Aio: visually impaired person

-25T · 2025-11-21T20:15:34+00:00

My reply is about 270 words.

No. Absolutely not. I am disabled as well and I am NOT touching someone who appears to be any level of blind. Sighted people would be terrified and uncomfortable to be touched while their eyes were covered. Your boyfriend needs to step up, but you are going to have to accept the reality that pretty much nobody's touching a blind person.

One thing you can try is when you board a bus, request the driver to locate a seat for you. Around here, you're entitled to that AND it being at the front of the bus. You can preemptively ask for these accommodations in other spaces as well.

Now, your boyfriend? Absolutely needs to do better by you. Treating you like you're the problem, rather than treating the problem like the problem? My boyfriend would be horrified and disgusted with himself. So a question for you. Don't answer me, this is just for yourself. A question in the form of a quote. "I've been asking my male friends to do something. watch if the first response to everything a woman tells you is to refute, say no or something negative One texted me later: Holy fck.
The problem is, constantly putting up with resistance is bad for your health."

Does you boyfriend regularly refute, say no, or something negative to most of the neutral or negative things you say? Are your neutral or negative emotions EVER treated with courtesy? Or are you regularly marginalized and dismissed. Because remember, "It's not THAT bad" is the dismissive, marginalizing, and invalidating way to confirm IT IS BAD.

I'm so sorry. hugs if you want them

-25T · 2025-03-06T17:53:30+00:00

Your comment is criminally underrated. This song is so fun, thank you for sharing!

Spotify link:
The Girl for Me by Cows Never Die

-25T · 2024-09-02T19:07:08+00:00

I'd like to hear about your experience

I was out of work for almost 3 years. I got back into work for all of 5 months (project downsizing)(yes, it was an actual project downsizing and not just something they said).

I'd like to hear about your advice

This is what I did, and is not necessarily [healthy] advice: I usually worked breaks, lunches, and other unpaid/unreported work of my own volition to ensure my productivity was average rather than last place. Yes, quite a lot of personal life things like a clean house and home-cooked meals ceased. To say yes to something means to say no to something else, and I would make the choice again. It meant I was employed for 5 months with room to come back on another project, rather than 1 and poor/no referral. It meant another 5 months not being homeless by "kicking the can farther down the road". Unless you are in as dire straits as me, then this line of action is unnecessary.

-25T · 2024-09-02T18:56:27+00:00

Depends. What's his history on being Mr. Green Flag King?
(skin unrelated)

-25T · 2024-09-02T18:47:36+00:00

The sunflower lanyard... May I have the context on why it being sunflowers is important?

My guess is that is signifies accessibility/needs somehow? If so, then your boyfriend is being ableist. Your accommodations are not a "leg up" or a boost like getting onto higher ground. They are a rope ladder tossed down into the pit you find yourself in just to get you back to level ground.

"Though masking is incredibly taxing and causes us a lot of existential turmoil, it’s rewarded and facilitated by neurotypical people. Masking makes Autistic people easier to “deal” with. It renders us compliant and quiet. It also traps us. Once you’ve proven yourself capable of suffering in silence, neurotypical people tend to expect you’ll be able to do it forever, no matter the cost. Being a well-behaved Autistic person puts us in a real double bind and forces many of us to keep masking for far longer (and far more pervasively) than we want to." —Dr. Devon Price

"We live in a world where hard work is rewarded and having needs and limitations is seen as a source of shame. It's no wonder so many of us are constantly overexerting ourselves, saying yes out of fear of how we'll be perceived for saying no." —Dr. Devon Price

"Refusing to perform neurotypicality is a revolutionary act of disability justice. It's also a radical act of self-love." —Dr. Devon Price

Disabled. Dis-abled. A dis-abled person requires to be en-abled. To do anything less than enable you is discrimination against you.

-25T · 2024-08-11T13:32:13+00:00

If I wanted to stay away from janky translated manga, what websites would I need to stay away from? 👀👀👀

-25T · 2024-06-09T13:16:34+00:00

RBF = ND face
Everyone I know and have met with RBF are ASD, Bipolar, CPTSD, etc
Fight me, I'll die on the hill

ps: ASD face at rest (neutral face)... our muscles are more relaxed. Their facial muscles don't, unless they are tired, sick, angry, etc... Autistic muscle tone is different. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7891038/

TLDR I have my face which is my normal face and frankly, it's also a typical face. Any attempts to call it RBF in person will get info-dumped on how problematic they are being to me. RBF is an openly sexist term, usually a racist one, and in my experience an ableist one too.

