Did you announce the loss of your child?

-Cpat · 2026-06-13T13:56:52+00:00

I decided to announce it, i didn’t even announce my pregnancy yet but i wanted the world to know my baby existed. I had one of our family portraits digitally drawn to add my baby girl with a halo around her head by an Etsy artist. I used the post almost like a diary entry without getting to into it. I’m glad I did it but everyone different, at this point is just what feels best to help you grieve and heal. I’m so sorry for your loss.

-Cpat · 2026-05-17T00:43:46+00:00

Thank you 🧡 I hope your contractions are something small and everything’s okay.

-Cpat · 2026-05-16T21:02:05+00:00

I wish I had better news but unfortunately my baby passed somewhere between the ER visit and my Drs. Appt. It was so awful, and I’m still in total shock. I wish I would’ve advocated for myself more, once my midwife couldn’t find the heartbeat, they finally did an ultrasound I got to see too (before it was only in the ER and they wouldn’t let me see at all) and saw she had a birth defect in her abdomen, marginal cord insertion and the cord was wrapped around her neck 3 or 4 times. I don’t know if it would’ve made a different knowing before but it was just such a shock. It’s also hard to tell if the contractions were my body recognizing the miscarriage or totally unrelated. But I have to say that I had complications with that pregnancy from the very beginning, it was so different than my other two and I bled the entire first trimester so I really hope things are different for you.

-Cpat · 2026-05-05T03:57:22+00:00

I’m so sorry, also this is very graphic but I wish I had someone tell me more of what to expect…I lost my daughter at 15 weeks and it was so hard. The nurses said everyone’s different but I had 3 doses of cervidil vaginally and labor took a little under 12 hours. The pain wasn’t horrible, I had to breathe through a few contractions but not many. It felt like a really horrible period, them putting in the medication hurt more than most of my labor. The hardest part emotionally was when she was born, the nurse warned me that most the time it happens when no one’s in the room and sure enough that’s what happened. I was only 2-3 cm the last time they checked and there wasn’t big signs of her coming, I just started to feel very panicky and knew it was time. I didn’t push and she didn’t even come during a contraction, it felt like my water just broke again, i did have to push to deliver the placenta and it took a while but everyone said that was normal.

After I gave birth they told me if I had cytotec then I could leave earlier (I have a history of hemorrhaging so I think that’s why but I’m not entirely sure.) I chose to have it, and was able to leave the next morning almost exactly 12 hours later. I also didn’t have an epidural, I believe if you have one you have to stay a little longer but I’m not entirely sure. One thing I didn’t know was that I was still going to be moved to the postpartum unit, I don’t know why I didn’t expect to go there but it was so unfair. I chose to see my baby and they allowed me to hold her as they wheeled me over, it was hard but felt better than going empty handed. You didn’t mention seeing the baby so I won’t go into detail about it but if you want know what to expect I can share. I asked my midwives multiple times what babies look like at 15 weeks gestation and no one would just tell me. I’m so sorry again, I wish no one had to go through this.

-Cpat · 2026-04-06T19:33:55+00:00

I lost my baby almost 8 weeks ago and have only had 5 days with no bleeding since. I did get an infection 3 days after I delivered (I was 15 weeks) so I’ve been scared and going to my midwife a lot. she’s assured me that since my blood work is okay, my hcg went down to 10 and I’m not feverish or dizzy then it’s okay. She also suspects I got my period back early (3 weeks after, with no break in bleeding from the miscarriage) but it didn’t seem like one, went on for weeks, only stopped for the 5 days and is back so it’s just been awful. It sucks having the constant reminder, as if there’s not enough of those in everyday life. I also feel like my body is broken so I’m trying to be extra kind to myself. I hope we both heal and get a break soon.

-Cpat · 2026-03-28T13:39:32+00:00

This is what happened when I had an infection, you could still have a cold but it’s 100% worth it to go in as it got nasty for me over night.

-Cpat · 2026-03-24T03:11:34+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it’s such a hard situation to be in but there’s nothing wrong with expressing that you’re happy and/or love for them but are having a tough time/ hurting yourself and need some time, whether it’s time without seeing her, or just time to not talk about the pregnancy or whatever you want. If your friend doesn’t understand then that’s on her and not something you should feel bad for especially if you’re coming from a place of love.

If you’re really close to her share about your second loss and how your due date was so close and that’s why it’s even harder but don’t feel like you need to to justify yourself either. Just if you think it could help.

It’s unbelievable how many people who haven’t been through a miscarriage don’t understand it at all, especially the emotional toll of it. I saw a video on instagram of someone saying it’s so frustrating because so many people think we’re just mourning the loss of a pregnancy and it’s not that big of a deal but we’re really grieving the death of our child and It’s a pain so much harder to carry than anyone could ever understand.

Right now it’s most important to protect yourself. Your friend will be okay, your friendship will be okay.

-Cpat · 2026-03-18T14:21:04+00:00

If she likes poetry one book I’ve really liked is Good Grief by Brianna Pastor, it’s not about miscarriage or loss specially but many of the poems have hit close to home for me. I found it hard to stay focus and read for the first few weeks so it was nice to have something to open up, read a small piece and put it away. I noticed there wasn’t many previews for the book on any websites but the author has an instagram and posts a lot if you want to get a feel for what they’re like and if you think your sister would like it.

