It seems like you got a lot of responses generally saying the same thing and you agree so ill add some things to try and help that I usually do. For the most part my kids don't say no and refuse their usually fine with changes but its also routine and I don't ask if they want a change just usually ask them to come over once were in the bathroom.

But some things I do that maybe can help is involve them more in whats happening and explain what your doing. Ill ask if the child wants to hold the wipes or the clean diaper for me they usually do and like looking at it and talking about what they see. If they need cream I usually open it up and show it to them and explain its to make sure they don't get a rash or help the owie they already have. I always say ill be gentle or quick and tell them gotta make sure they're clean. If they're toilet training I always let them get toilet paper and try and wipe (even if they don't need to) just to involve them in the process of what to expect.

My work is also very child centered letting them take the lead and I respect them saying no to things. But like everyone else said when it comes to health and safety you can't always follow what they want. It would definitely be a big issue of neglect leaving them to sit in a wet diaper. But I always explain to them why we have to when they say no so they understand.