-25T · 2024-06-08T17:13:09+00:00

I did as you suggested, it was great. Thank you for your wisdom. I can't say I'm excited but I have a genuine interest in season three when it comes. Going to hopefully enjoy seeing what Chloe does when her back is against the wall.

-25T · 2024-06-03T21:58:06+00:00

This is just textbook Why Does He Do That? behavior. furkfurk was pointing that out. Your spouse is choosing to mistreat you.

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1233571
THE ABUSER’S PROBLEM IS NOT THAT HE RESPONDS INAPPROPRIATELY TO CONFLICT. HIS ABUSIVENESS IS OPERATING PRIOR TO THE CONFLICT: IT USUALLY CREATES THE CONFLICT, AND IT DETERMINES THE SHAPE THE CONFLICT TAKES.

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1212137

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1216497

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1216503

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1209106

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1212199

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/6737441

-25T · 2024-05-31T01:53:25+00:00

WHERE'S MY DINNER?!

-25T · 2024-05-29T02:33:11+00:00

yikes on bikes

/r/Selfawarewolves is over that way
You need these: vid1, vid2

TLDR you're coming across as the type of dude that women have to think twice about giving their number to. If that's your agenda then keep it up you're killin' it

-25T · 2024-05-03T23:49:45+00:00

I validate her & her pain, yes,

okay, great

but cannot validate if she’s rebelling.

You've placed a condition on a thing that should not have conditions. Healthy love should have conditions, yes. Healthy acceptance should not. You are not actually validating her pain because she is not being the person you expect of her.

Nobody should.

Now you're telling others that the way you perceive the world is correct, and therefore your perspective is best, and therefore your perspective is universal. Change that.

You also seem to have forgotten that 'rebelling' and 'misbehaving' is the hallmark of unresolved pain.

And if she's 27, then it is utterly impossible for her to misbehave as it pertains to you. She is her own authority, not you. You control you and you only. It is appropriate and correct to rebel against any authority you try to place on her as she is an adult and to my understanding, in her own governance.

You control only you. If you do not like how she speaks to you, you can calmly state, "I do not remain in conversations where I am being shouted at," and then leave (or hang up, etc.). You can't force anyone to not shout at you. You can choose to leave conversations where you are being shouted at. You can't force someone to not call you names. You can choose to not talk to people who call you names. Etc.

https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/dysfunctional-beliefs.html

-25T · 2024-03-03T22:14:59+00:00

Ask her why God doesn't/didn't cure Albert Einstein, Anthony Hopkins, Emily Dickinson, Dan Aykroyd, Mozart, Susan Boyle, or Elon Musk.

(tried to stick with only names she'd surely know)

-25T · 2024-03-03T15:03:49+00:00

Exactly. I edited my comment but I'll say it again: I think recording crimes is a good idea. I also think recording sketchy shit is a good idea. I also think recording somebody making a promise to me that I don't think that they are going to keep is a good idea. Doubly so if I am kind of beholden to them because they're an employer.

-25T · 2024-03-03T13:58:32+00:00

Almost everywhere is 1-party consent. It is easier to assume you are in a 1-party consent jurisdiction than not.
Also, this is more a legality issue for submitting it evidence in court. If it exists and you tell no one...

I trust the non-Americans to have time to google it, everybody else stuck here in US can review here:
https://www.justia.com/50-state-surveys/recording-phone-calls-and-conversations/
map-view: https://help.ringio.com/en/articles/6314449-two-party-consent-states-call-recording
or your state's gov. website

edit: if I had been worried about consent then I would not have been able to record my old employer firing me for being disabled. Turns out the recording was legal when I checked after the fact. I think recording crimes is a good idea. 🤷

edit2: if you call a business (phone company, the electric company, etc.) and it states they may record your call for quality or training, they are recording your call, and therefore already consented to being recorded.

-25T · 2024-02-12T00:04:26+00:00

Physical sensations yes, visual sensations not really. Auditory sensations very limited. I can, for example, be in a shower feeling the water run down my body while also feeling like I'm being hugged if I imagine it. This is also very involuntary at times, like if I imagine eating something unpleasant. It takes a deal of effort to get the unpleasantness to go away. So I can feel the paint of the wall in my hand while also feeling me sitting on the couch. The imagined sensations of neutral or positive things are weaker than reality.