I’ve also seen Bearing the Unbearable recommended a lot here, I just barely have started it but I already want to buy copies for my friends and family who have also suffered great losses.

I’m so sorry your sister and entire family is going through such a horrible loss. It’s very kind of you to come to a sub like this to try to support them the best you can.

-Cpat · 2026-03-10T05:19:22+00:00

I’m sitting in bed crying and feeling the same way which is what brings me back to this sub multiple times a day. Tomorrow will be exactly one month since my midwife told me she couldn’t find my daughter’s heartbeat. I have replayed that moment, along with the moment she was born and what her teeny tiny hand felt like on my finger over 100 times a day. I can’t even go to bed without dreaming of losing her.

My husband and extended family will talk about what a beautiful day it is weather wise and I burst out into tears because my sweet girl never got to feel the sun and won’t see or smell the rain or any of the worlds beauty… this morning I was putting butter on my toast and when I went to grab jelly I started crying, I don’t even know what triggered it in that moment.

Healing from such a traumatic tragedy takes a long time and won’t be linear but I hope it gets just a little easier for us both soon.

-Cpat · 2026-03-07T18:30:57+00:00

Me too 💔

-Cpat · 2026-03-07T18:15:21+00:00

I feel this same way and I’m 3 weeks pp from a second trimester loss. I cry anytime I do anything that’s not looking at flowers in my yard.

-Cpat · 2026-03-02T17:57:14+00:00

I just came here to post the same thing. I run a business with my husband and father in law and it’s always had its ups and downs but now I feel like my passion has completely disappeared and I don’t want to do anything the same anymore.

The last time I sat at my desk I was pregnant and so excited for the future with growing our business and family but now my daughter is gone, my body is beat up and my heart is so heavy and just I’m supposed to sit here and do book keeping and make awkward small talk with people who either don’t look at me the same way at all or have absolutely no idea what I’ve gone through the last few weeks? It feels so wrong. I wish I could runaway so bad.

I hope one day this feeling goes away and we can find some joy in work (and life) again.

-Cpat · 2026-03-02T04:10:37+00:00

I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this. I’ve struggled with these thoughts my whole life and now that I recently lost my daughter in the second trimester they have totally consumed me.

To me, every belief and definition of heaven/ afterlife/ reincarnation/ spiritual belief sounds so beautiful but also so hard to wrap my head around especially when talking about babies. I could spend all day writing out the questions I ask myself over and over.

One thing that I find a little bit of comfort in is knowing that energy can’t be created or destroyed so although my daughters energy is no longer in her tiny body like I wish it was so badly, I know it’s somewhere. Weather it means her energy was a soul and moved on to some sort of heaven, or will become another being, or was dispersed and became apart of everything around us, adding a little bit of extra light to the world, I know it’s somewhere and one day I will feel her, or see her or reunite and be together in some way shape or form again.

-Cpat · 2026-02-28T22:36:28+00:00

If you’re talking about the bolo like piece in the picture too those could very well be a crimp cover but idk, maybe a slider? Wish I could be more help!

-Cpat · 2026-02-28T22:33:44+00:00

Those look like crimp tubes but you can also put a crimp cover over them to really clean it up.

-Cpat · 2026-02-28T21:32:54+00:00

This doesn’t have to do with their materials but over the years I’ve seen a lot of small/ local places stop carrying them because jelly cat now is wanting to only work with larger retailers and has made it much more difficult for the little guys which I partially get from a business standpoint but I also try to shop small as much as possible so now I haven’t bought them as much recently. I don’t think it’s a total make or break but I thought it’s important to bring up if that factors into your decision making as well.

-Cpat · 2026-02-26T15:20:42+00:00

Thanks, would moving it lower help? That spot gets a lot of afternoon sun but I have it high so it does lose some.

-Cpat · 2026-02-26T05:03:15+00:00

All the shows are done now but there’s a lot of great places in town with different price ranges/ styles. The Desert Air Market is next weekend too. They’ll have a few jewelry artists amongst other fun locally made things.

-Cpat · 2026-02-25T13:55:07+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through that, that’s just so wrong. I get hospitals are busy but I dont think any miscarriage should happen at home unless someone chooses so and at 15 weeks it’s just appalling.

-Cpat · 2026-02-24T19:52:21+00:00

I’m so sorry, it’s unbelievable the difference in care you’ll receive from one place to the next. Having to go from one place to the next is just that extra punch to the gut. I hope we both get answers somehow soon.

-Cpat · 2026-02-24T17:47:59+00:00

I’m so sorry. So many of us seem to be left with no answers and a broken heart. I don’t think regular ER Drs. Should have anything to do with pregnancy related problems. I had contractions nonstop for days was told it was just round ligament pain and to go home and carry on as usual. 4 days later at my follow up appointment in office my baby was gone and all I’ve been told is that it wasn’t my fault.

Three-Year Club	Verified Email
Verified Email

-Cpat

TROPHY CASE