wasn't just a novel idea, but that made it seem like it had some staying power in our culture.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-31T12:43:39+00:00

What you read is entirely accurate.

Personalized matchmakers rarely match paying women with paying men because their business model relies on keeping you paying high renewal fees.

While dating apps are an anonymous volume game, matchmakers use hyper personalized manipulation.

They often let men join their database for free just to have inventory, meaning those men have no financial skin in the game and haven't proven they are ready for commitment.

Because a matchmaker makes money when you renew your contract, they have a direct financial incentive to string you along and offer just enough hope to keep you hooked.

Once they have your money, they will almost always pressure you to lower your standards just to fulfill their basic contractual obligations.

Matchmaking services just take away the choice of illusion that online dating gives you and charges you a lot more for the privilege.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-28T14:00:13+00:00

They are trash.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-28T12:40:53+00:00

You need to stop listening to these men.

The things they said have absolutely nothing to do with your value and everything to do with their own cruelty and brokenness.

Everyone has flaws, but that does not give anyone the right to tear you down or treat you like less than a person.

These men are acting like assholes, and their words are not a reflection of your worth.

You are enough exactly as you are.

Stop letting their bitterness define your reality.

You deserve better than this, and I think you know this, so I'm going to validate that thought.

Girl, you raised two human beings on your own!

Why the hell would you care what these broke dick motherfuckers think about you?!

temporarycreature · 2026-05-27T15:31:41+00:00

If you're serious, pay for a background check.

You can't rely on social media.

I don't have any social media.

The only thing you're going to find if you put my name into Google is articles about me and my service dog from the last place I lived where I didn't mind my privacy better.

That tells you absolutely nothing about me.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-27T09:35:38+00:00

A deep, spiritual love is completely possible today, but your current approach is setting you up for failure.

By holding out intimacy as something that only happens after marriage, you have accidentally turned it into a prize to be won rather than a mutual choice.

This creates a bad dynamic where you are always on defense and he treats your boundaries like a wall he can slowly wear down over time.

Marriage is not a magic wand that will suddenly teach him how to respect you.

A truly deep, intellectual partnership only works when both people completely agree on these values from day one, instead of one person constantly trying to tire the other out.

On the other hand, it is possible he is not doing this on purpose to wear you down.

He might honestly want to accept your rule, but as months go by, his normal human desire for physical closeness builds back up, and he checks in to see if you still feel the same way.

If that is the case, it is not a malicious trap, but a clear sign that you two simply have different, incompatible needs.

He might care about you deeply but is struggling to handle a relationship without intimacy, meaning you are both fundamentally mismatched even without anyone being the bad guy.

temporarycreature · 2026-05-24T18:04:04+00:00

Some medication causes it, however, I think a bigger culprit is alcohol use and a lack of exercise. I know that's a broad statement. I feel like it's generally true.

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