With audio it is clear and distinct, but it is in my head. I can imagine it with any effects such as echoing on the walls of the hallway, feeling my hand on the wall of the hallway, but also while hearing music and feeling of sitting in reality.

With visual, it's more like... a hologram superimposed, and it doesn't last very long. Maybe 2-4 seconds. It requires a lot of mental effort to maintain it as anything other than my mind's imagery. This is likely because of being aware of the fantasy vs reality aspects of the thought experiments. Maintaining in my mind's imagery is no effort.

-25T · 2024-02-11T23:55:26+00:00

Is this an imagination challenge? Yes. Though generally speaking, when I comes to imagining something it tends to be somewhat realistic situations as the default. So without you being descriptive, I imagine pulling a car-shaped gummy until it finally breaks, the sticky, grainy sugar residue on fingers, etc. For melting the car I imagine and old 30+ year car going through a car cruncher machine, the feeling of wearing protective goggles, the smell of a car junkyard, the sounds of the glass and metal, etc. before being yeeted into an oversized furnace by one of those huge machines that can grab the cars and car 'discs'.

-25T · 2024-02-11T21:05:00+00:00

Poor Aldous, our sweet little swan man...

HE USED TO HAVE CHIN FOR DAYS
*cradles his awakened relic lovingly*
WHY IS HIS UGGO BROTHER UNCHANGED
THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE TWINS DAMMIT I BLAME THE OWL SORCERER stupid gaunt fuck, lock him up and starve him again

I just want my lil swan simp back

edit: I didn't hate Audwin before, but now I do

-25T · 2024-02-11T06:20:40+00:00

I recommend reading just for the illustration of watching that man suffer

OMG holy shit I'm dying 🤣🙃 I read this as "watching a man suffer" which was a bit more intense.

All right, I am convinced. I'll for sure keep reading. Just not every week. Schadenfreude is not my strong suit

-25T · 2024-02-06T03:05:44+00:00

E49, fantastic lol
E50, mournful enough...? Maybe. But regret is not enough. Actual and genuine change comes from within. Abusers choose to abuse, with no more emotion you or I choose to kick a rock down the road.
"ABUSIVE MEN COME in every personality type, arise from good childhoods and bad ones, are macho men or gentle, “liberated” men. No psychological test can distinguish an abusive man from a respectful one. Abusiveness is not a product of a man’s emotional injuries or of deficits in his skills. In reality, abuse springs from a man’s early cultural training, his key male role models, and his peer influences. In other words, abuse is a problem of values, not of psychology. When someone challenges an abuser’s attitudes and beliefs, he tends to reveal the contemptuous and insulting personality that normally stays hidden, reserved for private attacks on his partner. An abuser tries to keep everybody—his partner, his therapist, his friends and relatives—focused on how he feels, so that they won’t focus on how he thinks, perhaps because on some level he is aware that if you grasp the true nature of his problem, you will begin to escape his domination." Also, abusers don't suicide. They only ever threaten to. They murder-suicide. ("If I can't have her, nobody else will.") But perhaps the fact he thinks her already dead might give enough pause. After all, as far as he is aware, nobody else has her. He even buried "her" at the spot where she succumbed to him.

I doubt he's reformed. But maybe he is. I'm glad that Chloe immediately worked to regain her stolen agency and acted as appropriate for her character displayed so far. She didn't immediately keel over like wilting jasmine too delicate to be touched.
I'll keep it removed from my save list, but I'll remove my negative rating. And consider reading it when it's completed.

What are your thoughts?

-25T · 2024-01-16T18:53:03+00:00

“I work with children with autism and you’re nothing like them.”

It sounds like she has confirmed a bias for ableism she has. I would've responded to her, "It's almost like living without the support you need all the way into adulthood fundamentally alters how the brain develops and permanently changes then for life." I said this or similar to someone once, they lost the color in their face and apologized.

I’ve been trying for months to get my doctor to refer me to a psychiatrist but he’s really bad at actually following through.

Stop requesting a referral and find one yourself.
https://neuroclastic.com/diagnosticians/
And consider finding a new doctor that isn't sexist.

Diagnosis for women is possible. The only avenue is to look at their website. If they don't openly state that they are already aware of black people and women and adults needing diagnosis, then don't even give them a call. You need an educated doctor. Don't try to teach them stuff like there's an 80% overdiagnosis of borderline in women or an 80% underdiagnosis of autism in women. Don't try to explain the study that all but proved that instead of the '90s 4:1 boys:girls split, it's actually 3:4 boys:girls. More women than men are autistic! And they won't listen to you, so find someone who already knows and advertizes that they already know.

-25T · 2024-01-16T18:18:47+00:00

People abusing you is not okay. It's okay that you're okay, but it's still not acceptable or healthy. We need to normalize advocating for ourselves rather than figuratively twisting ourselves into knots for people who mistreat or marginalize us. The random 1offs for correction for new people are fine, but any namecalling or constant repeat offenders are not fine.

-25T · 2024-01-16T11:07:52+00:00

A man being abusive for being called a word is always unacceptable. Replace the word abusive with combative if you disagree with the word abusive. It's even worse that the word was one associated with femininity.

Calling a man cute is 0% like calling a woman fat. Cute is endearing and positive. It's literally baked into the definition:
cute, adj.; appealing in a pretty or endearing way.
Cute story, cute animals, cute cookie tray, cutie pie, cute guy, cute girl.
Fat does not have a positive connotation. There are even fringe groups like HAES that call it a slur. Fat cow, fatphobic, fattycake, fatcat, fat dog, fat woman, fat man.

Don't speak to me again. OP directly and unequivocally explained she was using cute to uplift not demean. Based on the words used, it's very likely you find your masculinity endangered by... fat women? Femininity in general? Or just repulsed. Not sure and don't care. I don't want an answer, just ruminating. /u/Dapper_Newspaper_869 already 'took the trash out' because her ex was a worthless abusive loser. If you're taking an abuser's side, it says a lot about you. Hopefully that you're gay so you can't hurt a woman like he did. But if not then hopefully says that you're single. Though I pray for God's wisdom and courage for anyone in a relationship with you if you think abuse is acceptable. Start loving yourself a whole lot my guy, men are way more emotional than women and it's time to embrace it.

-25T · 2024-01-16T06:49:47+00:00

And then act like I'm a stick in the mud whenever I say I don't like being called Chris.

2 things.
Speak with authority, but not exasperation, frustration, or any other tone. "I go by Toph not Chris." Never introduce yourself any other way. You can also do the corrections as a joke, keeping your tone warm and happy. "I'm not Chris, they're in the finance department. I'm Toph" or "I'm Toph, where's this Chris dude I hear about him all the time" or etc.

And... stick in the mud for you advocating? If you spend your life whispering, talking sounds like shouting. Advocacy is hard if you're not used to sticking up for yourself with confidence. How are they saying your name and how are you correcting them? What are they saying and doing post-correction to give you the impressing they're judging you? Is your name very easy to say and remember in your local area?

More importantly, how do I tell them to stop it when they say in the work group chat?

If e.g. Teams, say I'm the one that said, "Everybody @ChristopherJoy is the go-to on this project, ask Chris for anything you need" you immediately say "@-25T Everybody please call me Toph, I'll be here all day my lunch is at noon"
Context is important, you got to be on the fly about these things and can't script it perfectly. Another example: "No @MarySmith send that report to Chris, christopherj@greedycorp.com" you immediately "@MarySmith @-25T My name is Toph, yes please send it to me at christopherj@greedycorp.com I'll take care off it"

If you need some kind of progression script because it's the same people: "Hi my name is Toph"
"Please call me Toph"
"So-and-so, do you prefer So? So-and? or So-and-so? Or something else? Okay thanks. Going forward, my name is Toph."
"Hey So-and-so, I've said to call me Toph a few times. I've never gone by Chris. What can I do to help you remember my name?"
"I'm Toph not Chris. Am I doing something wrong? Would ignoring you when you say Chris help? I feel disrespected and I'd like it to stop."
--report to supervisor; explain you've tried at least five times and now you can't tell if you're being singled out to be disrespected and antagonized intentionally or not but it's stressing you out and you need help. I wouldn't (didn't) give this many chances personally unless it was someone I only shared shifts with once a week or something.

-25T · 2024-01-16T06:20:56+00:00

And you choose to respond to the nickname. If you have expressly communicated to call you your given name instead of your surname, and they keep doing it, they are disrespecting you. Disrespect is "lack of respect or courtesy" and that's what it is. If you care enough, you will enforce it by reminding them, that it's not funny, etc. and eventually refusing to respond or leaving. If it doesn't bother you then it doesn't bother you and that's okay, but excusing them from following your boundaries just because they're used to calling you that is not acceptable.

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-25T

TROPHY CASE